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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

*Update* My anxiety is tgrough the roof and Im sure Im headed for a mental breakdown. *Warning: Adult language*

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I just feel like an emotional wreck right now. So I sent this message to hubby via fb...

Hey babe. I had a question and I want you to know Im not trying to start an argument or anything. But why is it a problem that I want to go out with Kristy and Sam tonight? The times I've brought it up you get a nasty attitude about it. You got the weekend away last weekend and have played hockey a lot while I've stayed home with the kids. I think it's only fair that I get to go have fun with the girls like you get to with the guys. I need a break terribly bad. Im starting to feel like Im headed for a mental breakdown.
Like I said Im not saying this because Im wanting to fight or anything, just wondering...
I love you. Just think about maybe letting me go out with the girls sometime. I need it.

He calls me just a bit ago and says, "So I saw your shit on Facebook. You act like Im such a shitty husband. You go ahead and go out! That's fine. Not sure how you're going to afford it but go ahead!". Then he hung up. What am I doing wrong?? My friend asked me to come to her house for a girls night. It wouldn't cost anything. Why does he get so mad when I try to tell him how I feel. Now our day and night is ruined because I opened my big mouth.




I need a break so fucking bad. I have not had a break from my children since a week ago and it was for three hours. Im envious of hubby because since he plays hockey he is gone 4-5 evenings a week, leaving the house around 7 and not coming home till around 11:39pm. He was gone all weekend last weekend for a tourney. I begged my fil to watch the kids for a few hours last Friday. I've been invited to go out with some girlfriends tonight and everytime I bring it up, hubby gets a nasty attitude about it. Then last night while he was playing hockey I had a HORRIBLE night with the kids. I txtd him and told him I was going out tonight. He txtd me back later saying, "okay??". Then when he gets home he says that he has plans for us and he will talk to his dad about watching the kids. I guess there is something called broom hockey for couples tonight. That's cool. I love spending time with him but doesn't he understand that just like he has his time with the guys I need time with my girls. I had so much fun last Friday. I need some friends really bad. My life consists of spending almost every waking moment woth my kids and hubby. I love my family life but Im starting to lose my mind slowly but surely. And it doesn't seem like anyone understands. I feel like going in my room and crying my eyes out right now. My kids are constantly fighting and tattling on each other.
Sorry this is so long but I need to vent. Im so unhappy at this moment.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (41-50):
AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:07 PM

Get right close to him..  in his face (not in a rude way) and tell him clearly, "I need time AWAY from this house, from the kids and from YOU!"  

Tell him clearly (shout if it have to) that you're going crazy and you need time away from things to detox from life.  A couple of hours a week is ALL you're asking and it's not that much considering all the free time HE gets!!  

(tight hugs)

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Fuck that.. He would come home to my bags packed and keys in hand telling him BU-BYE honey, time for MY weekend away. 

Seriously. It took me telling hubby that I am going to NYC to see my BFF for him to open his eyes. I packed my bags and left. I came home 2 days later to a hubby who had a taste of everything I did. His questioning my needing a break NEVER happened again. Now, I am going to NYC at the end of March, and he put in his time request for work so he won't be scheduled so he can stay home with the kids. 

You NEED to do something drastic and yes, it may cause an argument, but is how you are currently not worth the attempt? 


SuperMom2433
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Thank you. Its getting really bad now, my mental state that is. I used to be a very patient person and now Im on edge and feeling anxious all the time. Im yelling a lot more. I dont cath myself doing it until its too late. In my message to him earlier I asked him to please take me seriously and really listen to my needs. I hate that he takes things so personal. All I want is girl time. Im really not asking for much. These "me time" trips to the gas station to get his chew or the grocery store to pick up dinner are not cutting it. He's always like, "If you're wanting some time away from the house Ill watch the kids while you go grab dinner". Smh....


Quoting AnGLInterrupted:

Get right close to him..  in his face (not in a rude way) and tell him clearly, "I need time AWAY from this house, from the kids and from YOU!"  

Tell him clearly (shout if it have to) that you're going crazy and you need time away from things to detox from life.  A couple of hours a week is ALL you're asking and it's not that much considering all the free time HE gets!!  

(tight hugs)


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Amber5151
by Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:16 PM
I hope you get what you need. I have to say though, I'm kind of jealous, I haven't had a kid free girls night out in three years, you had one a week ago. It's all about perspective
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
SuperMom2433
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:20 PM
True. However, I didn't post for a comparison or people feeling sorry for me. Just a vent on my situation. :).
With that said, I dont feel that it's fair for my husband to get so many nights and so much time for himself. I feel it should be equal.


Quoting Amber5151:

I hope you get what you need. I have to say though, I'm kind of jealous, I haven't had a kid free girls night out in three years, you had one a week ago. It's all about perspective

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Why?



Quoting Amber5151:

I hope you get what you need. I have to say though, I'm kind of jealous, I haven't had a kid free girls night out in three years, you had one a week ago. It's all about perspective



emarin77
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:32 PM

You need to discuss your feelings with your husband.  You might need to see a therapist too.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:36 PM

 Maybe you can ask a friend to babysit for you

little.worthen
by Tessie on Feb. 1, 2013 at 1:38 PM

this. exactly this.

Quoting furbabymum:

 I've said it once I'll say it a million times, watching his own damn kids isn't optional. At least in my house it isn't.




AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Feb. 1, 2013 at 2:06 PM

That's not time away from the house.  That's completing a chore without children in tow.

Quoting SuperMom2433:

Thank you. Its getting really bad now, my mental state that is. I used to be a very patient person and now Im on edge and feeling anxious all the time. Im yelling a lot more. I dont cath myself doing it until its too late. In my message to him earlier I asked him to please take me seriously and really listen to my needs. I hate that he takes things so personal. All I want is girl time. Im really not asking for much. These "me time" trips to the gas station to get his chew or the grocery store to pick up dinner are not cutting it. He's always like, "If you're wanting some time away from the house Ill watch the kids while you go grab dinner". Smh....


Quoting AnGLInterrupted:

Get right close to him..  in his face (not in a rude way) and tell him clearly, "I need time AWAY from this house, from the kids and from YOU!"  

Tell him clearly (shout if it have to) that you're going crazy and you need time away from things to detox from life.  A couple of hours a week is ALL you're asking and it's not that much considering all the free time HE gets!!  

(tight hugs)



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