Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Do i just not turn him on anymore or could he have a problem?

Posted by   + Show Post

 Soemtimes when me and dh are having  sex he'll all of a sudden go soft and we will stop, of course its upsetting to me cause i feel like he just isnt truned on by me anymore. and then other times we will start fooling around to have sex and he wont even get hard at all and which is very frustrating. like last night he was the one who wanted to have sex and started things up but he never got hard so we just quit, he said i'll just get u in the morning,  wth!!! he hasnt always had this problem it probably started happeinging more in the past few months. i cant talk about it with him cause he just gets mad if i do. i just dont know what to do with it.

by on Feb. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Replies (61-68):
love3if3
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:11 AM
Does he look at porn? He could be not interested bc he's into stuff he sees?


Quoting nyomilooney:

 if im not acting like a porn star its not good enough for him, its happend several times, him losing his hard on in the middle of things. just makes me feel like im not doing a good enough job


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Kari_Noelle
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:40 AM

After reading all your responses I definitely think it is tied to the ex somehow.

Whether he wants her now because she is single or whether they are already doing something...just be careful.

Ask if he is willing to get a full physical, if he is cleared then you know its something else.

KellyNips
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:59 AM

is there a possibility that he might be gay and is just trying to hide it?  you really need to make him talk to you about this -- if he gets angry simply tell him that you don't accept his anger and that if he wants to continue being married to you, that this issue must be addressed.  don't accuse him of anything; simply ask him to tell you what's been going on with his life and see what factors are playing.  you are way too young to be in a relationship like this.  you may have to consider your options if he is not willing to address his issues with you.  good luck.

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:30 AM

 when we first started dating a year and a half ago i did find porn pictures, videos and websites all over his phone and i told him it bothered me so he said he would stop but then about 10 months ago i found a porn site typed in his search engine on his phone and he said someone sent him a porn picture and for some reason it went into his search engine, which of course i didnt believe him and that was while he was at work. he said since then he hasnt looked at anything but even if he was he wouldnt tell me cause he knows i dont like it,so i really dont know.

Quoting love3if3:

Does he look at porn? He could be not interested bc he's into stuff he sees?


Quoting nyomilooney:

 if im not acting like a porn star its not good enough for him, its happend several times, him losing his hard on in the middle of things. just makes me feel like im not doing a good enough job


 

furbabymum
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:33 AM

 Depends. This isn't totally abnormal for my DH and I. He takes medications that impact our sex life in this way. It can be very frustrating. I know my DH is ok talking about it but he still gets mad when he can't perform. So I'd check into what could be causing this medically. My DH does that himself. He even researches it and talks to his therapists for ideas on how to fix it. Very proactive my man. lol

nyomilooney
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:43 AM

 hes not taking any medication or drugs. so i know thats not the problem. and he doesnt have insurance or a doctor so he cant just go the the doctors and he probably wouldnt anyway.

Bertieb
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 12:19 PM

It's not you, it's either medical or his own thoughts about whatever. My DH and I talked this weekend because i he'd rather cuddle up and go to sleep than anything else and he acknowledged it, though didn't know why, which I believe.  I know he loves me he just doesn't have that drive right now. I think his is low testosterone but dont' know when he will accept that and have it checked out. In the meantime, after the talk we tried but he had fear of failure. I'd say that is weighing on your mans mind now on top of whatever else is going on.  Mine has said he will try to do better, I guess I just need to remind him of that until he decides he might need something checked out.

SassyLaLa85
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:17 PM

Sounds like something is bothering him or he is stressed.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN