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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

In your honest opinion how do you feel about open marriage? There was a episode on Ricki Lake the other day and I'm still amazed. *On the open marriage aspect I think I should let it be known that these people were already married for about 12 yrs before they started having a open marriage. At that point they had 3 kids and didn't want to get divorced.*

Also would any of you swing with your husband or have a threesome?

I know these are personal questions so if you don't feel comfortable answering feel free to inbox me.

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 9:58 AM
Replies (241-250):
Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:10 AM


Quoting mrsfitz05:

 Are you and your DH's SO friends too or do you just coexist? I have to wonder what made her choose this kind of relationship if she is more monogomy minded?  At first it was coexistance because i typically don't get along with other women and especially ones much younger then me.  Now we get along, we still have our moments lol but it is much much better.

I think it's great you made this decision together. I think a lot of people with open marriages, swinging, multiple spouses, etc often get "talked" into it. One spouse wants this and the other goes along. That seems like a recipe for disaster. I agree that usually it is one coerced into it and i have seen it fail miserably in this lifestyle, repeatedly

Do you have kids together or in some combination? Feel free to cut me off if I'm being too nosey. I just find it interesting to understand people's lives when they are different from mine! :-)  DH and i have 2 kids (13 and 19), Dh and his SO have 1 son together (1 yr old) and my SO and I are raising his daughter who is 3.

Quoting Anryan:


Quoting mrsfitz05:

How do you have time for that? Between sex, maintaining the relationship and presumably kids? I barely have time for one. :)  LOL it takes alot of getting use to and practice lol

What made you decide I this lifestyle? Do you cohabitate?  DH and i talked about it for several years after seeing a story on one of the news programs (20/20 or something, i don't remember which) and then we decided that we wouldn't actively look for people but if they showed up, why not.  Well 2 months later they showed up within weeks of each other lol.  Yes we do live together and there is no group sex, it is all "couples"...meaning me and dh, me and my so, dh and his so.  We all have our own rooms and i go to SO's room and DH to his SO's room.  We have a schedule as well, i sleep 2 nights with DH then 2 nights with my SO...when i am with my SO then DH is with his.  There is never anyone from outside our family involved...we are a closed "unit" so to speak.....confused yet lol.

Is there really no jealousy? I've heard of women managing on this situation but never encountered one with multiple husbands. Most men are territorial so I have trouble visualizing this.  There is jealousy, we are all human.  There is no jealousy between the men however as DH is very A type personality and SO is more laid back and goes with the flow...plus they are best friends now.  There was jealousy between us girls at first, more on the others then mine as she is very young (just turned 25) and monogamous by nature.  I am polyamorous by nature and know that by loving one i am not taking from the other, it is equal.  My guys understand that as well as they are both poly minded as well.  The other thing that is different between her and i is how i look at jealousy..to me if i feel jealousy i realize it isn't someones fault it is because i am missing something, so i think on it, figure out WHAT is truly the problem then address that as oppossed to simply getting madder and madder and fueling the monster til it grows into an issue...make sense?

No judgment from me. My beliefs about MY marriage are based on my faith. However, not everyone shares that and it would be silly to expect them to live by the same "rules". I believe the law should stay out of out entirely as long as they are consenting adults.
  I agree, life is short and hard enough, who cares who we love or how many....as long as no one is hurt and everyone knows what is going on and everyones needs are met, it is that relationships business not the government or church or joe public.  Nice to meet you :O)
Quoting Anryan:

i am polyamorous and  in a committed relationship with 2 men, my legal husband fo 18 yrs also has another partner (another woman) and we have been successful for almost  5 yrs now..




 


shawna_scott
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:37 AM

i believe that marriage is from God, so that wouldnt work for me.

Swt7
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:45 AM
Never!
clau1138
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:54 AM

I think that something like an open relationship works if both parties  must be completely honest about what they want and respect each other decisions and feelings.....it takes a lot of commitment on both sides to fully enjoy the experience but I do think it is capable. boundaries must be set and respected, if two people can compartmentalize and be clear to potential partners about what the couple wants then I think it can be very gratifying. but I believe that both parties need to be commended in each other and confident within themselves, fully trust and respect each other then it has the potential to work. sex is just sex and it  natural, it has nothing to do with love unless you let your emotions take over you. honesty is the main thing there needs to be in order to be apart of an open relationship and I am talking about this by experience. granted it is not for everyone and nobody should push anybody into doing anything they don't want. 

Brandycharping
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:59 AM
This is how I feel about it..


Quoting WesternNYmom:

An open marriage isn't for me or my husband.  I won't share my man with another woman, and he would never share me with another man.  I am not judging anyone who chooses to have an open marriage. If that is what they want, I say go for it.


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awesomeamylynn
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:08 AM

I am way too jelious to have an open marriage or be involved in a three some. I know a couple who said it was ok for the other to "cheat" as long as their lover was not brought around them or their kids. They both said, it was not fun to "cheat" because it was allowed. I do not know if either one of them ever have, however. I never asked as I thought it was their business and not mine.

awesomeamylynn
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:10 AM

Another friend of mine has both a husband and a boyfriend. Both the husband and the boyfriend know about each other and nither one of them does anything to stop either relationship. The funny thing is that both her husband and her boyfriend have the same first name.

Valentina327
by Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 3:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I've been reading all of these replies and can't help wondering how different the answers might be if this question were posted on a Daddy board...
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AmosFarkle
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:19 AM
1 mom liked this

No, and no.  Not to say I haven't fantasized, though.  But that's where things should stay...in fantasyland.

motamaid
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:58 AM
1 mom liked this
I wouldn't openly date and love out of my marriage but I would maybe do an occasional 3some fun night with hubby included. We have not done anything like that but I have in my early 20s with past boyfriends.
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