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I'm afraid I will never marry...

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:37 PM
  • 29 Replies

I'm 27 and have 2 beautiful boys. I recently ended a 4 year relationship with the father of my children because we had a hard time getting along and he never made a real commitment to me (proposal, or even a promise ring) Now I'm afraid I never will find anyone that I love who I want to marry and wants to marry me. It is important to me that I have that commitment sometime in my life. It seems every single man around my age either is divorced with several kids or is afraid of commitment like my ex was. All the good guys are taken! I feel that I wasted too much time waiting for my ex when I should have realized he would never commit to me and moved on a long time ago before having kids with him and before aging as much as I have. Maybe I'm being negative because I am still upset about the break-up, but this has really been bothering me and I'm getting pretty depressed. Posotive words would be appreciated.

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
unsuspected
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:46 PM
4 moms liked this
I know its not much consolation but I hope your story touches someone here because there are so many just sitting around waiting for a commiment from some guy who has no intention to make it.

At least you have stood firm for yourself and taken hold of your life to move it in the direction you've envisioned.

I'm sorry for the pain and worry you have right now but 27 is in no means old or past your prime. :-)
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Armywifeholcomb
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:49 PM
2 moms liked this
I know the feeling my DD's dad was like that along with being lazy and not listening to what I had to say or doing whatever he wanted anyway. I had felt like a single mom while living with her dad.
Don't give up, you'll find the one! Just live your life. Go out with the girls. Be a good mom. And when you find a good guy don't worry about whether he has kids too, I never expected that I would fall for a guy with 4! Focus on you and your boys, and don't just search out a man, you can find one without even looking!
Good Luck momma!
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1smartcookie
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:52 PM
4 moms liked this

You are YOUNG. I didn't get married for the first time until I was 28... had my first child at 30... somehow managed to stay married to that jerk for 13 years before getting divorced... and then found the love of my life, got remarried and - get this! - had a surprise baby at the "ancient" age of 42. My point: there are good men out there, men with no prior marriages, babies, baby mama drama, etc. You just have to be patient enough to stop looking and let it happen. Worked for me.

emarin77
by Bronze Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Maybe you are looking in the wrong place for a man.  I met my husband online.  I was married at age 30 and started looking when I was 25.  There are lots of men in the see that are looking for that special person.

shinybright
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:03 PM
3 moms liked this

27 is young!  I remarried at the age of 50!  Ask me how that happened, lol.  Seriously, find ways to enjoy life, enrich your children's lives, discover spiritual faith, in other words, rebuild YOUR life - live life how you want to!  When you are happy and content and your children are settled despite the changes in their life, someone special will notice you when you least expect it.  Love taps you on the shoulder, it doesn't stare you in the face.  Be kind to yourself, develope interests, focus on your children, you have a whole, wonderful life to lead - being the captain of your own ship is not such a bad thing!  Good luck to you! 

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Did you make any moves to propose to him?

nicole2884
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:53 PM
Hugs everything your feeling is normal

I felt like you did. There's no good. Men had just broken up with another jerk 6mths later i met dh an he is amazing

An you have kids so whats wrong with divorced men just because their marriage didn't work doesn't make them bad guys
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KyrinM
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:05 PM
1 mom liked this

Sweetie, you are still young.  I met the love of my life after my 18 year marriage failed at the age of 38.  It is completely possible.  You are still very young yet.  Don't toss men to the side if they have children from a previous relationship, so do you, & you want a man who is still very involved with his children or even a single father, because that shows commitment right there.  Not all the good ones are taken, a lot of great guys get overlooked, mine was.  Here was this loving, sweet guy & everyone who met him immediately slapped him into the friend box, because he was too shy & not conventionally their idea of good looking.  When in reality, he is very handsome, & not so shy once he knows you well.  You just had to see the diamond in the rough.  So when you are ready, look for the quiet ones hiding shyly in the corners.  :)

hollydaze1974
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Darlin, I found my prince at 34 with my 8 yr old boy " in tow"
I wasn't looking.... I was just wandering a sight. His profile said " not looking for anything right now" and i was like " great ! no pressure!"
in less than a year and half we married.

You'll find your prince.... Just... Honestly, stop "looking". Enjoy your children, watch them grow some.... Get your bearings. Be "free" for awhile. He'll show up...,when you aren't paying attention :-)
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AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I think you should give yourself time to heal sweetie.  It's perfectly natural to have these doubts and feelings that you're having at a time like this.  Good things happen when you least expect it though and you'll find your prince charming..  Probably the minute you decide you're completely comfortable with being alone for the moment.  That's what happened with me!!  :)

I was going through my divorce and I thought that I would never ever get my happily ever after.  A few months later I met "him".  And several months down the road we started dating, then he proposed and in a whirlwind we were married.  We'll celebrate 9 years next month!  :)

Have faith sweetie and remember to focus on YOU right now!  (hugs)

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