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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

What do you think about couples having two weddings?

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:39 PM
  • 18 Replies

Couples Having Two Weddings Must Be Crazy

Posted by Maressa Brown on January 18, 2013

bride holding bouquetWell, guess the Great Recession can't get engaged couples down! The economy doesn't seem to be stopping plenty of almost-weds from planning not just one very involved, possibly pricey wedding ... but two! Yes, having more than one wedding is now a growing trend, according to The Wall Street Journal.

But let's not misunderstand here. This isn't just about the 1 percent or princess/prince-y brides and grooms wanting to throw as much money around for their Big Day as they can because they can. Couples are choosing to walk down the aisle more than once for a whole bunch of different and very personal reasons ...

The WSJ explains that couples are opting to have two full weddings (with full ceremonies and two receptions) due to religious differences (the groom's family wants a traditional Catholic ceremony in the church while the bride was dreaming of a casual beach affair), geographic challenges (the bride's huuuge family lives in California, the groom and his smaller family live in rural Vermont), differing family expectations (oh boy, do I know about this one!), etc.

More from The Stir: 'Teen Mom' Catelynn Lowell Is Having a Meltdown About Her Wedding

Apparently the way it works is that each family assumes responsibility for one event (including much of the planning and cost), as the intention is supposed to be to alleviate stress and fulfill both sides' wishes.

As well and good as that sounds on paper, I'm not so sure I just know I personally would want to pull my hair out if faced with a "double" or, as some couples call it, "split" wedding. Maaaaybe there could have been a way doing something like that would have actually been smart ... saved us money ... given everyone what they wanted? But then again, nah! In our case, my fiance and I had to make a decision that worked best for us, then stick to it -- or else turn into total doormats endlessly trying to please way too many people. Ughh. Double wedding? Try double nightmare!

To be fair, though, I could see how it could be a great route for some couples whose families really do want to take on a lot. For instance, by going with a second reception organized by her MIL -- who wanted to invite her huuuge extended family to a party in honor of my friend and her new husband -- a friend of mine was able to keep her first wedding reception much more intimate. In that case, I could see why two weddings worked as a stress reliever instead of maker. But man, talk about hit or miss!

What do you think about couples having two weddings?

by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
The_Doodle
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 12:42 PM
2 moms liked this

I think a wedding should be about what the couple wants. They should not feel obligated to have multiple weddings to satisfy family members.

steelcrazy
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 1:30 PM

I think that they don't know what they want or how to express their wishes.  A wedding is about the couple, not their parents and families.

My family is from Pennsylvania.  My SILs family is from Iowa.  My brother and his fiencee (now wife) lived in Tennessee.  They had everyone travel to them for the wedding instead of choosing either Iowa or Pennsylvania.  It worked out great and we all had a nice vacation in Tennessee to go along with the wonderful memories of their wedding.

Ngelulu
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:56 PM
My husband and I are going to have another wedding but its more like a "do over" wedding, since our first wedding was a very small ceremony and reception
JadsW
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:57 PM
Whatever floats their boats, but I wouldn't wanna do it twice.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
BazingaMama
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 4:33 PM
If it makes them happy and they have the money for it, then more power to them. I want to have a renewal wedding either for my 5 year anniversary or 10 year anniversary(I've been married for 2 1/2 years) because my first wedding was awful. It looked beautiful but my husband's family were jerks to me and my family and friends at our wedding. Not to mention that I was too busy trying to make everyone else happy at MY wedding. So I'm going to have a redo with what I want and only who I want there (my husband really doesn't care as long as we're together, lol).
MomToovey
by Marianne on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:52 PM

 I had never heard of this before. I, personally, would love to have a second wedding! There's so much that I'd do different now - not that there was anything wrong with my wedding, it's just that we have new tastes/interests and I'd love to have something new incorporated.

I know that's not what the article is about, but still! LOL.

BKozICan
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:56 PM

If you can't even negotiate and settle on one day, what hope do you have of maneuvering a life together? Will everything be dictated by everyone else's expectations?

pampire
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:59 PM

This is it.  I would also question if they really want dual weddings or are they unwilling to compromise so they are haiving two so each gets exactly what they want?  That's not a good blueprint for the marriage to come.

Quoting The_Doodle:

I think a wedding should be about what the couple wants. They should not feel obligated to have multiple weddings to satisfy family members.


alliesaurus
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:34 PM

That sounds soo stressful and expensive....I would not want to have to plan out two. Tom e a wedding is about two people and their families joining. It seems like a part of this is missing if you are having separate weddings with separate families. Unless this is exactly what the bride and groom want, Plus if i were the family at the second wedding I would feel cheated and like it was already done...so who get's to have their wedding first starts a whole new set of issues? Part of the wedding processs is working and compromising together to have a day that fits both of yours dreams. if you can't work out the details and have one day together, how are you ever going to get through anything else...are you going to buy separate houses when you have dfiferent styles? One wedding, the way Bride and Groom want it, and if you can't make it or don't like my location i'm sorry, but this day is NOT about you.

earthangel1967
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by YVONNE on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:43 PM

 I think they should make the wedding or weddings whatever the bride and groom wants and that is all that matters

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