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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Do i just not turn him on anymore or could he have a problem?

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 Soemtimes when me and dh are having  sex he'll all of a sudden go soft and we will stop, of course its upsetting to me cause i feel like he just isnt truned on by me anymore. and then other times we will start fooling around to have sex and he wont even get hard at all and which is very frustrating. like last night he was the one who wanted to have sex and started things up but he never got hard so we just quit, he said i'll just get u in the morning,  wth!!! he hasnt always had this problem it probably started happeinging more in the past few months. i cant talk about it with him cause he just gets mad if i do. i just dont know what to do with it.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Replies (41-50):
Jessica0930
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 5:31 PM

Does he watch porn when you are not around or when you are? That could also cause an issue. Also being unfaithful would be another thing you may want to talk to him about. Also could be a medical problem. He will have to open up and talk first before you guys can do anything else tho.

widowedmomoftwo
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 6:26 PM

he needs to have his testosterone levels checked....

MADMomma1975a
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 7:00 PM

It could also be low testosterone, or any number of things - tell him it's time for a check up and call and make an appointment for him.  When ever I make appointments for the Dr. they always ask why I'm making the appt - just tell the receptionist that he's having ED issues and you want to make sure there are no underlying health issues that could be causing it b/c he wont talk to you about it.


Quoting hollydaze1974:

It's NOT ways us ! we like think it is, because we women can be quite self absorbed . ( you know it's true!)

Sounds like a stress, anxiety, or medical issue. Don't talk to him directly about it . When was his last full physical? High cholesterol is a major cause of this. As is a heart issue.

I'd just tell him it's time for a full physical, that you want him healthy and a physical is never a bad idea

Has he come home from work overly stressed? Boss on his back? Coworker being hateful or hostile?

Is there something new going on that he may have him overwrought of anxious?

This is NOT you! Don't you dare let him make you think it is!

Here's where I get honest. He isn't to leave you hanging. You are to be taken care of even if he can't. Last nite , the response you should have gone with was , I'm sorry baby, but you have me really excited and I could really use a good release. I need you to finish...,pretty please? With sugar on top?" All in a seductive way....
His inabity to get it up is all him, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. There is something going on mentally or physically with him. If he chooses to be a baby and not discuss it with you, then he is "to perform his husbandly duties" in other ways. Just sayin... He'd expect it from you, right?

Get him to the dr. High cholesterol is a big culprit to ED. A change in diet can change things alot. No, age doesn't matter.



AthenaGrace
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 8:10 PM

I had this problem for a little bit. Either a medical problem, or sex too frequently. How often does he get off? If you count jerking off in the shower and whatnot too he could just be worn out...it happens. Try waiting like a week without any activity, and see if anything changes. 

vlynn.iowa
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Is addicted to porn?  If your behaving that way is the only way for him to be turned on he may be.

He should get a complete physical, they may be some medical issue that is causing the problem and then he is getting frustrated from not being able to perform.


Quoting nyomilooney:

 if im not acting like a porn star its not good enough for him, its happend several times, him losing his hard on in the middle of things. just makes me feel like im not doing a good enough job



jeda1429
by Member on Feb. 2, 2013 at 9:35 PM

I've been having the same problem.... so I can't help you. Really frustrating though.

 

sum1sqt
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:37 PM

Sweetheart,  first and foremost, stop blaming yourself.  You seem to be ready, willing and able.  This is a problem for him.  Does he ever talk about it?  If not, he's in denial.  There could be physical reasons (which is also his responsibility).  Has he been acting strange, evasive, unavailable?  Has he been lying about his whereabouts?  For some reason I'm thinking he might be taking drugs.  This would certainly make him impotent in alot of areas (physical and mental).  Whatever the reason, if this relationship is important to him, he will talk about it and will try to fix the problem.  Unfortunately, you can not fix this.  All you can do is be extremely supportive.  I wish you all the love and luck in the world.  You seem like a wonderful person and you deserve a well rounded love affair.  God Bless, Kelly

nbgg8687
by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 11:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Does he watch porn? That could be the problem if so. Some men get addicted to that fantasy and we can never meet that expectation. 

5PointedHuman
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 2:50 AM

Is he circumcised? 

TwinkleToes25
by on Feb. 3, 2013 at 3:20 AM
Hows ur sex life? Like always n the bedroom, always same positions? It may all b routine after yrs of the same things. Try some toys, lubes, message oils. If ur in the car alone with him. Spring some road head on him. Daytime or night time. The rush of possibly being caught is a big turn on. If new things, sexy pics of u, toys ect dont work it may be a medical issue, or stress or porn addiction..... lots of possibilities
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