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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How do i ever get through this pain

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 Tomorrow it will be 3 weeks since my son was hit and killed by a car. My husband ,who i met when my son was 10, and my daughter acts like nothing has happened. My husband says he has already dealt with it. But i don't think my daughter has. She hasn't talked about her brother since the memorial on Jan.19th. Last week i bought a card for her telling her how sorry i was that she lost her brother and that if she needed to talk i will be there anytime or place. She got mad at me. She said she doesn't want to talk about it,she just wants to forget. She doesn't like that i have a memorial set up in the living room.Yet she asked me, "what's going to happen when I turn 18 and move out? How am i supposed to have Clayton with me?" I wish she would have said something when we had him cremated,because we could have gotten her some ashes too. She's always been a very shy withdrawn girl and this has made it worse. I don't want her to live a depressed life but i don't know what to do. (Counseling is torture to her. We've tried 5 times now. After her older brother hurt her in a horrible way. Dec.2012 ,after 6 months of counseling, her therapist said no more. That it was making things worse than better.So that's not an option.) I know she talks to her friends on warriors.com, so that helps her a little. But i really wish she would talk to me. She says the reason she won't talk to me about it is she doesn't want to see me cry.

I wonder when this pain will get better. I think about him in EVERYTHING i do. Things you would think you wouldn't think about him while doing,i do. Like cooking, eating, showering, going out in public, sleeping, waking up,when i see a boy from birth to 18 years old, etc.......... I know it's only been 3 weeks but i hate this pain. Not to mention i can't find a support group. I know that would help but there's nothing in Korea and the one's I've found on-line either aren't active or they cost. Please lord make this get better soon.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 1:22 AM
Replies (21-23):
amylovesnick07
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:24 PM
I want to say I am truly sorry for your loss.: ( i can't even begin to know all the pain you are going through. HUGS!!!
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Michelle479
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 11:48 PM

I can not begin to imagine the pain you and your family are feeling. When I was 11 my father passed. It was very hard for me to deal with. It made me very uncomfortable when people wanted to ask me how I was dealing with it or wanted to talk about him. Maybe your daughter could start a feelings journal just for her. It may help her sort out her feelings. I know for my self I was very confused, angry, and hurt just to name a few. It took a long time for me to sort my self out. Art is also a great way to express your self and your feelings. Anyway, my thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time. 

tiredmama42
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:32 AM

My heart just breaks reading this.  As a mother my heart just aches for you.  Your daughter too.. Just be there for each other is the best support you can give her  if she dont want counseling.  Some people are mad at the world during their grieving period.  My thoughts and prayers are with you I wish there was a way to help you feel some peace but I know it takes time.  May God Bless your family through this very tough sad time.

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