Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since my son was hit and killed by a car. My husband ,who i met when my son was 10, and my daughter acts like nothing has happened. My husband says he has already dealt with it. But i don't think my daughter has. She hasn't talked about her brother since the memorial on Jan.19th. Last week i bought a card for her telling her how sorry i was that she lost her brother and that if she needed to talk i will be there anytime or place. She got mad at me. She said she doesn't want to talk about it,she just wants to forget. She doesn't like that i have a memorial set up in the living room.Yet she asked me, "what's going to happen when I turn 18 and move out? How am i supposed to have Clayton with me?" I wish she would have said something when we had him cremated,because we could have gotten her some ashes too. She's always been a very shy withdrawn girl and this has made it worse. I don't want her to live a depressed life but i don't know what to do. (Counseling is torture to her. We've tried 5 times now. After her older brother hurt her in a horrible way. Dec.2012 ,after 6 months of counseling, her therapist said no more. That it was making things worse than better.So that's not an option.) I know she talks to her friends on warriors.com, so that helps her a little. But i really wish she would talk to me. She says the reason she won't talk to me about it is she doesn't want to see me cry.
I wonder when this pain will get better. I think about him in EVERYTHING i do. Things you would think you wouldn't think about him while doing,i do. Like cooking, eating, showering, going out in public, sleeping, waking up,when i see a boy from birth to 18 years old, etc.......... I know it's only been 3 weeks but i hate this pain. Not to mention i can't find a support group. I know that would help but there's nothing in Korea and the one's I've found on-line either aren't active or they cost. Please lord make this get better soon.