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How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

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Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on February 1, 2013 

sexEvery couple is different. It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is, there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.

Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.

It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what? I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.

Having known many couples over the years and having heard some of their intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number. Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is required to keep the magic alive.

Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable, less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any marriage.

Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their "hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he didn't love me or find me attractive.

Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it. If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.

The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.

So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Replies (21-30):
Kaybean
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:14 PM



Quoting me-n-mygirls:

daily

at least every other day.

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Kaybean
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:16 PM
The longest we've ever gone was 2 weeks after my youngest was born because I had stitches. We waited 2 long weeks and went for it when I finally felt healed enough. Those 2 weeks sucked! LOL.


Quoting KyrinM:

If we don't get to for more than 2 days, we start plotting.  LOL!  Seriously, I think the longest we have gone is 4 days, & we were miserable. 


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mhayes0784
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:17 PM

my bf leaves me sore after sex when we do it also


Dimples303
by Bronze Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:21 PM

2-3 times a week usually... If he didn't work nights we would have sex more often. Night time is the only time we can escape from our 2 year old... Lol

kalejames2010
by Annette on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:29 PM
Same here. He works nights and is only off for 3 days every two weeks. Need to find more time but it is hard with a three y/o and a 5 month old.

Quoting Dimples303:

2-3 times a week usually... If he didn't work nights we would have sex more often. Night time is the only time we can escape from our 2 year old... Lol

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Jessica0930
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:10 PM

once a day. the longest we go is every other day. My husband needs alot of sex hahaha. :) The only time it gets hard is when I am pregnant and I don't feel like it. But other then that whenever is fine with me.

midjet117
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:15 PM

i dunno. Once every couple of days. I wanted some yesterday evening but then by like 11 i started to feel achy and blah. 

MJP76
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:31 PM

Generally speaking once a week, we have 3 kids and places to be, things to do, medical issues to deal with...But generally once a week...

SlightlyPerfect
by Slightly Perfect on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:41 PM

Every other day minimally.

slightlyperfect

KyrinM
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 6:57 PM

I bet, we are TTC right now, so we will eventually find out about that too, but I imagine that time after baby is born will be tough.


Quoting Kaybean:

The longest we've ever gone was 2 weeks after my youngest was born because I had stitches. We waited 2 long weeks and went for it when I finally felt healed enough. Those 2 weeks sucked! LOL.


Quoting KyrinM:

If we don't get to for more than 2 days, we start plotting.  LOL!  Seriously, I think the longest we have gone is 4 days, & we were miserable. 



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