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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

our first fight as husband and wife *update*

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Dh is a firefighter. Well today i found out at his new station he didnt put me as emergency contact, he put his mom. Yes this upsets me because i know her, if something were to happen to dh (God forbid) she wouldnt call me or tell me. I told him it upset me and he said he would change it. But im still mad and upset that he would put her instead of his wife. Am i wrong? In my eyes a spouse should be emergency contact not a mother or father after a wedding. When we werent married i didnt really care if he put her as emergency contact on anything. What do you ladies think about this? Am i being whiny and competely wrong?

Update* dh changed his emergency contact. He changed it to me primary, his mom secondary. He said he was just used to putting her on everything and he wasent thinking how important it is that he put someone that answers their phone from unknown numbers. He knows now that not just as his wife im a better choice but because his mom is a teacher and does not answer her phone or texts untill about 5 pm and works in a different town then where he works and it wouldnt be reasonable for her to be somewhere in a quick time limit. Thanks everyone for your advice
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by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Replies (11-20):
ohmandy
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:57 PM

i always put dh, even before we were married he was usually my emergancy contact... my dad is my secondary if i ever need someone else or for ds.

TeamTARDIS
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 11:58 PM

Yeah I would be mad. If something happened to dh I would want to know right away!

DKk0531
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:13 AM
I dont think he did it on purpose and i dont care if shes secondary but she was primary and i wasent even on there and it upset me. It wasent a huge fight. I told him that it upset me.and i thought thats wrong to do that. He said he put her because thats his mom and i said i understand but im your wife. Your wife and kids come before your mom now. He said he was sorry and he would change it to me in the morning and put his mom secondary. And that was that. But im still upset.
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StrawberryCool
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:17 AM
Brandon hasnt tried to put his crazy ass mom for two years.

His mom wouldnt contact me.
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MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:34 AM

he went on automatic pilot and wouldnt you want the parents to be notified first if there was a death, etc?  I would think them telling her would be easier than for you to do it anyway.  Gotta look at the silver lining!  Heck I still have my mom listed as a beneficiary!  Sometimes it is just so difficult to get in contact with the proper department, get the right forms, etc and get it done. 

KimTaylor76
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:37 AM
It's a long shot, but maybe its like at some places they want your emergency contact to be someone who doesn't live in the same house? Probably not. I don't know why he'd do that, it is weird and I'd be a little upset too, I don't know if I'd be upset enough to start a fight over it but I'd definitely ask about it.
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carinsmommy
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:52 AM

 It depends, sometimes they ask for an emergency contact who does not live with you. In this case his mother would be a natural choice.
However if it was just emergency contact then it should be you.

polkaspots
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:11 AM
I'm glad he's going to change it. If something were to happen, you should be the one notified.


Quoting DKk0531:

Yes i would. I have my own car and i live maybe 15 mins from the station and about 2 mins from the closest hospital. His mom works about an hr from the station. She wouldnt be able to rush. I would.




Quoting polkaspots:

In an emergency would you be able to rush to him? I only ask because I don't drive so in an emergency situation, I would get called and then I would have to call someone else, most likely his parents. But you're right. It should be you.


I put my dad as my emergency on my medical stuff because my husband always comes with me to the doctor.


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tiredmama42
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:06 AM

No he should change it.  I work in HR and I find it weird when people list others on their emergency cards.  I usually mind my own business but I have asked a couple times.  One was because his wife dont drive.  (still think she should be first call)   I always think I would be mad in that situation.  Needs to break the mama strings. 

ashleighmama
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I think your spouse should be your 1st emergency contact. I would be mad too.
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