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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Pre nup?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:02 PM
  • 26 Replies
My SO and I are getting engaged soon (I know it's happening just not sure when he's gonna pop the question) we have a date set for May of 2014:)
Last week he asked if I'd sign a pre-nup that if we divorced I wouldn't take his pension. At first it bothered me and now I guess I don't care. It doesn't bother because I would take it, it bother me because it feels like we are starting off with negative feeling. Anyone else sign a prenup?
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by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ilovemykids732
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:05 PM
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Not my DH and I... but than again, we BOTH started off with nothing... so if we were to have signed a pre-nup it would have done NOTHING!

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM

No. I would not sign a pre-nup. If I can't trust the man, I surely shouldn't be marrying him. If he doesn't trust me, he has no business marrying me. 

But, that is just how I see it.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:06 PM

 No

AleaKat
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:07 PM
Nope.
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MsRkg
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:10 PM

It was a requirement , mostly on my part, for my marriage to my husband. We both agreeded that we should have one in the event that things went sour. There was nothing negative behind it. For us it was more about being safe, practical, and being  realist and realizing that sometimes things don't last forever and if for whatever reason they don't , we are both protected.

jmjdj
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:16 PM
I understand you feeling this way, but he's just trying to protect what he has worked so hard for. My ex and I were married 15 years by the time we divorced. I had over ten years invested in my pension and fought hard to keep every dime of it. For the ten years I worked to build it, he job hopped for part of it then opened his own business. My job supported this family during all those years. I didn't feel he should get any of what I had worked so hard for when I had supported him, his dream and the family. Oh...and the fact the he cheated on me didn't help either.

I think your soon to be husband is being smart. Trust me...you never know what someone is really capable of doing 15 or 20 years down the road. I sure never would've believed my ex would have done all the things he has done when we first got married. I still can't believe it now.

If you live in a community property state, a retirement account is automatically considered community property regardless of how much he had in it before he married you. Texas does have rules regarding how long you have to be married to be entitled to any portion of it but if you are married 10 years, you would be entitled to half of what he put into it (but not any of the company's matching funds). This could be a huge chunk of change and he shouldn't have to worry about that since he invested in his own future.

I know most people think only rich people who have tons of wealth to protect have prenups, but even middle class people who are smart should think about them too.
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AlannaMaria
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:23 PM
Same here

Quoting ilovemykids732:

Not my DH and I... but than again, we BOTH started off with nothing... so if we were to have signed a pre-nup it would have done NOTHING!

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theresaphilly
by Bronze Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:41 PM
I did, he comes from a extremely wealthy family from Greenwich,CT and he wants to keep certain things in his family. I have no problem when I signed it. Its not a matter of trust, people get bitter and mean when it comes to divorce.
momofsunshine77
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:46 PM
2 moms liked this

no prenup - I would not have married him if I had to sign one.  If you dont think it would last forever, then you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. 

lapcounter
by Gold Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:14 PM
We didn't because we.started with nothing but I think they are a great idea and I would not remarry without one if something happened to my husband.
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