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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Dating a younger Man, having a baby at my age ? So many questions ...Help,,,

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Hi,

I'll try to make this short. I was in a happy marriage (or so I thought) to this wonderful Man that loved me more than himself (or so I thought) we bought a house, I finally got pregnant after trying for 2 yrs, life was good...until at 8 months pregnant and only 1 week in our new house I received a call that distoyed everything I had, he was cheating on me. For 3 years we tried, or I did...it didnt work, we got divorced. Since then I did not trust anyone so dating was not in my books.

One day I met this guy who did anything possible to take me on a date, I have no idea how many times I turned him down.I finally went and long story short we have been together for 1.5 yrs. Its been great, He is wonderful and treats me like a Queen. He is 13 yrs younger than me, He looks older and really acts older than he is, even his interests. I look younger than I am, and I have a young spirit so I guess we meet in the middle.

I feel that my ex Husband took away a lot from me, even the dream of having 2 children. Now I am 47, would love to have another baby, but I feel its too late, physicaly I still can but society sees it as bad and also the fact that my BF is younger than me is a factor in society.

 

So my question is, would you give it a try? do you care about society?

by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 10:50 PM
Replies (21-30):
lageise
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I wouldn't care what society thinks, but I wouldn't have a baby at 47.  Too many health risks for you and the baby.  That is just my opinion though.  If you really want another baby I would recommend talking to a doctor and/or a genetic specialist.

littlemrsd
by Bronze Member on Jan. 28, 2013 at 6:35 PM

I think you should talk to your doctor, if he says its ok. Go for it! If not, look it to adoption. Good luck! 

Gmgej
by Michele on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:19 PM

My SIL had a baby at the age of 50, she did have problems but was monitored closely and in the end she has a beautiful healthy little boy whom we all adore. With this said she does struggle with keeping up, at 54 she should be looking at the good side of retirement and when that time rolls around she will just be looking at the start of college. There is much to consider but what society thinks isn't one of thoes things.

Mrsfarr
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 7:22 PM
Who. Gives. A. Flip. About what other people say and think? Your life, your desires, do what is good for you. If you can afford a baby and are in a good place for it, go ahead.
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NinaFL
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 8:02 PM

 

We have talked about marriage but I have told him several times its not the right time, if it was his choice
we would be married by now. I guess I am holding back beacause Im afraid? everything seems so good I am like waiting for something to happen, like too good to be true, but at some point I am going to have to let it go and just concentrate on being happy, its so difficult when you lost everything before.

As for soccer games, I do now, my BF plays in a soccer professional team, I wont miss a practice or a game as I am into sports as much as he is.

Quoting Lindalou907:

Has the new guy proposed marriage yet? If he's got no biological children I can see why you'd want to do that but it's harder the older you are, that's for sure! I'm 54 and I can't really imagine going to teacher conferences and soccer practices again and doing all I did in my 30's and 40's.


 

MMerrill
by Melissa on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:10 PM
1 mom liked this

It's not about what is socially acceptable, it's mainly about health.  If you are willing to take the risks for yourself and for your baby, then go for it.  The chance of having a baby with genetic abnormalities would be extremely high.  Not that having a baby with special needs is the end of the world, but it's definitely not the easiest route to go.  You'd have to see a high risk doctor and go every week to every two weeks.  You'd have to see a genetic counselor.  The list goes on...but it's not unheard of.  Just know what you may be getting yourself into.

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NinaFL
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 11:27 PM

 I know I had a very healthy baby girl at 40...


Quoting MMerrill:

It's not about what is socially acceptable, it's mainly about health.  If you are willing to take the risks for yourself and for your baby, then go for it.  The chance of having a baby with genetic abnormalities would be extremely high.  Not that having a baby with special needs is the end of the world, but it's definitely not the easiest route to go.  You'd have to see a high risk doctor and go every week to every two weeks.  You'd have to see a genetic counselor.  The list goes on...but it's not unheard of.  Just know what you may be getting yourself into.


 

tharealty2
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:39 AM

I would adopt.

tharealty2
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 1:40 AM


Quoting NinaFL:


We have talked about marriage but I have told him several times its not the right time, if it was his choice
we would be married by now. I guess I am holding back beacause Im afraid? everything seems so good I am like waiting for something to happen, like too good to be true, but at some point I am going to have to let it go and just concentrate on being happy, its so difficult when you lost everything before.

As for soccer games, I do now, my BF plays in a soccer professional team, I wont miss a practice or a game as I am into sports as much as he is.

Quoting Lindalou907:

Has the new guy proposed marriage yet? If he's got no biological children I can see why you'd want to do that but it's harder the older you are, that's for sure! I'm 54 and I can't really imagine going to teacher conferences and soccer practices again and doing all I did in my 30's and 40's.



i definitely would not be discussin having a baby with him if you do not feel you are ready to get married to him.

NinaFL
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:46 AM

What I was tring to say and maybe came out the wrong way is that he did ask and we talked about it but at that time I was afraid I guess, but now we are solid and I feel good with him.

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