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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Need help with my troubled marriage!

Posted by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:32 AM
  • 4 Replies

Hello everyone, this is my first post so Ill introduce myself. My name is Lakiya.  I have been married for 3 1/2 years and I have two girls (5 &1) with another little girl on the way March 7 and I am a SAHM.

Now for my problem and question:

Dh has given me the silent treatment for 3 days!! its driving me crazy!

Tuesday we were in marriage counseling. We've been going for months and have gotten little to no progress. Finally I had enough and said, in the counselors office, that we are becoming repetitive and at some point you either have to start making progress or stop wasting time and money.
Everything that the counselor asks my husband to do it was always some excuse as to why he hadn't done it yet. This is stupid simple stuff like getting in the habit of taking out the trash or planning a date for us, spending quality time with me and the kids, and stop neglecting his responsibilities as a husband. After counseling I tried to talk to him and he shut me down several times by basically telling me there's nothing else to say.

Everyday since then the only word he has said to me was hey when he got home from work. He comes home eats and goes to bed ( works 3rd shift). He hasn't even said nothing to our children. He wakes up when they are getting ready for bed. He go eats dinner and then watches tv till its time for him to leave. When he comes up they are sleep so he will kiss them and walk out the door.

It hurts bad but I refuse to go running to him begging him to talk to me. I'm always the one that goes to him first whenever there is a conflict. But what do I do? I'm a SAHM so I'm in the house constantly. He works 3rd shift so its already a lonely marriage. And on top of all of that I'm 9 months.pregnant so the stress is really starting to get to me.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:32 AM
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Replies (1-4):
little.worthen
by Tessie on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:35 AM
1 mom liked this
I'd go to him first anyway. Swallow your pride. It's not a bad thing. Just tell him you wish you'd talk more.
That may be your roll in your relationship. And that's cool. Make the compromise to be that person. You can either do that and have things be good, or stick with your pride and let your marriage fall apart when all the while you could have done something small to help it..
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lsa0919
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:44 AM



Quoting little.worthen:

I'd go to him first anyway. Swallow your pride. It's not a bad thing. Just tell him you wish you'd talk more.
That may be your roll in your relationship. And that's cool. Make the compromise to be that person. You can either do that and have things be good, or stick with your pride and let your marriage fall apart when all the while you could have done something small to help it..

wow wasnt expecting to hear that.  Its frustrating because I am always the one is trying to solve and fix the problems.  Ive tried everything (marriage classes, talking to the pastor, books, etc) and nothing has worked. I really dont feel like this one is on me considering that I did try SEVERAL times to talk to him a got shut down.


little.worthen
by Tessie on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:15 AM

i understand. but you cant just give up. if you put full effort into it then you wont feel bad about it later. it sucks, and i know how you feel, but sometimes you just have to suck it up and do it.

Quoting lsa0919:



Quoting little.worthen:

I'd go to him first anyway. Swallow your pride. It's not a bad thing. Just tell him you wish you'd talk more.
That may be your roll in your relationship. And that's cool. Make the compromise to be that person. You can either do that and have things be good, or stick with your pride and let your marriage fall apart when all the while you could have done something small to help it..

wow wasnt expecting to hear that.  Its frustrating because I am always the one is trying to solve and fix the problems.  Ive tried everything (marriage classes, talking to the pastor, books, etc) and nothing has worked. I really dont feel like this one is on me considering that I did try SEVERAL times to talk to him a got shut down.



CameronsMommy23
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 10:20 AM
I'd give him some space for a few days. Maybe he is thinking things through. After a couple days ask him to sit down and discuss your relationship. Big hugs!!
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