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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

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Married Couples Who Have Sex Less Than Once a Week Are in Trouble

Posted by Sasha Brown-Worsham on February 1, 2013 

sexEvery couple is different. It's something we are all told from the moment we start to consider marriage and babies, and the reality is, it's true. Every couple IS different. We have absolutely no way of knowing whether we are looking at a happy couple or a miserable one from the outside. The truth is, there are rarely any absolutes in life. But there might be in sex.

Married couples who have "sexless marriages" are, indeed, unhappier than those who have plenty of the between the sheets action. But just what constitutes a "sexless marriage"? I know for my husband, if we fall below once a week, he starts to get pissy.

It may sound bad, but it's true. There is a lot of door slamming and whining and "why aren't you paying attention to me?" But you know what? I'll take it. There are worse things that can happen.

Having known many couples over the years and having heard some of their intimate stories, I know that every couple has their magic number. Whether it's once a week or once a year, there is a bare minimum that is required to keep the magic alive.

Once you fall below that number, you start to feel less desirable, less attractive, and generally less. And that is NOT good for any marriage.

Having spoken off the record with a few friends on this subject, I am aware that once a week isn't the norm. But every couple has their "hmmm, why are we not being intimate?" moment. For me, I would start to get antsy around two weeks. I would start to feel neglected and like he didn't love me or find me attractive.

Once you reach that point, there is trouble. And if you go beyond that point? Look out. Sure, there are extenuating circumstances when people get sick or have a baby or travel for work, but in general, even in busy times, couples need to find their magic number and stick to it. If yours is one week like mine, you better find the time to get between the sheets even if it isn't what you want to do at that moment.

The person with the higher sex drive or who needs it more often is the one who wins in this case. Even if you don't feel like it, once you get started, it's usually true that sex is pretty fun.

So figure out your magic number and figure out your spouse's and then make your sex happen that often. Trust me. It will save your marriage.

How often do you and your spouse need to have sex?

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:46 PM
Replies (61-66):
tifbrown
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM

Need? Like every day! But, realistically 3+ times in a set of days off. 

AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:35 PM

Usually we have sex 2-3 times a week.  Sometimes more, sometimes less.  Sex doesn't define our marriage.  It helps us to bond, relieve stress..  it gives us a great workout...  ;)

But our marriage is MORE than sex.  We have a marriage based on FRIENDSHIP and LOVE!

Myruhbel
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 12:39 AM
One to three times a night I think. Lol. He awakens me and I gotta give it up even if Im grumpy otherwise Karma will hit me back.
aprilbutterfl92
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 1:32 AM

If it was up to me i would want it daily, even multiple times a day .
Dh hes okay with 2-3x a week maybe even 1-2xs.

but we compromise and we have sex an awesome 4-6x a week((((((: 

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:25 PM

 We both enjoy sex and have a healthy sex life. We do not put a number on it.

Cutenessmom
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 10:39 PM

Along timee ago  it was  three times a week . Then when I had  my son I was in the Wicu then he was in the Nic and Picu.. we  went  for two years. last thing on our mind. Now we have, sex once or twice a month  it depends.  five times in one day is a troll post.

 

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