Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

*Update* My anxiety is tgrough the roof and Im sure Im headed for a mental breakdown. *Warning: Adult language*

Posted by   + Show Post
I just feel like an emotional wreck right now. So I sent this message to hubby via fb...

Hey babe. I had a question and I want you to know Im not trying to start an argument or anything. But why is it a problem that I want to go out with Kristy and Sam tonight? The times I've brought it up you get a nasty attitude about it. You got the weekend away last weekend and have played hockey a lot while I've stayed home with the kids. I think it's only fair that I get to go have fun with the girls like you get to with the guys. I need a break terribly bad. Im starting to feel like Im headed for a mental breakdown.
Like I said Im not saying this because Im wanting to fight or anything, just wondering...
I love you. Just think about maybe letting me go out with the girls sometime. I need it.

He calls me just a bit ago and says, "So I saw your shit on Facebook. You act like Im such a shitty husband. You go ahead and go out! That's fine. Not sure how you're going to afford it but go ahead!". Then he hung up. What am I doing wrong?? My friend asked me to come to her house for a girls night. It wouldn't cost anything. Why does he get so mad when I try to tell him how I feel. Now our day and night is ruined because I opened my big mouth.




I need a break so fucking bad. I have not had a break from my children since a week ago and it was for three hours. Im envious of hubby because since he plays hockey he is gone 4-5 evenings a week, leaving the house around 7 and not coming home till around 11:39pm. He was gone all weekend last weekend for a tourney. I begged my fil to watch the kids for a few hours last Friday. I've been invited to go out with some girlfriends tonight and everytime I bring it up, hubby gets a nasty attitude about it. Then last night while he was playing hockey I had a HORRIBLE night with the kids. I txtd him and told him I was going out tonight. He txtd me back later saying, "okay??". Then when he gets home he says that he has plans for us and he will talk to his dad about watching the kids. I guess there is something called broom hockey for couples tonight. That's cool. I love spending time with him but doesn't he understand that just like he has his time with the guys I need time with my girls. I had so much fun last Friday. I need some friends really bad. My life consists of spending almost every waking moment woth my kids and hubby. I love my family life but Im starting to lose my mind slowly but surely. And it doesn't seem like anyone understands. I feel like going in my room and crying my eyes out right now. My kids are constantly fighting and tattling on each other.
Sorry this is so long but I need to vent. Im so unhappy at this moment.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:18 AM
Replies (81-90):
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:09 PM

I am sorry. I can understand the feeling of wanting to get out and have adult time. I have been home literally the last 32 days! In that time, I went to the dollar store once, which is only a 2 minute drive away. My SO has been away from work, so it is just me and 5 kids. The older 3 (ages 9,8,6) are in school during the day, and the little ones (3 and 2) are with me 24/7. No one has came by. I actually struck up a conversation with the trash men yesterday! LOL.

My S/O has made some friends out there, he goes out with them, goes shopping, lazes around and doesnt have to deal with kids fighting, homework hell, cleaning messes, etc... I am trying hard to work through the resentment and jealousy right now. 

I hope you get your time out with the girls.

SuperMom2433
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:10 PM
Last night we got invited to a friends bday party. They are doing broom hockey. He would still send the kids with his dad if I went out. Our daughter is 7 and our son is 1.


Quoting MrsRudd:

So he just happened to make plans for the two of you on a night he knew you wanted to go with friends? Also if you do have girl time is he still sending the kids to a sitter? How old are your kids?




Quoting boshs1andonly:

So basically you're giving him what he wants, taking the blame for what happened (for standing up for yourself) and not going out like you planned. And you wonder why he keeps treating you like this? It's because he's found that it's effective in manipulating you. And  he will keep doing it as long as it works. Is there an easy solution where he all of a sudden becomes handson and  understanding over night? No probably not. But it's not likely to happen when you keep rewarding his bad behavior either. 

Quoting SuperMom2433:

I honestly do not feel like going out now. Plus, I feel that since we really do have a sitter we should take advantage. Ill go out with my girls when we don't have a sitter.








Quoting CrazyLife1996:

Screw him! Go out you need the mental break. Don't let him dictate your entire life like this.







Truthfully what do you have to feel bad about? Absolutely nothing! Everyone needs time for themselves including a Stay-at-home-wife/mother dispite popular belief.







Trust me go out and don't think about how big of an ass he is being. He is just continuing to behave this way to keep you from going out. You will feel 100% better so you can be the mom you always strive to be.


















Quoting SuperMom2433:

Im in my room bawling my eyes out. Im seriously mentally worn out. I've had my fill. He called back again and apologized just to continually bitch me out for the message I sent him. Im over this fighting shit. His dad is watching the kids. Im not going out. I can't handle this shit anymore. I feel stupid for ever mentioning anything.












Quoting CrazyLife1996:

At least he is chilling out a little but still he needs to stop acting like a spoiled child.











Have fun tonight you deserve a break.











Tomorrow though be extra touchy and Flirty. When he gives you that funny look of what has gotten into you. Say Hun you have no idea how good it felt just to get out for few hours. Now I'm recharged and relaxed.











This should help him realize you need girl time every now and then too.














Quoting SuperMom2433:

He ended up calling me back and told me that his dad is watching the kids tonight and I should be ready to go out because he doesn't want to see me. Meaning he wants me to go out and have fun. But hes still being a butt.
















Quoting CrazyLife1996:

I would just be ready to go when he gets off work. When he walls in the door say how was your day babe? I'm on my way over to so and so's. I will be home at such and such a time. I have my phone love you and walk out.















You need a break and he needs to stop acting like a spoiled child.


















Quoting SuperMom2433:

Could really use someone to talk to right now.





















Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MCA23
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:20 PM
3 moms liked this

Neither of us really ask.  If we do, it's more a cursory "hey is there anything going on ____ night?  Mind if i go out?"  "nope, have fun."  Bam.  That's it.

I also don't send my husband messages through Facebook.  My brother and his wife handle all touchy subjects via facebook, and I just don't get it.  You're married.  Talk face to face like grownups.

Your husband is being lame.  And you're asking permission like he owns you.  Go.  Get out, have fun, clear your head.  You'll be a better mom and wife for it.  

rstuart66
by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:22 AM

Could you get your mom or some other family members to help you with the kids a few hours?  It sounds like he is too thick headed to understand you need some alone time.  Once you have someone set up tell him you've got the kids taken care of and he's on his own.  If he gets pissed so be it.  

Acid
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:27 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm sorry.

I have no experience with that.

I'd have zero tolerance for him speaking to me like that either.  He'd be sleeping elsewhere until he apologized.

Watching his own children is not something that needs to be be bargained for.  He looks after his own kids  and that's that.

Tell him to man the fuck up and you go out.

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Feb. 2, 2013 at 12:55 PM

My man acts the very same way as your DH does, matter of fact, my SO is on a snowmobile run w/a friend and of course im at home, I actually got to get out last week to meet a friend for coffee and pie - of course, when I did come back not that I wanted too LOL - he didn't have any of the dishes done or our dd put to bed - i chose to go out and so i have to do what should of been done before going to bed - i get up about three hours before he does for work!  why even go out when you come home to disrespect?  i have a feeling they are controlling and like us to be home for them :) GL sounds like we have something in common 

Acid
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:06 PM
2 moms liked this

They are controlling because they are assholes..


Quoting CharlotteRose:

My man acts the very same way as your DH does, matter of fact, my SO is on a snowmobile run w/a friend and of course im at home, I actually got to get out last week to meet a friend for coffee and pie - of course, when I did come back not that I wanted too LOL - he didn't have any of the dishes done or our dd put to bed - i chose to go out and so i have to do what should of been done before going to bed - i get up about three hours before he does for work!  why even go out when you come home to disrespect?  i have a feeling they are controlling and like us to be home for them :) GL sounds like we have something in common 



Only when the last tree has been cut down,
Only when the last river has been poisoned,
Only when the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.

— Cree Indian Prophecy

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:10 PM

So did you ever go out??? 

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:29 PM

 No advice but ((hugs))

Due9
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Your husband needs to grow up. I wouldn't be asking him, I would tell him.."I am going out and get over it."

Do you go out alot? Does he have trust issues with you? If not, he has no reason to be so pissy about this

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)