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How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

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Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on February 1, 2013 

sexEvery couple is different. It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is, there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.

Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.

It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what? I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.

Having known many couples over the years and having heard some of their intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number. Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is required to keep the magic alive.

Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable, less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any marriage.

Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their "hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he didn't love me or find me attractive.

Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it. If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.

The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.

So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:02 PM

im fine with couple times a month

by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:03 PM
That depends. Sometimes I need it a few time a day, sometimes I need it once a week, sometimes I'd rather go for a while without, a while being about 2 weeks... He'd like it everyday lol
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by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:06 PM

Daily at least. 2-3 times a day would be best, otherwise when we have to go to long from each other we both become cranky and irritable. It makes our business trips hell on each other lol.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:40 PM
I have no idea I know that I like it at least 5 times a day if it were up to me right now I'd like it at least once everyday. I just had dd a month and a half ago and is like it more then 2times a day but ill settle for just once, I'm sure tha will change later when I start to work

Quoting AleaKat:

It die of exhaustion lol

Seriously? How do people do it every day?

My DH leaves me sore for the next 48 hours afterward.

Quoting redrose_12:

Ppl that have sex more then 5 times a week are likely to live longer and ave better relationships
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:43 PM

2-3 times a week at least.

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Daily and most days more than once.

Except this week I am way to sick for sex. But we definitely are getting in a lot of cuddle time.
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:47 PM

i couldnt have sex everyday

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:59 PM
It depends, he wants and needs to be intament almost every day, me on the other hand can take it or leave it. We fight at least once a month over it. I know it's going to kill our marriage but at this point I'm really not careing. We have been together for 16 years now 3 kids later, I think I'm just over it
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by Charlotte on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:01 PM

We go into a pattern some times every night of the week and then every other week.  Depends on how much stress we have going on!  

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:12 PM

Before i got pregnant it was every day sometimes twice, not it's got to be every other day, i wish it could be more but the round ligament pains are killing me...

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