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Ugg Vent

Posted by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:05 PM
  • 3 Replies
Ok first off I love dh more than anything. We have been married 7 years together almost 8. We have my step son who is almost 8, dd#1 is 6 & dd#2 is 9 months. Dh is a trucker who is home hopefully 1 night a week. He was not a trucker when we met/ married. I am a sahm. I do work temporarily as a hair stylist for MIL as all of her hair stylist quit and she hasnt hired more. I only work on saturdays. Dh and I talk on the phone maybe 15 minutes a day. Well I am sick and have been all week. Nothing major just the joys of living in Alabama. Its 70 one day 30 the next. Dh calls today and keeps on that he cant hear me I told him I was sorry but I have a sore throat and cant talk any louder. He gets pissed because I didnt tell him I was sick. He says he doesnt mind talking to me but I waste his time telling him stuff that doesnt matter and leave out important stuff. If I tell him the hum drum day to day stuff like the baby is teething and hasnt slept all week or dd has read 4 books this week with no help or ss got in trouble at school again, he gets pissed because he thinks I want him to do something about it. I am just so tired of this I feel like his maid not his wife. I feel like my purpose is to take care of the kids and cook and clean and pay bills. He comes home and does as he pleases he doesnt do anything for or with the kids. I am just so tired of this. I am beyond grateful that he has a great job and his job is what allows me the opportunity to be a sahm but I feel like it also causes us to fight much of the time.
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by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:05 PM
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shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:12 PM
Aww I'm sorry. My Dh is a trucker as well. Its hard sometimes, but i dont get that attitude from him. He gets frustrated if he can't hear me, but he likes to hear about the everyday stuff. Lol he enjoys giving his two cents about stuff here at home. Maybe you should plan something to do as a family for next tike he is home. Have you tried asking him why he doesn't want to spend time with the kids?

On another note...I am part of a trucker drivers wives group here. The ladies are all really great, I can post or pm a link if you would like it. They may have some more ideas...and lots of sympathy from someone who has been in the same spot.
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xxshelbyxxx
by Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:13 PM
I don't want to sound mean or insensitive because if anything I'm 100% sensitive to your situation. I can't even IMAGINE a relationship like that! It sounds horrible on your end! He doesn't respect you one bit, and it doesn't seem as if he really cares about what goes on with you and the kids when he's not home. Which is weird and wrong for any dad that's away from their families that often, because you'd think he'd love to hear everything that the kids do while he's gone. I'd take this as a serious serious serious warning sign mama. A sign that he's not committed to being a dad or a husband. Just because he works for you to stay home doesn't mean he's good for you and your kids. Young kids need and want a dad that's around, and when he isn't, he should be SO into every little thing they're doing when he DOES come home that one night a week.

I'm sorry but he doesn't sound happy or committed as a dad or husban and I'd have a long talk with him to see if he's willing to change behaviors for your kids, to show he wants to be part of their growing up and being raised.. And if not I'd think about a plan B girly... Please, for yourself. That doesn't sound like love anymore you should never feel like a maid and never feel unwanted or unheard whether it be on the phone or when he comes home
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babybugsmomma
by Bronze Member on Jan. 31, 2013 at 3:17 PM
I too am a truceer wife, married for almost 11 years. My dh is also home one day a week, sometimes 2. I know what you mean. My dh is the same way.

Hubby and I talk all the time. I have learned to let him share his day first an judge his mood by what he says. I then only tell him stuff that won't upset him or stress him out. When it comes to the kids, let them talk to him a tell him about other day. He won't feel like you are accusing him of not being part of the kids life. Hubby used to be mad because he was missing out too much. Also, if something breaks fix it first I you can then tell him or just don't bother to mention it. If he can't help he will stress and get mad. Show him you can take care of his house.

In 5 years of him driving, I have learned alot. Hope this helps some.
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