Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does he trust you 100%? (S/O from my last post)

Posted by   + Show Post
Hubby just sent me a txt that says...
"I love you too. I don't want to lose you or have you cheat on me. Odd dream last night."
My reply...
"You should know me better than that."
I replied with that because that's how I feel. We have known each other for 10 years, been together for 9.5 years and married almost 8 years. Its not like we have only been together it married for a short time. Makes me sad because I trust him and know in my heart he would never cheat on me. With his feelings of mistrust comes a problem. I can't have a social life outside my family. That's basically what Im getting from all of this. That if I do get a social life going Im going to have a husband at home worried that I won't come home. And the worst part? I've never given him any reason not to trust me. Im a faithful wife and worthy of his trust. I hate this!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 4:41 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:39 PM

 My answer off title only:

Yes except with money. He calls me his little embezzler.

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 6:44 PM

 Many people have trust issues. It just take time

by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:22 PM

My husband trusts me 100%.  That's why I love him so much. :) We both have friends of the opposite sex and hang out with them regularly... 

by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
We trust each other implicitly.

In fact over Christmas a lifelong BFF of mine was visiting from another state and HE came and picked me up and we went out for a drink and apps. My husband was home woth the kids and kissed me goodbye. No issues whatsoever. No reason for mistrust.

And "a dream" is a ridiculous excuse.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Bella on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:02 PM

 Yes, we both 100% trust each other. I would be very annoyed if my husband didn't trust me or was insecure without a reason.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 1:07 PM

Yes, absolutely. It's a critical part of marriage and we wouldn't have lasted this long (together for 24 years, married for 17) if we didn't. I hope you and he get his issues worked out.

by Silver Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:30 PM
Awwww don't say screw it. Talk to him :( tell him that it's ok to feel vulnerable at times, that's what makes us feel human. It doesn't mean we don't trust our partner. There will be times in our marriages like it or not that we are jealous, lets admit it. Times we worry. Lets be honest.

But to say screw it, that's not healthy. Love him and en outage healthy communication. Let him know that his dream was a dream. Remind him of tour faithful love and devotion for X amount of years. And reassure your love and admiration for him.

I had a horrid upbringing as well. My mom left us as kids. My dad beat me and tried to kill me died when o was 16 and I was homeless. I love that my husband didn't turn his back on me and stuck it out. It wasn't easy but he encouraged me to learn to trust. To learn to be free and let him be free. Most of all he HE learned to male compromises to make mw feel comfortable.

Good luck

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

So he's super insecure and taking it out on you. This is an easy diagnosis. He doesn't want you around your girl friends because he's jealous and scared that if you talk to them about your marriage they will turn you against him. He's insecure and jealous so he tries to guilt you into staying home to feed his ego. He knows his faults as a husband, but he's terrified that someone else will point them out to you. You'll never get him to counseling for that reason.

This is a situation that will never get better. I've been waiting for 12 years for a situation like this to get better. I just started saying screw it, and quit letting him make me feel guilty. I stopped letting him win.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 2:36 PM

My husband trusts me and still says things like this. It is his fumbling way of saying he can't imagine life without me.

by Marianne on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:00 PM

 I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My DH was cheated on by his GF before me. They were together 4.5 years and his confidence was at an all time low. I had to work really hard to prove to him he could trust me, and sometimes even now, 7 years later, I'm still working on it. It's not exactly that he doesn't trust me, because he knows that I would never do anything to hurt him, it's more that he just doesn't have the confidence to believe someone could be loyal.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 4:10 PM

Well at least he is sweet about his insecurity. My Dh makes stupid snide remarks about how I have millions of admirers or friends or shit about how I can get "help" when I need it. Super passive aggressive and annoying. I should just flat out tell him, that after being married to him I have absolutely zero interest in any men....yeah.... 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)