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Long back story, but dh has a friend that I don't like as a person, nor trust as a appease my dh, I voluntarily took the high road and offered my friendship three times to her..thinking that perhaps our very first meeting was just a bad one..none of my intensions accepted...
About two months ago we got into a tiff, not a fight just a tiff..he went out that night, drank a few beers, and shot some pool...we live in a small town, so of course the rumor mill went crazy on how dh was there with her...when I found out about he meeting up with her, I confronted him, told him it was not OK for the town to tell me this, regardless if it was platonic...that he should of...
There have been inappropriate text msg sent a long time ago by him, and only when he's been drunk, and has meet up with her for drinks, or just running into each other..he says its "just drunk talk, that he doesn't mean any of it".. I say drunk men tell no lies..and now he knows that being drunk, is not an excuse whatsoever...
Friday night we where talking and he told me that she texted him saying "I'm sorry"..his response was its cool"...then he said to me I know and understand why you're not OK with her I get it....
My question I ask him, 1) what is she sorry for if nothing happen..
2) what's cool?
3) instead of bitching at me about her and singing her praises have you mentioned to her how I've offered friendship numerous times, and have even invited her to parties/bonfires/cookouts..but she doesn't accept, but will come into OUR home to socialize..
4) what exactly do you understand, and what are you cool with....
Or leave it be?
I am not an insecure woman, jealousy IMO, is a wasted emotion, however, what I've read in text from long ago I can not help but feel a bit out of joint...he says, that if he wanted to sleep with her, he could of done so a long time ago..but didn't...she has history of sleeping with married men for sport ( idk if true, but I do know she's had a relationship with a married man, broke up their marriage,,,it was years and years ago, however, she has slept with a married man.....
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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 4:46 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I may be wrong, but it sounds like you wouldn't have a problem at all except that she is unwilling to see YOUR man when you are with him which raises red flags and SHOULD.  Not that he is doing anything but that she is wanting him to do something.  Sounds like she has no respect for your relationship :( 

Quoting nsparky1964:

He also has one fem friends, thats he's asked out for just a beer/bs..she always asks if im with him (most time I am), if by some chance im not, she WONT go ...we are friendly, ive never had issues with her/him/them..she respects him, me and our marriage..
This seriously messes me up, I DONT want to he that wife that dictates whom and whim he can hang with, I have no issue if you respect me/dh/our marriage, but do somethibg shady (both of them) and im not ok

Quoting finlyhappy65:

I agree it's more the respect for you than what he may possibly be doing.  My SO's exwife recently contacted him and he tells me every time she calls him, etc...and she has asked him to come over or go to the bar to hang out and he politely tells her that he's with me and it would not be respectful of our relationship.

by Bianca Lina on Feb. 5, 2013 at 12:06 AM
I would go ahead and voice my opinions/concerns to him in a calm way. Trust ur gut
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