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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

i dont know what to do anymore

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:56 AM
  • 22 Replies
Long story short, I am not happy in my marriage. My Dh doesn't treat me with respect and if I say something about I feel he throws a fit in one way or another. He does not know how to talk about anything serious with me. I want this to work for my kids but my heart isn't in it anymore. I went the last week with barely saying a word to him and he acts like everything is fine. This morning i lost it and told him I don't love him, which I don't, and that I am only doing this for our kids. He just got up and started folding clothes without saying anything. I feel so alone and broken. I don't want to leave him, I just want it to be better. I also know that is will not get better because he don't want to try to make it better. This is so hard and I know what I should do but its just hard. Any advice is welcome. I just needed to vent a bit so thank you if you read this.
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by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:56 AM
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Replies (1-10):
LilliesValley
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Will he go to counseling? I mean I know he doesn't want to try but if you're there with a packed bag and your like we need to try to do this or I'm going to go.... That's tough because there's so much more to your story. Doesn't treat you with respect means a lot of things... But it seems like you have already made up your mind too so....

mama91605
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:10 PM
I know there is a lot more I just don't want to type it all out. He won't go see a consuler, I have tried many times. He just don't believe I will make him leave, he thinks I will just get over it and everything will be okay. I tell him I am unhappy and he just looks at me and walks away, expecting me to just get over it. I cry and he ignores me. I took my wedding ring off a week ago and he hasn't noticed. I just feel alone and I needhim to be there for me


Quoting LilliesValley:

Will he go to counseling? I mean I know he doesn't want to try but if you're there with a packed bag and your like we need to try to do this or I'm going to go.... That's tough because there's so much more to your story. Doesn't treat you with respect means a lot of things... But it seems like you have already made up your mind too so....


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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:12 PM
2 moms liked this

If you don't love him, as you say you don't, why would you want to try to make it work?

Telling someone that you don't love them anymore is kind of a major blow. 

C.Fleury
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:14 PM
It sounds like you've made up your mind. However, if your only in it for your kids, it will be worse off for them, seeing two unhappy parents isn't good either. Try a trail seperation and maybe go from there. However me personally, I'd leave
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mama91605
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:15 PM
Would it be better to lie to him. He has pushed Mr so far away that I don't love him. I did at one point. As I said I want it to work for my family. Doesn't make since I know but I have 3 kids so I am not just in this for me.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

If you don't love him, as you say you don't, why would you want to try to make it work?

Telling someone that you don't love them anymore is kind of a major blow. 


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mama91605
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:16 PM
That's a good idea. I know it is not good for them. I know all the right answers but doing what is right is hard, kwim.


Quoting C.Fleury:

It sounds like you've made up your mind. However, if your only in it for your kids, it will be worse off for them, seeing two unhappy parents isn't good either. Try a trail seperation and maybe go from there. However me personally, I'd leave

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C.Fleury
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:17 PM
1 mom liked this
Nothing in life is easy. Just gotta do what is right. Of course you do know what's right

Quoting mama91605:

That's a good idea. I know it is not good for them. I know all the right answers but doing what is right is hard, kwim.




Quoting C.Fleury:

It sounds like you've made up your mind. However, if your only in it for your kids, it will be worse off for them, seeing two unhappy parents isn't good either. Try a trail seperation and maybe go from there. However me personally, I'd leave

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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:19 PM

So, you're willing to be a martyr then and live the rest of your life unhappy. So, let's say you stay around and be miserable with this man, and wait to divorce until your kids are grown. In 18 years, (just throwing that out, I don't know how old your kids are), your kids will leave the house and you'll only be 18 years older and more unhappy, trying to start over. And all of it will be that much harder. 

I don't think you should lie to him, but if you have thrown out there that you don't love him, and you're serious, then you need to not act like husband and wife. He needs to sleep on the couch, you need to not hug and kiss, whatever. If you have sex with him and continue to act like a couple you are just going to throw him mixed signals and he'll think you feel differently. 

Quoting mama91605:

Would it be better to lie to him. He has pushed Mr so far away that I don't love him. I did at one point. As I said I want it to work for my family. Doesn't make since I know but I have 3 kids so I am not just in this for me.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

If you don't love him, as you say you don't, why would you want to try to make it work?

Telling someone that you don't love them anymore is kind of a major blow. 



mama91605
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:33 PM
He is sleeping on the couch, no kissing no hugging and no sex for a while now. Thank you very much for your advice it makes a lot since. I know what I should do. I am just having a hard time leaving.
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Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

 (((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

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