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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

8 Things Every Couple Should Do for a Successful Marriage - How do you keep your marriage healthy?

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:50 AM
  • 14 Replies

8 Things Every Couple Should Do for a Successful Marriage

Posted by Andrew Kardon on January 25, 2013 

Marriage. Unless your name happens to be Cinderella, there's a super slim chance you and your hubby are going to live happily ever after. Divorce rates are higher than ever, with something like 11 out of every 10 marriages ending in splitsville. (Note: I may be slightly off in my math.)

No marriage is perfect. But you know what? It doesn't have to be! It just needs to be successful so you and your spouse can live a long and happy life together.

Nobody enters a marriage thinking it could one day end. Romance has a way of blinding the future. But reality eventually sets in. Couples get into routines. Money and communication issues inevitably worm their way into your relationship. Before you know it, you're on a roller-coaster you never even signed up for.

That's not to say marriage can't be wonderful. It certainly can. And with just a little bit of effort, you can help make it last by following these 8 things every couple should do for a successful marriage.

1. Never Go to Bed Angry - This is a great rule to follow. No matter how upset you are, don't let your emotions fester. Talk it out. Even if you don't agree, at least agree to disagree before going to bed for the night. Besides, sleeping on the couch is really bad for your back.

2. Think Small - All the little things you do make a huge difference. That could be setting up the coffee pot every morning for your husband, or having your hubby gas up your car when it's close to empty. See, size does matter.

3. Be Impulsive - The longer you're married, the more set in your routine you'll be. It's just human nature. So "plan" on being impulsive. Out of the blue, do something sweet for your spouse. Gift a song via iTunes. Mail a Hallmark card. Leave a note on the pillow.

4. Compromise - Guys? Suck it up. Go watch a chick flick with your wife. In return, ladies, don't give your guy grief next time he's watching football. Basically, respect each other's interests and do a lot of give and take. The exception, of course, being Twilight. No man should ever have to suffer through that.

5. Be Your Own Person - Probably one of the most important things to remember is that besides being a happily married couple, you are an individual. It's okay (and healthy!) to do your own thing, whether it's exercising, a girls' night out, or playing poker with the guys. Enjoy your own time and be happy your spouse is enjoying his or hers too. Just be sure they're not enjoying it too much ...

6. Make Time - The older you get, the crazier and busier you get -- from working overtime to driving the kids all over the place. When life's at its craziest, that's when you really need to take a breath and set up some time together. Whether it's a real date night out on the town or just snuggling up on the couch with a good movie, make the effort to make the time.

7. Laugh More - Seriously, laughter really is the best medicine. Crack a joke. Shove a pie in your face. Use more whoopee cushions. Whatever it takes, just relax and enjoy life.

8. Be Thankful - Don't take your spouse for granted. So what if he's made dinner every night since you've been married. You should still thank him. If it tastes good, that is.

How do you keep your marriage healthy?

by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 10:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsShipley21
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I have learned in a marriage being humble is the way to go ;) You have to be willing to fight for your marriage. Many sacrafices and respect. Marriage is amazing the way it can grow. I also understand there is a thin line between love and hate, Boy do I! I adore my family. My husabnd is my best friend and I never want to picture my life without him. I love you Vanilla Bean ^_^ 

momromtheheart
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Amen
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AimSnapHolz
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 3:29 PM
2 moms liked this

I agree with them all except the constantly-stated "Don't go to bed angry." Sometimes it's okay. Sometimes things can't be worked out in one night and sometimes you're just too tired. Sometimes you need time. I prefer to follow the rule: "Don't go to bed without telling your SO you love them - and meaning it." You can be mad, but never refuse to give them that affirmation of your love.

MamaMorgan0709
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 5:52 PM
1 mom liked this

I'm with AimSnapHolz: I hate don't go to bed angry! Sometimes you both are just too tired to come to a mutual agreement. 


I also agree with MrsShipley21: Be willing to fight for your marriage. 

My Dh and I almost split b/c he refused to fight. He'd let me yell and throw a fit and not say anything back... It led to him looking for a more friendly face... We went to marriage counseling and our counselor told him he needs to validate what I'm upset about. Just show you're listening even if you don't agree. 

That was almost 2 years ago now. 

The best advice I got out of our sessions was;  You each have to keep doing little things to stay together.   

arthistmom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 6:58 PM

Definitely #6 and #7. It may not be romantic but we put our date nights on the calendar much like any other important appointment, so things like the sitter is arranged ahead of time. These grown-up evenings out are actually the subscription concert dates to our local symphony so on these nights we can look forward to getting dressed up and spending time together to enjoy one of our favorite activities. And our boys actually look forward to these date nights because they get to spend the evening with their sitter, a friend of the family whom they adore, like another grandmother.

As for #7, I think it's important that a couple allow each other the room to grow and cultivate and pursue new interests (and maintain old ones). A marriage isn't static but is a dynamic entity, and so are the people in it. A strong relationship should be fluid enough to allow for growth (emotionally, intellectually, etc.) of each individual.

SlightlyPerfect
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Chanting. "4 more weeks."
Yesterday at 8:14 PM
by Slightly Perfect on Jan. 26, 2013 at 7:39 PM

I like "think small." It's universal, applicable to everything.

slightlyperfect

RheaF
by Silver Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:35 PM

 Everything but the "don;t go to bed angry". Sometimes, it is better to sleep on it. Even if that means a few days of sleeping on it. I would rather take the time and cool off, than attack the situation, saying things in the heat of the moment I will later regret. Trust me, we have been there, and waiting is sometimes better than try to settle or rush the process(depending on what the issue is).

Autiziumom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:37 PM
Amen on all of it!
TheJs
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:42 PM
i totally agree.

Quoting AimSnapHolz:

I agree with them all except the constantly-stated "Don't go to bed angry." Sometimes it's okay. Sometimes things can't be worked out in one night and sometimes you're just too tired. Sometimes you need time. I prefer to follow the rule: "Don't go to bed without telling your SO you love them - and meaning it." You can be mad, but never refuse to give them that affirmation of your love.

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DragonMother10
by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 4:48 PM
One thing my husband and I both learned that mistakes and problems happen, but it's how you handle them that matters. Between my husband and I, it is like WIII, but we both love each other deeply and won't give up in each other. We are still fairly new to our relationship, so we have a lot of work to do. We have our good moments too and we need to keep making more. Just last night we got into an argument but instead of letting it snowball, we took about 5-10 to calm down and before you know it, we are cuddling on the couch watching a movie.
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