HELP...DO i listen to my guts or take his word ...what would you do?
Hello ladies i have a dilemma and
asking for some feed back ..when i was 8 years old i had a Lil boyfriend lived down the street from me he was the first boy that ever tried to kiss me he was 9 ...I moved away and didn't see that Lil boy again , until 18 years later , and we ran into each other thru a mutual friend ...and couldn't believe how we had grown, well we exchanged numbers but we were both in some very unhealthy relationships at the time so it was a Lil while before we would make contact again.But when we did we fell in love we came to find out that we had pretty much grown up together but never running across one another knew all the same people and circles , small town (SPOKANE) well turns out we had both got caught up in some baa-ad behavior that would ultimately lead to his arrest,conviction .and sentence of ten years in the federal pen .and that left me to be a single mother of one beautiful Lil boy out here in the cruel world by myself ...without much support from family on his side NONE whatsoever , and on mine a Lil when things were crucial if at all ...so its been him and i against the world for the last eight years and we've been to hell and back.but i wouldn't change it for anything ...over the past eight years i have kept my son in contact with his dad ,(i promised him i would not take his son from him )because although he was not do-in right he still tried to be a good dad and kept me and his kids out of the mess he'd gotten into so over the past eight years(our son was eight months old when he was busted) they have developed a relationship and him and i remained friends although i denied the fact that i was and always have been in love with him and even more now than ever , this man is my twin flame well he was released this nov and decided he doesnt want to come back to spokane he has gotten a job and is still under electronic bracelet monitoring he hasnt seen his boys(he has a fourteen year old son from a previous as well )in eight years and i took them to seattle to see there dad and when i laid my eyes on him i fell in love so hard i cant explain it there are no words and it was mutual well we live in different towns we are planning on moveing up there soon i hope and will be married it makes us both a lil nervous not being able to have each other he seems to be very controlling and overbearing well hes been behaving strangely and my insides say hes been seeing someone his family hates me unjustifiably and in the beginning we were so close now it feels like hes pulled away or is preoccupied with someone or something else my intuition is stronge and ive learned to trust my gut feelings or maybe im just paranoid i dont know but hes staying with his sister who hates me they wont let me and my son come there to visit him which is makeing my son hate his family even more and he hasnt had sex in 8 years i told him he should sow his oats but he told me he wouldnt i thought it would be selfish of me to expect him not to but something inside me lately is telling me hes not being 100% and i know that i have been and will continue to be im about to move me and my child and everything i own someplace we know noone but the few freaks he has to call family i wanna know if anyone has any feedback or should i hire a p.i to check it out first or WhAT ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS
I also do not see a question here BUT, I was in a similar situation. I had a son in 2001, when my son was 2 his dad went to jail, and just got out this past August. And let me tell you from past experience, when a man gets out of jail, he is in jail mentality. You really need to let him adjust to being out in society again before you bring him back into your sons life, I would hate to see him get hurt again like my son did when he got released before. I understand you love him, but you need to think about your son before yourself. He is the one that will get hurt the most.
Quoting MixedCooke:i dont see a question here and as long as he doesnt resume his criminal activity, maybe your love will conquer all.
Yup this
Quoting MixedCooke:i dont see a question here and as long as he doesnt resume his criminal activity, maybe your love will conquer all.
I would follow your heart to the point I would work on it and give the relationship and him a chance, BUT under the circumstances I would do it slowly and cautiously to protect you AND your son. People can change a lot in that amount of time and it could be for the better or for the worse or just in a different direction and even somewhat different personality than when they were younger. So I would treat it like you are starting all over again and take time to get to know him better in person again and just date and if he can prove over time he has straightened out and isnt going to revert back to crime etc and things get more serious then thats fine. Good luck
YVONNE
It sounds like you may already have your mind set on something already. Were you both guilty and he took all the blame? I noticed you said "we both." Did the relationship not continue while he was in prison? And if not... why? My mom had felonies, you usually dont go to prison for misdameanors. Maybe take time, go tot counciling and make sure you have a foundation for the both of you. Make sure you have a plan and a back up plan and more back up plans so that things dont ever go back to the way they were. Just make sure hes ready for a relationship and yourself as well.
Quoting domsmom1026:I also do not see a question here BUT, I was in a similar situation. I had a son in 2001, when my son was 2 his dad went to jail, and just got out this past August. And let me tell you from past experience, when a man gets out of jail, he is in jail mentality. You really need to let him adjust to being out in society again before you bring him back into your sons life, I would hate to see him get hurt again like my son did when he got released before. I understand you love him, but you need to think about your son before yourself. He is the one that will get hurt the most.
When you met your dh/so?
- vebsbaybe
on Feb. 3, 2013 at 11:49 PM