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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

*Update* My anxiety is tgrough the roof and Im sure Im headed for a mental breakdown. *Warning: Adult language*

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I just feel like an emotional wreck right now. So I sent this message to hubby via fb...

Hey babe. I had a question and I want you to know Im not trying to start an argument or anything. But why is it a problem that I want to go out with Kristy and Sam tonight? The times I've brought it up you get a nasty attitude about it. You got the weekend away last weekend and have played hockey a lot while I've stayed home with the kids. I think it's only fair that I get to go have fun with the girls like you get to with the guys. I need a break terribly bad. Im starting to feel like Im headed for a mental breakdown.
Like I said Im not saying this because Im wanting to fight or anything, just wondering...
I love you. Just think about maybe letting me go out with the girls sometime. I need it.

He calls me just a bit ago and says, "So I saw your shit on Facebook. You act like Im such a shitty husband. You go ahead and go out! That's fine. Not sure how you're going to afford it but go ahead!". Then he hung up. What am I doing wrong?? My friend asked me to come to her house for a girls night. It wouldn't cost anything. Why does he get so mad when I try to tell him how I feel. Now our day and night is ruined because I opened my big mouth.




I need a break so fucking bad. I have not had a break from my children since a week ago and it was for three hours. Im envious of hubby because since he plays hockey he is gone 4-5 evenings a week, leaving the house around 7 and not coming home till around 11:39pm. He was gone all weekend last weekend for a tourney. I begged my fil to watch the kids for a few hours last Friday. I've been invited to go out with some girlfriends tonight and everytime I bring it up, hubby gets a nasty attitude about it. Then last night while he was playing hockey I had a HORRIBLE night with the kids. I txtd him and told him I was going out tonight. He txtd me back later saying, "okay??". Then when he gets home he says that he has plans for us and he will talk to his dad about watching the kids. I guess there is something called broom hockey for couples tonight. That's cool. I love spending time with him but doesn't he understand that just like he has his time with the guys I need time with my girls. I had so much fun last Friday. I need some friends really bad. My life consists of spending almost every waking moment woth my kids and hubby. I love my family life but Im starting to lose my mind slowly but surely. And it doesn't seem like anyone understands. I feel like going in my room and crying my eyes out right now. My kids are constantly fighting and tattling on each other.
Sorry this is so long but I need to vent. Im so unhappy at this moment.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (101-104):
hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:23 PM
Tell him he's right because he doesn't have a vagina and ppl with vagina's don't talk to me the way you do.

Sorry that's my knee jerk reaction. He's being a dick. But said " fine, go" so go and don't let it ruin your nite or even talk about him. He is being selfish.....period. I don't ask, I just say going out for awhile, love you guys and am out the driveway before there is time for a fight.
Forgiveness is easier to get than permission
But you should NEED permission anyway.
I hope you went/ go ,

Quoting SuperMom2433:

He believes that when I tell himI want some time with the girls that Im not wanting to spend time with him and dont want to be around him. It has nothing to do with that! Why oh why can't he be understanding like I am. Im so unhappy today.




Quoting stacey1103:

Some times I feel the exact same way. I work from home and only one of my kids is in school. The other 2 are home with me all day. My youngest is so easy, its my middle (he's 3) that drives me crazy and when my oldest gets home, the 2 of them go at it like cats and dogs. It's too cold for them to go in the backyard and play. Hubby works 2 full time jobs and is only home 3 nights a week. But we have an understanding. He gets one night a week for him to go out, and I get one. If my friends aren't doing anything, he tells me just go out and go shopping or something, anything to get out of the house. I'm lucky he's so understanding and knows how hard it is to be home with them. You are going to have to talk to ur DH and let him know u need at least a little time away for a few hours once a week, just to maintain ur sanity.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
247beachbumz
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:55 PM

Sounds like he doesn't trust u out with the girls...or just out....whats he doin w/the boys on their wkends? Sounds like whatever stupid guy BS he's gettin into w/the boys, he's transferring that guilt/insecurity on u.  Have u talked to him and asked him what the problem is? Explained to him that while u love him n love hangin w/him...u need ur girl time too? 

Anryan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:07 PM

so....here goes.  I use to face that kind of reaction and then i would feel horrible so here is what i did.

1. I don't send messages via facebook, ever. They never come out right, they are taken wrong and are way to impersonal.

2. I don't send messages over text unless it is last minute. Same as above, they are just never taken right.

3. I don't ask, i tell.  If i am gonna go out i do a few things....First, i make sure the kids are covered (by whomever) and then i tell the boys "hey i'm going dancing with so-and-so.  I'm leaving at 8 and be home around midnight. David your taking care of the kids, dinner will be ready as usual" etc etc. 

Your a grown up, he is a grown up.  Be respectful, be kind but be adults.  You don't NEED permission to do anything, but you also need to understand what he is ok with and what he isn't and respect that. So if he is not ok with you going out dancing alone, you do something else..make sense?

My boys do the same thing "hey i'm going out with X and will be back X,".  I'm cool with it.  If there is a conflict I handle it, rearrange, whatever and the same with them. 

The key is communication, knowing what is going on with hubby and you and anyone else so that your not ruining someone elses plans.  You know what each other is ok with and you respect that as well.

Good Luck Girl!!!



Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

SassyLaLa85
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 10:07 AM

I am lucky that my hubby encourages me to go out with friends. He has one night a week he goes out. However I would prefer to go out with my hubby and our friends.

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