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More pics of my forever angel

Posted by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:34 PM
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  I will not be sharing pics of him when he was first born. Even over 18 years later those pictures are hard for me to look at. Plus i know we have some moms on CM that have babies that are fighting for their lives as he did when he was first born. And i would hate to add any more hurt to those moms.

1 mth old..First time home from the hospital. He was only home for 3 days before he got a life thratning infection known as RSV. To healthy  babies it's just a cold,but for him it almost took his life SEVEN times.

1 month, and me at 19 years, WOW

This was his 3rd day home.Three seconds after i snapped this picture his apnea monitor went off. I couldn't get him breathing again and a ambulance had to be called.

1 year old. Was such a happy day for anyone who loved him. We were told he wouldn't make it to his first b-day.

The lady holding him was his second teacher ever. She is now like a mom to me. She's been there for me and my family since he was 9 months old. She was the one to cut the umbilical cord when my daughter was born and my daughter is named after her.

Because of his sensory issues he DID NOT want to touch that cake. It took him almost a hour just to touch it. But he did finally eat it.

2 and a 1/2 mths. His second time home from the hospital.I hadn't planned on Bottle feeding. I pumped for 3 weeks while he was NICU,but my milk supply refused to hold up until he could suck. Yet that is breast milk. I had enough to last until he was 3 months old.

His cousin is on the left,3 days old.A normal size baby. He's on the right 2 weeks and 3 days old. He was almost 4 pounds by then.

2 mths with his fav nurse.

3 months still hooked up to a apnea monitor.3 months in a doll stroller.Yes he was that small. He wore newborn clothes until he was 6 months old.

Him with his sister. He was almost 4 and she was 6 months. He was always very protective of his sister.

My little boy sleeping at 3 years after a very rough day.

He was 3 and she was only 9 hours old. I had to rush home from the hospital after having her because the person who was watching him gave him too much of one of his meds and he was literally bouncing off the walls. But once he saw his sister he calmed right down.

7 years. Because he was on and off a ventilator so much during his first two years of life his top 4 teeth got really messed up. First they tried capping them but less than a year later they had to be removed. They didn't grow back for 4 years.

You can imagine how upset i was when i seen this. He had used permanent marker to"put makeup" on her. By the time i  took this picture i had washed her face 3 time and thought it was funny. It took me 3 weeks to totally get it all off.

9 mths, his first halloween.Which i normally don't celbrate but i did for him that year. Not for long though cause he was very scared.

13 months.First time meeting Santa. It was at his school and he knew the guy pretty well so he didn't freak out.

14 mths,first steps.

19 mths

7 years.This is my favorite look of his. When he had this look you knew all he wanted to do was make you happy,7 years old.

I don't know if i shared this one yet. He's 17 here and just got out of his prom.Sorry for all the pics. The last 6 years i haven't been able to share much about him or pics due to laws protecting children in the type of group home he was in. Now i can share as much as i want. To be honest though i wish i still wasn't able to. I would much rather have him alive instead of sharing him with all of you. Please don't take offense to that.One question for anyone that has or knows someone who has lost a child,when will my brain work right again?

 

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:34 PM
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BipolarMom09
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:50 PM

I am SOOO sorry for your loss! I don't know your story, I don't know how he died, I don't know how old he was, etc. I will pray for God to give your heart peace and healing. I can only imagine how hard it is for you, day after day, and I know the pain will never leave. I truly am sorry and wish I could offer more advice or help.

hugs

Huera620
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:40 PM
I am very sorry for your loss. Keep holding on to your memories and let them guide you through life. He will always be with you.
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