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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Need some advice?

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:12 PM
  • 14 Replies

OK long story short my husbands older brother is always complaining about not being able to afford things and trying to borrow money from everyone. He makes more than hubby and isn't responsible with his money. Instead of buying food for his two kids him and his wife by pot several times a week, and about $300 in stuff they are renting from Aarons. 

So he already borrowed $100 (supposed to be for food) from their younger brother and today asked hubby if he could borrow $200. We wont have it until Wednesday and I told hubby that if he lends him the money I will leave. They work together at work and hubby is always having to buy stuff for his brother b/c he doesn't have money and he NEVER pays him back at all. 

I am at my wits end and not sure what to do. 

by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Nunyabusiness
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:48 PM

You'll leave? 

CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:05 PM
I have a sister like this. She thinks it is everyone else's responsibility to support her. My husband said the same thing to me I haven't given her money since.

Still get a weekly sob story of what she can't buy. She tries to guilt me by pointing out I pay our mom's bills and my stepmother's bills so why can't I help her out too.

I finally told her Saturday I was over it. I pay mom's bills because our stepfather has terminal cancer and he has weeks left. I want my mom to spend every moment she has left with him not worrying about work and how she is going to pay for everything. I pay my stepmother's bills because she physically can't work and our dad suddenly past 3 yrs ago. I am not going to treat her like garbage because he is now gone. I have our brother's 3 oldest children plus my 4. College tuition for 5 people plus all of my bills.

I paid for your school so you could become a medical assist and then as a graduation present bought you a car and gave you 20,000 for a down payment on your house.

I an done supporting you. You are 31 yrs old time to put your big girl panties on and learn to do it all by yourself.

I know this might sound like I am being a bitch but I have spent over 100,000 to help her in the past 10 yrs.
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CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I would go and buy them food instead of giving them money or stop it completely.  We both agree family (ours) comes first before anyone else!!! 

EmmasMommy2011
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:09 PM

Yes leave. If his brother would learn how to spend his money instead of waste it he wouldn't need help. We shouldn't have to give him money. He doesn't help anyone else out when they need it. His parents where buying them food when they couldn't hardly afford to buy their own. He only cares about his and his own. 


Quoting Nunyabusiness:

You'll leave? 



MrsJoe125
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:11 PM

 This.


Quoting CharlotteRose:

I would go and buy them food instead of giving them money or stop it completely.  We both agree family (ours) comes first before anyone else!!! 


 

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:16 PM

Nope you are not sounding like a bitch at all!  You have gone well beyond on being a supportive sister! 


Quoting CrazyLife1996:

I have a sister like this. She thinks it is everyone else's responsibility to support her. My husband said the same thing to me I haven't given her money since.

Still get a weekly sob story of what she can't buy. She tries to guilt me by pointing out I pay our mom's bills and my stepmother's bills so why can't I help her out too.

I finally told her Saturday I was over it. I pay mom's bills because our stepfather has terminal cancer and he has weeks left. I want my mom to spend every moment she has left with him not worrying about work and how she is going to pay for everything. I pay my stepmother's bills because she physically can't work and our dad suddenly past 3 yrs ago. I am not going to treat her like garbage because he is now gone. I have our brother's 3 oldest children plus my 4. College tuition for 5 people plus all of my bills.

I paid for your school so you could become a medical assist and then as a graduation present bought you a car and gave you 20,000 for a down payment on your house.

I an done supporting you. You are 31 yrs old time to put your big girl panties on and learn to do it all by yourself.

I know this might sound like I am being a bitch but I have spent over 100,000 to help her in the past 10 yrs.



kidsnme1982
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:17 PM
I know what is like I also have a sister who borrows money last year she found out where I lived and said if I lend her money to pay her fine she would pay me back but never did now I can't even live with myself because it effectied me and my kids I'm a single mother and seems like everytime she needs help is when everyone else is struggling in their own life . If my husband was here it never would have happened but hopefully I learn from my mistakes and not do it again for my kids sake
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CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:22 PM
She thinks because we have more than enough to support all the people we do and can afford so much more that it should not be a big deal to continue to help her out. She also tries to guilt trip me about my nephew not having everything he wants.

My children as well as my nephew have everything they need but definitely don't have everything they want.


Quoting CharlotteRose:

Nope you are not sounding like a bitch at all!  You have gone well beyond on being a supportive sister! 



Quoting CrazyLife1996:

I have a sister like this. She thinks it is everyone else's responsibility to support her. My husband said the same thing to me I haven't given her money since.



Still get a weekly sob story of what she can't buy. She tries to guilt me by pointing out I pay our mom's bills and my stepmother's bills so why can't I help her out too.



I finally told her Saturday I was over it. I pay mom's bills because our stepfather has terminal cancer and he has weeks left. I want my mom to spend every moment she has left with him not worrying about work and how she is going to pay for everything. I pay my stepmother's bills because she physically can't work and our dad suddenly past 3 yrs ago. I am not going to treat her like garbage because he is now gone. I have our brother's 3 oldest children plus my 4. College tuition for 5 people plus all of my bills.



I paid for your school so you could become a medical assist and then as a graduation present bought you a car and gave you 20,000 for a down payment on your house.



I an done supporting you. You are 31 yrs old time to put your big girl panties on and learn to do it all by yourself.



I know this might sound like I am being a bitch but I have spent over 100,000 to help her in the past 10 yrs.





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
xoxRachelxox
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I would tell him that he needs to stop enabling him to mooch off of you. You have a family to take care of. It's not your responsibility to feed his kids.

He needs to grow up and stop wasting his money.

gypsy30
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:32 PM

 Your husband needs to stop being an enabler.  Period.  Not sure I would leave over something like that, but I would definitely try to put a stop to it.

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