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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Resentment

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:05 PM
  • 10 Replies
Is it wrong that I get so mad at my husband that he never includes our 2 year old daughter in anything he does?? I always hear well I have stuff to do and never does any of it with her. Well I have stuff to do too, but yet Im always taking care of her and everything I do shes with me. Im so tired of hearing his crap and its not like he spends a ton of time her playing either. Maybe 30-45 mins and thats only if and when he feels like it! Im always with her. Not that I dont love being with her but Im 6 months pregnant and having a rough pregnancy and cant do all the stuff she wants to do. I feel bad for her but suck up all the crappiness and tiredness and achiness I have to play with her while he sits his lazy ass on the couch watching tv cuz hes too tired from whatever crap he felt was more important than including our child. What do u guys think??
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by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
rayroe2
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:09 PM

BUMP!

inluvwcntryby
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:10 PM

 Men aren't like women.  My husband was very hands offish with our son until he was much older.  I think some men just don't handle little kids as well as some do.  Let's face it, men don't have the mommy gene either.

Talk to him.  Most times it's the only way to sort out a conflict.  (((hugs)))

raegan1221
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:12 PM
Completely agree.

Quoting inluvwcntryby:

 Men aren't like women.  My husband was very hands offish with our son until he was much older.  I think some men just don't handle little kids as well as some do.  Let's face it, men don't have the mommy gene either.


Talk to him.  Most times it's the only way to sort out a conflict.  (((hugs)))

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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:13 PM

My husband didn't actively take care of our daughter until she could walk, talk, and reason. Like, she had to carry on a full conversation, and even then he wouldn't like, play with her. 

DragonMother10
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 3:19 PM
I agree that men and women are completely different, but that is no excuse to not spend time with your child(ren). I am a stay at home mom and have a lot of time with my son and sometimes need a break. Even when my husband comes home late from work and is dead tired, he will still spend some time with our son. Talk to your husband about this is a problem. Try not to sound bitchy, a lot of us women tend to do that, I have been guilty of it. I need to remember and let women know, if you want a man to listen to you, don't, nag/sound bitchy to him. Be firm though and hopefully get your point across.
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MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:14 PM

If this is an issue may I ask why did ya'll decide to have another kid right now? I couldn't imagine my guy not giving a hand with the kids. He is extremely hands on with them. I think you two need to have a serious talk.

mama.farmer
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:53 PM

I sorta know how that is. DS is with me all the time, even if I'm just running to Walmart really quick and he's staying home...I take DS with me. I've come home sometimes when I've left DS with DH and heard DS screaming like his pants were on fire, and DH is just playing videogames. I know sometimes DS just needs to cry it out a bit, but it makes me nervous to come home and see/hear that. I change all diapers, do most feedings...DS is pretty much mine, but heaven forbid I ever say he's a mama's boy, because no, he better be Daddy's boy. Yeah, sure. Start doing more for him and maybe I'll concede. 

jellybeanjean
by Bronze Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:23 PM

I feel ya Mamma! I'm in a bit of the same situation right now. DH does not spend nearly enough time with DD, and I'm running the household, taking care of the baby and preggo. It's hard! We need a break! I notice that DH doesn't know how to play with her. All he does is pick her up and try to hold her like a newborn...and of course she is almost 11 months now so she won't have any of that for too long...I'm trying to figure out a way to get him more involved. Its the worst feeling when you have been cooking and cleaning and doing laundry and taking care of the baby all day, your exhaused, you know? ... and then DH comes home only to sit his ass by the computer or TV and not even offer a hand.  =(

KaleyG07
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:43 PM

My husband is the same way - especially with our older daughter.  It's so frustrating that our kids are the centre of our world (as they should be), and guys can just check out if they want to.  When our second daughter was born he was much more involved - mostly because he had to be.  I started using the line "Do you want to help me with this or do you want to do it yourself?" and "Do you want to change the baby or get breakfast for our daughter?".  Because he HAD to be more involved, he became alot closer to our second daughter and actually wanted to spend time with her.  I'm still working on getting him to spend more time with both of them - especially with our older daughter.  I found that signing them up for classes, or sending them to do activities one-on-one helps alot.  That way there are other people around, so they can't exactly ignore the kids like the can at home.  Good luck! And best of luck with your second baby! 

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 4:55 PM

 (((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

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