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How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

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Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on February 1, 2013 

sexEvery couple is different. It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is, there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.

Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.

It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what? I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.

Having known many couples over the years and having heard some of their intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number. Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is required to keep the magic alive.

Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable, less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any marriage.

Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their "hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he didn't love me or find me attractive.

Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it. If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.

The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.

So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Replies (41-50):
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:16 AM

 We try for at least twice a week. This way we usually achieve once a week, LOL!
If we don't once a week hubby is very pissy, and I start to get really irritated.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:38 AM

 2-3 times a week. Right now he's deployed so its zero!

by Bronze Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:07 AM

NEED- maybe once a week

For the 1st 20 years we were married, it was 2 times a week,

For the past 1 1/2 years, it's been 4-5 times a week.

However many times a week is fine, but after 6-7 days, we NEED it bad

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:11 AM

When he's home (he's deployed) 1-2 times a day with my period being the only break. It was way worse when I was pregnant and craved him all day long. He liked being able to go to training. lol. But man...this deployment has been the hardest. I can't wait for him to get home.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:31 AM

When and if I ovulate.

by Trica on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:14 AM
We have plenty of sex! Every other day or every other 2 days.
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:21 AM
So true! This pregnancy has been difficult and sex has been extremely painful. We don't get it as often as we would like.
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:58 AM

Both of us would love to be together multiple times a day every day but real life tends to prevent that. We end up with as often as possible. :-) As our 4th wedding anniversary approaches, and I recall all the time we were together prior to getting married, and as I think of all of the difficult times we have faced together - I feel a sense of pride and a sense of joy that we can still be this way about each other. 

in love

"Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother." (Lin Yutang)

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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:59 AM


by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:12 AM

 Need to? Never. There are times when we go a month without it, and we are perfectly fine. Sometimes it is a couple times a week. Just depends.  We do not with hold from one another, but we get busy, tired, and it s just the last thing on our minds. We are still very flirty and affectionate with one another. We steal away for a quick make out in the laundry room,lol. We don't need sex to show our love and affection toward each other. It;s just a fun little bonus when we do.

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