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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Are my expectations too high for my age group??

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Poll

Question: Should I consider dating older men?

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Yes

No


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Total Votes: 28

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Dating at 22 with a daughter isn't the easiest already. That's not the biggest issue though. It seems guys my age no longer asks girls on dates!! Am I wrong for wanting to go out? I dont get why if I like a guy, that becomes an issue. I even tell them from the start and they seem ok with it, but they never go about it. My friend is dating someone who is 45 and tells me I should join the club because he treats her like royalty.. If I want moer respect and appreciation do I have to date older? Or maybe the guy just has yet to come? I just dont understand what's so hard about going out these days. All guys around my age just want to do is "chill" -_-

LOL opinions please! 

Like should I try a different age because, I dont want to keep dating and dating if all these guys my age rather club or just come "chill" then actually go out and enjoy life.... i dont want to sound picky but I am a stay at home mom and I go to school. I do enough chilling and I dont have friends to hang with. . 

by on Jan. 25, 2013 at 11:25 PM
Replies (11-20):
unsuspected
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:29 AM
1 mom liked this

Find some friends first off, so you're not putting ALL your social eggs into a dating/realtionship basket.  

As far as dating above your age braket ... what are you looking for?  What do you want out of a realtionship?  Because if you're looking for a partner and co parent for the long haul, as in 'happily ever after' ... HIS ever after is going to be a lot shorter than yours!  And you run the risk of dating men that see you merely as as a hot 20 something.

You don;t need a set, perfect age requirement ... you need to figure out who you are and what you require in a mate.  

ohprettymommy
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:35 AM


Wow thank you! I think that definitely helped me. I am actually sure it did!! I do still need to know who I am and what I want in life before I go pursuing something! 

Quoting unsuspected:

Find some friends first off, so you're not putting ALL your social eggs into a dating/realtionship basket.  

As far as dating above your age braket ... what are you looking for?  What do you want out of a realtionship?  Because if you're looking for a partner and co parent for the long haul, as in 'happily ever after' ... HIS ever after is going to be a lot shorter than yours!  And you run the risk of dating men that see you merely as as a hot 20 something.

You don;t need a set, perfect age requirement ... you need to figure out who you are and what you require in a mate.  



Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:14 AM
You should date based on who you're attracted to, not their age group. I know people who date men twice their age and are treated like crap. Age is no indication of manners.

Maybe adjust your standards? My husband is only 2 years older than I am and he basically thinks I'm God.
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unsuspected
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:28 AM

You're welcome.  :oD  I really didn't mean to come across as a know it all or anything, I tend to get right to the point and sometimes it comes across snarky.  I honestly meant this with care.  I wish you the best.  :oD  

Quoting ohprettymommy:


Wow thank you! I think that definitely helped me. I am actually sure it did!! I do still need to know who I am and what I want in life before I go pursuing something! 

Quoting unsuspected:

Find some friends first off, so you're not putting ALL your social eggs into a dating/realtionship basket.  

As far as dating above your age braket ... what are you looking for?  What do you want out of a realtionship?  Because if you're looking for a partner and co parent for the long haul, as in 'happily ever after' ... HIS ever after is going to be a lot shorter than yours!  And you run the risk of dating men that see you merely as as a hot 20 something.

You don;t need a set, perfect age requirement ... you need to figure out who you are and what you require in a mate.  




“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.” ~Bob Marley
biancalina20
by Bianca Lina on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:10 AM
Ive had a neg experience with an older guy. I was married to one who was eleven years older than me and I am 22 just like u. We got together when I was 19. I ofteb felt like he treated me like my dad. Ick. Things went sour for many reasons though.

Im divorced btw. I have an SO now who is 26 and we mesh great. I wouldn't go for guys my age though...
I also have a dd too .
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jacobsmommy84
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:49 AM
I adore my husband to pieces. He's 34 and I'm 28 and we met 3 years ago. But we joke all the time that if we had met any sooner, we never would have ended up together. I would never have gone out with him and he would never have asked me out. He was a party animal and treated girls like crap and I was a working mom.
Lol.... Age does affect a guy. They do eventually grow up. Just be patient and find someone who is at the same place you are in life~
Hugs!!
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ttc1rainbow
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:56 AM

I'm sort of torn because, on the one hand I don't feel age means they're more mature. But yet, I do..lol I think ultimately it depends on the guy, how he was brought up. Does he have morals and goals, and was taught how to treat a lady. I do agree with you, most guys in their 20's seem to, well lack respect and chivelry for women and they're too lazy and dependent on mom & dad. NOT all of them, but the majority I've found in the past.

I'm not sure I would suggest you dating someone old enough to be your dad! But, I'm 27 and my DH is 36. Branch out to guys in their late 20's, early 30's. Can't hurt! :) GL to you!!

ttc1rainbow
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:58 AM

This is great advice!  

Quoting unsuspected:

Find some friends first off, so you're not putting ALL your social eggs into a dating/realtionship basket.  

As far as dating above your age braket ... what are you looking for?  What do you want out of a realtionship?  Because if you're looking for a partner and co parent for the long haul, as in 'happily ever after' ... HIS ever after is going to be a lot shorter than yours!  And you run the risk of dating men that see you merely as as a hot 20 something.

You don;t need a set, perfect age requirement ... you need to figure out who you are and what you require in a mate.  

 

edelweiss23
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:00 AM
I was 27 with 2 small children, when I reconnected with someone I met when I was 15. He is almost 6 years older then I am and a great guy.

Try going just slightly older then yourself.
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TJandKarasMom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 8:04 AM
Not all older guys are mature and not all younger guys are immature lol. I agree with others that said find a single dad, my DH and I each had a child before and I can guarantee if only one of us had a kid first we never would have lasted this long (almost 10 years). We were both young when we met, I was 21 he was 20. I questioned it for a few years actually. I fell for him pretty quickly but the older part of my brain wouldn't let me get too attached because I was sure it wouldn't work out because he was very young, but boy was he fun lol. He made me a better mom because he was so laid back. Our babies grew up together and DH and I grew up together. Now I am 30 and he is 29 and he is an amazing man. He was a fun boy but still polite, he always opened my door, carried my bags, paid for dinner, etc. But now he cooks me dinner, lets me take naps, gives me everything he can. Times aren't always easy but I am so lucky to have him through everything.

My ex was a bit older than me and I still have to see him, I can't imagine being with him at this age. I stayed with him for too long bc I thought there was no one else out there for me. So my advice is keep an open mind, find a single dad or a man that really understands what it means to be a parent, that your kid will come first and that you may have to be in contact with another man that happens to be your kids dad. He should understand and be ok with the fact that you've had another mans baby, some guys have a huge problem with that.

You'll find the right guy, just don't worry about it and enjoy life with your baby :). The right guy will come along when you least expect it, mine did.
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