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Do i just not turn him on anymore or could he have a problem?

Posted by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
  • 68 Replies

 Soemtimes when me and dh are having  sex he'll all of a sudden go soft and we will stop, of course its upsetting to me cause i feel like he just isnt truned on by me anymore. and then other times we will start fooling around to have sex and he wont even get hard at all and which is very frustrating. like last night he was the one who wanted to have sex and started things up but he never got hard so we just quit, he said i'll just get u in the morning,  wth!!! he hasnt always had this problem it probably started happeinging more in the past few months. i cant talk about it with him cause he just gets mad if i do. i just dont know what to do with it.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
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Replies (1-10):
icn_mom
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:45 AM
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I think his anger may come from embarassment. If he did not want you anymore in that sense, he would not be the one to initiate the fool around to begin with.. it sounds more like a medical issue to me... Just talk to him about the fact that you are concerned, not irritated or feel its "you" that is the problem.

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:57 AM

 well last night his reason was it didnt seem like i was interested so he lost interest. which is bull cause i was interested in it

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:10 AM
1 mom liked this

could be stress.

girl, your married to him, if you can't talk to HIM about this problem, who can you talk to about it?

my point is, he might get upset because he might feel embarrassed but communication is important in a relationship, not just marriage, and you can't just ignore the problem because it will only get worse.

GL!!

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:14 AM

 i try to ask him why and he just gets really irritated with me, especially if i ask him if its me. he will start yelling at me and everything. and then of course thoughts go in my head like if hes getting it from somewhere else or something

Quoting vinalex0581:

could be stress.

girl, your married to him, if you can't talk to HIM about this problem, who can you talk to about it?

my point is, he might get upset because he might feel embarrassed but communication is important in a relationship, not just marriage, and you can't just ignore the problem because it will only get worse.

GL!!

 

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:15 AM
1 mom liked this

sounds like he is just trying to cover up what the real problem is.

talk to him.

my SO has a temper on him because that doesn't prevent me from communicating with him. I just pick a time where he is in a good mood or not grouchy and talk to him then.

don't be afraid of talking to him.

tell him that there seems to be a problem and we are married and when one of us has a problem we should try to discuss this and come to a conclusion together because we are partners and we are here to help each other out when we can.

he might feel ashamed or afraid that you will laugh at him or put him down in some way.

don't do that. you have to be supportive.

Quoting nyomilooney:

 well last night his reason was it didnt seem like i was interested so he lost interest. which is bull cause i was interested in it


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renae87
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:18 AM
There could be many different reasons: medical, exhaustion, affair, stress,or personal issues just to name a few. Try talking to him when he is in a good mood and get to the underlying reason. Let him know its nothing to be embarrass about because things happen. Good luck hun!
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ttc1rainbow
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:24 AM

 Is your DH a drinker at all? I had this problem with my husband last year, and after a few talks (Yes, he got angry but out of being ashamed he couldn't perform) but we talked, sucked up his anger and agreed this had to be dealt  with. Anyhow, turns out it's because if we try to have sex after he's had, idk, more than 2 beers....he has a difficult time with arousal. So, he cut back on drinking and all is well. Just an idea.... GL hun

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:25 AM

 if im not acting like a porn star its not good enough for him, its happend several times, him losing his hard on in the middle of things. just makes me feel like im not doing a good enough job

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:25 AM

let me ask you this:

the whole time you two have been together, has he ever giving you reason to think that he has been unfaithful?

maybe just ask him if there is anything he wants to talk about?

ask him if YOU should be worried and if your marriage is in jeopardy.

because honestly, if you continue to push and ask him questions he is going to take it as you nagging and harping on him and that's going to push him even farther away. 

maybe try to be patient and let nature take it's course.

and in about 1-2 weeks, if he hasn't said anything to you by then, then confront him about it.

it could be something as simple as he doesn't want to discuss it because he is embarrassed so then just give him his space.

if he feels that it's something to be concerned about he will let you know.

Quoting nyomilooney:

 i try to ask him why and he just gets really irritated with me, especially if i ask him if its me. he will start yelling at me and everything. and then of course thoughts go in my head like if hes getting it from somewhere else or something

Quoting vinalex0581:

could be stress.

girl, your married to him, if you can't talk to HIM about this problem, who can you talk to about it?

my point is, he might get upset because he might feel embarrassed but communication is important in a relationship, not just marriage, and you can't just ignore the problem because it will only get worse.

GL!!

 


Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:26 AM

 no hes not a drinker, hardly ever does. if he does he maybe has one beer

Quoting ttc1rainbow:

 Is your DH a drinker at all? I had this problem with my husband last year, and after a few talks (Yes, he got angry but out of being ashamed he couldn't perform) but we talked, sucked up his anger and agreed this had to be dealt  with. Anyhow, turns out it's because if we try to have sex after he's had, idk, more than 2 beers....he has a difficult time with arousal. So, he cut back on drinking and all is well. Just an idea.... GL hun

 

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