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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
So I'm like 8 days postpartum, and I'm *slightly* hormonal- but I need to know if I'm right in feeling this way.



Hubby told me that he was going to bed, I was going to stay up and clean and pump more milk for the Squeak. I picked up laundry from the living room to take to the hamper and walk past the bedroom door and lo and be-freaking-hold- he's watching porn. For whatever reason my heart dropped into my stomach and I felt hurt. He's not even affectionate with me, and though I've offered to do things with him, he'd rather watch porn. I- being immature and bitchy- opened the door to get the things I need to shower and he deer in the headlight looked at me. I was like "bad timing" (knowing what Id seen) and he was like nope, just playing on my phone.



My feelings are hurt. I feel betrayed. I childishly sent him a text and said that said that he didn't have to lie to me and all, but my feelings are still hurt.





What the hell is wrong with me?
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:17 AM
Replies (11-20):
Ninjascreenname
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:09 AM
1 mom liked this
No tearing, no cuts, no damage- LOL

He said to use condoms and when I felt ready I could resume sexual activity.


Quoting USMCwife0530:

I'd be pissed as hell! 8 days pp and he's watching porn instead?! What a jerk! (No offense) Of course its normal to feel hurt, you've just given birth, your hormones are all over the place, your body may look different and he's off looking at that crap. I would sit down and let him know how it makes you feel. He needs to be more sympathetic.

*on a side note: your dr gave you the green light for sex after 8 days pp?! Most drs advise to wait at least 6 weeks.

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Sheilaweila07
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:21 AM

I'm sorry u have to go through this. If he is holding this "free shot"  over ur head then that is a serious problem.  He thinks he has something on u. That's not what true love is. I'm all about working it out but u need to talk with him and be real. U r a person with feelings and he should realize that. Good luck:)

Ninjascreenname
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:25 AM
Thank you. I just don't even know what else to say- when I try to talk to him he's just so short like I'm just making things inconvenient for him. I don't hound him but he just refuses to talk to me


Quoting Sheilaweila07:

I'm sorry u have to go through this. If he is holding this "free shot"  over ur head then that is a serious problem.  He thinks he has something on u. That's not what true love is. I'm all about working it out but u need to talk with him and be real. U r a person with feelings and he should realize that. Good luck:)


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Sheilaweila07
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:28 AM

Well I guess he needs to make up his mind if he wants u or not. How can he expect u to stay around when he is acting like that. Communication is very important and needs to come from both of u on this even if it is uncomfortable. Otherwise this will only go downhill I'm afraid:(

prieta05
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:36 AM
Your comment was good and your screen name is cool.. I be calling my baby grumpy or grumps lol


Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

Ummm. No you are normal. You just gave birth. The ass needs to be more sympathetic. Sorry but there us no room for porn in my marriage either.

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swthrt737
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 4:44 AM
Talk about it,tell dh how you want him to treat you explain to him how hurt you are and find a soln. to it i know he never meant to hurt you but was caught up. Sorry dear
Lindalou907
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:18 AM

Nothing is wrong with you, but the fact is many men would rather watch porn and masturbate than make love because they are often LAZY. Try not to take it personally.

Grumpylilpixy
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Aww. Thanks. :0)

Quoting prieta05:

Your comment was good and your screen name is cool.. I be calling my baby grumpy or grumps lol




Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

Ummm. No you are normal. You just gave birth. The ass needs to be more sympathetic. Sorry but there us no room for porn in my marriage either.

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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

Um, ok, this is going to be very blunt, so if anyone is squeamish, move on.

After only 8 days your vagina is a still a large, stretched out gaping hole. That in combo with your hormone fluctuations which could leave you dry as a bone would not make for the most fulfilling of sexual experiences with him.

Did he watch the birth, with this one or your previous one? Some men freak out after watching a woman push a baby through and it kills their sex drive for a while. That could be a problem too. 

And you cheated on him previously? You guys have much larger issues here. I think it's kind of hypocritical to say that you felt like he was "cheating" by looking at porn when you actually put someone else's penis into your body. 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:23 PM
You're not wrong for feeling that way. It's one thing to watch porn, but then to lie about it is doubly rude. I would talk to him explain how you're feeling in the relationship (he's not affectionate) and how his watching porn exacerbated things. Then on top of all that, how it felt when he lied. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you, and he may have thought he was protecting you when he lied. But you both need to be open and honest with each other. Good luck
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