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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Feeling extremely neglected...

Posted by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:06 AM
  • 11 Replies
My husband is always on his damn phone!!! He carries it with him everywhere, the bathroom, when he takes a shower, when we have dinner. When we are in bed watching tv he's on his phone. We have had sex twice in the past 3 months. I try and start up conversation by asking him what he's reading and he says "something on the Internet"..,,well ok...what are you reading? I want to be included too! I don't know what to do. Anytime I try and address the issue, he gets all defensive and points out something I do that he doesn't like. Please help. We have only been married for 5 months. I'm feeling so neglected, hurt, unimportant, and depressed. I need advice please.
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by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Matriarch87
by Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this
Gotta be straight and honest. Just blurt it out. "Babe I miss you I feel like we don't talk anymore."...
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Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:18 AM
In the shower?
Someone is addicted.
If you can pause tv, do it. When he gives you that look (you'll see) just tell him you didn't want him to miss anything. That's how I got my husband to be off the phone while watching tv together.
As for meal times, I'd implement a no electronics while eating rule. Everyone puts their phones in one room and then goes to another to eat together. Dinner time is family time.
The bathroom is understandable. Although, when my husband disappears for 45 minutes, I know he's just reading and is finished doing what he went in for and encourage him to get up. It helps that he fell while getting up once because he sat on the toilet too long and had no blood flowing to his legs.
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eoewan
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Because your dh is deflecting and brings up something he doesn't like about you shows his immaturity. The only suggestion I have for you is see if he will go to marriage counselling. Your marriage is going off the rails after 5 months. If you want to help your marriage find a psychologist that can get you two moving in the same direction. Good luck.

momromtheheart
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 11:38 AM
Tell him how you feel that you feel ,neglected, hurt, and unimportant to him because he is always on his phone , you want time with him without his phone.i pray everything go well for you.
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lapcounter
by Gold Member on Jan. 26, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Is it possible he is hiding.something since he won't tell you exactly what he is reading?
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MomToovey
by Marianne on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:27 PM
Exactly this

Quoting Mrsfarr:

In the shower?

Someone is addicted.

If you can pause tv, do it. When he gives you that look (you'll see) just tell him you didn't want him to miss anything. That's how I got my husband to be off the phone while watching tv together.

As for meal times, I'd implement a no electronics while eating rule. Everyone puts their phones in one room and then goes to another to eat together. Dinner time is family time.

The bathroom is understandable. Although, when my husband disappears for 45 minutes, I know he's just reading and is finished doing what he went in for and encourage him to get up. It helps that he fell while getting up once because he sat on the toilet too long and had no blood flowing to his legs.
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Lslk
by on Jan. 26, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Hmm. On his phone constantly, not telling you what he is doing on his phone, not showing you what is on his phone, getting defensive about his phone, bringing up what you do wrong.....sounds like he is doing something he definatly shouldn't be doing. I hope it's not what I think it is, if you get my drift.    Hugs!!!!

EthansFabMom
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:20 AM
Thank you so much for posting this!!! What an encouraging read! Thank you!!!


Quoting divinemomma:

Surviving the First Year of Marriage


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kiddo0820
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:29 AM
I've had the same problem with my husband. Last weekend we were waiting in out car for someone and I tried having a conversation with him and he pulled out his phone, I got upset and said "I am sick of your phone always getting more attention then us, does are relationship really mean that little to you? Here we are with some time to catch up and you choose your phone over spending time with your wife? What is so damn important that it can't wait?" He ended up getting mad (he said he was mad at himself) and threw his phone in a snow bank. Ever since then, he's been a little better about it.
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