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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is it just me, or.........

Posted by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:51 PM
  • 31 Replies
My husband pays a hefty child support for his three children and alimony to his ex. Child support is used for food,clothing,school supplies,entertainment...etc. his ex asks him to help her pay half of the kids school supplies and school uniforms. Is it just me or is he paying for what child support already pays for? It's really unnerving me. Let me know what y'all think!
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Cindy1221
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Hell yea! I would think thats part of the child support. Course you could look at the divorce agreement to see what the agreement was from the start. Then ask hubby if shes just playing on his soft side? The real question is: is he going to honor her request? Then you will find out how you should feel about it. Just because she asks doesn't mean he is going to do it right? Or does it?
Mom7142
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:07 PM
That's just it, she asked and he paid! When I expressed myself about it, he said he agreed with me about how child support has already paid for such things but he also said that he wanted his kids to know that he takes care of them! It's complete BS! He is a sucker.....I love him lots but he is a push over!
Cindy1221
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:41 PM
Sounds like shes playing him. He probably just wants to be the good guy, superman to the kids, kinda sounds like the night in shining armor syndrome. Lol...overall I'm sure he is a good guy. However, if it makes you suffer then that would be another story, maybe? Also, does she ask for money all the time from him, "for the kids"?
Armywifeholcomb
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 10:59 PM
My man's ex would do that!
She would get cs $1500+ during summer while they were here, but still would want him to help buy clothes and school supplies! I mean seriously?? Wth did she do with THAT much money? She didn't feed them, have them using water or electric (heck she was prolly at one of her bf's house the whole time anyway)
He didn't ever give it tho bc she's a greedy b!tc#. Instead, while they were here, we bought them a couple outfits each. But that's bc we wanted to make sure they got some new clothes for the coming school year.(this was after we had to buy them shorts for summer bc you guessed it! She hadn't bought them any)
I'm stopping before I get any more mad...
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justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:13 PM
1 mom liked this
Well I mean when you vowed to love him you also vowed to live his kid(s). And he should be willing to support them. This is something you need to accept. They came before you. Period. So what if he pays a little extra. What if that were your kid. And your kid needed a uniform!?

Reverse this situation.

I just wish stepmoms could ease up a bit with the $ issue and be more supportive. Don't force him to hide it from you.
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Armywifeholcomb
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this
I don't think that the problem is always that SM doesn't want him to support the kids.
When the BM comes home with her hair and nails done, new outfits, shoes, expensive purses, going out partying but then the kids haven't gotten new clothes, haircuts, shoes,(in years) wearing two sizes too small panties and bras. There's a problem. Especially if she hadn't had them for 6 weeks (3x cs checks at $500+ a piece) and still asks for more money, there's a problem.
We have been told by my SDs (more than one) that she did these things.
Since they have lived with us, we have gotten (most) all these things without asking her for a dime to help. It's an on going thing bc they needed sooo much.
I wasn't against him helping out his kids, I was against giving her the extra cash that we weren't sure if she would actually use it on them. We took them while they were with us. I even bought them notebooks they wanted so I knew they at least had those.


Quoting justpeachy71904:

Well I mean when you vowed to love him you also vowed to live his kid(s). And he should be willing to support them. This is something you need to accept. They came before you. Period. So what if he pays a little extra. What if that were your kid. And your kid needed a uniform!?



Reverse this situation.



I just wish stepmoms could ease up a bit with the $ issue and be more supportive. Don't force him to hide it from you.

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Mayra99
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:51 PM
It's to pay for anything & everything, books, rent/mortgage, groceries, school things. maybe after bills she ran out of money?
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pittymama
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:21 AM
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i would think child support is used to SUPPORT the child as in school supplies/uniforms. 

raegan1221
by Silver Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:25 AM
I think its each their own on that. Child support is for the care of the child. However, if money runs short I think its nice to be able be amicable with each other enough to work extras out. It's expensive raising children with or without support. My ex helps with our sons clothes from time to time and his baseball pants. But it is not expected, it is appreciated.
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Mom7142
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:13 AM
You are right, there are many SM that hate when their husband puts kids needs before their own. This is my deal. Ex wife gets paid 2600 a month for child support. Ex wife also gets 550 alimony every month. She lives in a family house beside her mom and pays nothing each month but water, elec and phone. My husband paid off car. Her total bills each month equal to be about 170 . My husband does what any father should do and support his children but when it comes to the ex's shortfalls with handling money, it's not his place, in my opinion, to be her bank!
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