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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

FWB with a married man! Sexual content be aware.

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 I kinda have a sitaution right now that I am really struggling with. My husband and I are happily married. He is awesome in the bedroom and I love him with all my heart. We have a child together and for that and many other reasons I would never ever leave him for another man. I've had a situation come up where a friend from many years ago has expressed an interest in me and I am fond of him.  Problem lies in the fact that he is married and I happen to be friends with his wife and children. He claims that he is happily married too, but something tells me that that is not the case. I've explained to him that I am not a home wrecker and I will never and have no interest in leaving my husband for him. I want this to be purely a sex no strings attached arrangement. Can this be possible with a married man? I am super afraid that he might leave his wife and confess that he wants to be with me and I just can't have this happen. I care for his wife to much to have that happen. Am I playing with fire? I am super confused and would like some advice. I kinda want him to tell me he was just playing around and go back home to his wife where he belongs and maybe just keep this as a friends situation. We have been texting some pretty explicit stuff to each other, but no plans to really hook-up in person as he knows I have family obligations ans so does he. HELP! We have an OPEN MARRIAGE.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:09 PM
Replies (121-130):
JAMom07
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:18 PM
1 mom liked this

 Oh ok, thats great that you and your dh are together on this situation. I think thats a good plan, as long as he remains just a friend (no benefits). Sounds like you have it handled and sorry that I assumed you hadn't talked to your dh.

Quoting isaacsmom2013:

 

My husband knows exactly where I stand with all of this and where my frustrations are. We (my husband and I) both agree that this man is playing with fire and his marriage is on the line. We have decided that we will say nothing to his wife as long as he agrees to leave me alone and just remain friends with no benefits. 

Quoting JAMom07:

You should definately have a sit down talk to your hubby and let him know whats going on.  Explain that you value your marriage too much to do it. Then go have a sit down with your 'friend' and explain that what he wants will never happen. Be strong...good luck

 

Quoting isaacsmom2013:

 

Yeah...I know. I am at the point with him that I just need to be honest and say to him that my friendship with his family is more important to me than having this one sided arrangment. I just could not deal with his marriage ending in divorce because of me. That would break my heart and then I would loose some great frienships and I think I would ended up ultimately mad at him. He just does not get it that I am NEVER going to leave my husband for him. Just not going to happen. I came from a broken home and I want my son to grow up with two parents.

Quoting JAMom07:

So you say you have an open marriage.  You need to bring this up to your dh, he should be the one whom you confess your fustrations to.  Are you both agreeable with an open marriage?  Do you have ground rules that you both have agreed upon?  I can see this situation going under fast and have potential to loose trust in you, a friendship and possibly even your marriage.  If I were you it'd be a no go, no matter how flattered I was. It's never worth it to get involved with a married man

 

 

 

 

 

 

SuperMom2433
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:21 PM
Ummmm....
O_o
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maria1613
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:39 PM

Ugh where to begin? If you're as happy as you say you are with your DH, cheating wouldn't be an option. I have many guy friends that I'm friends with that I have no interest in going any further than JUST FRIENDS with and I don't feel the need to fuck him. If you care about his wife as much as you say you do, you wouldn't even hesitate in telling him, "No". If you and your husband have an open marriage that's fine, but not every couple does. I feel like an open marriage would still have to have rules of some sort in order to work out. Both of you either need to come clean with your spouses and either divorce so you can screw each other OR tell your spouses, end things between the two of you and work on your own marriages.


DUH

isaacsmom2013
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 3:52 PM


His wife doesn't know and I am not sure that he is open to telling her. I was very honest and upfront with him and told him that I have an open marriage and that I would be open to an arrangement if his wife was on board. He exact words were " She won't. Yes, my husband does know this guy very well. I truely believe that he is trying to escape from his current situation and yes you are correct it could get very ugly. He has a lot to lose so I am baffled that he is even considering this. His business, his wife, his kids, his home, etc. I just so badly want to continue to be his friend and if he is having a tough time with his marriage..Just be there for him as a friend and nothing more. 

Quoting Anryan:

I have an open marriage (polyamorous) and my issues with your particular situation are this...

1. Does his wife know you guys are talking this way?  Would she not be ok with it?   If she doesn't know and if she wouldn't be ok with this then it has to stop because it would be cheating. 

2. Does your husband know about this guy?  Even in an open marriage total honesty and communication have to be there or again it is cheating.

3. If you think he is going to get emotionally involved, is his marriage an open relationship?  Emotions can be tricky, ugly things sometimes.  If he isn't happy where he is , then likely (and i don't mean to be cruel) you look like an escape from where he is right now...that never works.

Like i said, i am all in favor of open marriages, swinging, etc. But if you are not letting your husband know this is going on and if the other man's wife is completely in the dark then it is cheating pure and simple and it is wrong on so many levels (even if you haven't hooked up yet).  The texting/emails is where it starts and if he isn't happy where he is, and your interested, emotion will get the best of you and you will make a bad decision. 

Again, if everyone is in the know then more power to you, but if not...STOP before you guys hurt alot of people.

HUGS

Quoting isaacsmom2013:

 I kinda have a sitaution right now that I am really struggling with. My husband and I are happily married. He is awesome in the bedroom and I love him with all my heart. We have a child together and for that and many other reasons I would never ever leave him for another man. I've had a situation come up where a friend from many years ago has expressed an interest in me and I am fond of him.  Problem lies in the fact that he is married and I happen to be friends with his wife and children. He claims that he is happily married too, but something tells me that that is not the case. I've explained to him that I am not a home wrecker and I will never and have no interest in leaving my husband for him. I want this to be purely a sex no strings attached arrangement. Can this be possible with a married man? I am super afraid that he might leave his wife and confess that he wants to be with me and I just can't have this happen. I care for his wife to much to have that happen. Am I playing with fire? I am super confused and would like some advice. I kinda want him to tell me he was just playing around and go back home to his wife where he belongs and maybe just keep this as a friends situation. We have been texting some pretty explicit stuff to each other, but no plans to really hook-up in person as he knows I have family obligations ans so does he. HELP! We have an OPEN MARRIAGE.




CharlotteRose
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The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
Today at 10:16 AM
by Charlotte on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:01 PM


You took the words right out of my mouth......

Quoting Dee0886:

Does his wife know like your hubby? If he's gonna do it behind her back, your both really shitty people.



CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him you will not tear apart his marriage to appease yours or his sexual pleasure. Tell him that all explicit conversations are to end immediately or there will be no friendship.

As of this moment you are having an emotional affair with a married man. The one you are truly hurting is her.

I know for a fact if my husband was having explicitly conversation with another woman I would flip out.


Quoting isaacsmom2013:

Got it, but how do I cut it off and still remain just friends?


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isaacsmom2013
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 4:14 PM

I know I have crossed the line and I am now wanting to go back. Just trying to let him know politely.

BellaByrdie
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:51 PM
Okay you say YOU have an open marriage. Does he have an open marriage. Or does his wife expect fidelity? Because if she does then you ARE a home wrecker if you sleep with him. You will be a home wrecking ho if you sleep with a man who is married and is expected to be faithful.

You just will be. And would you really want to risk that. Do you want to tear a family apart all because YOU have an open marriage. If he is unhappy he should leave. A happy man in a monogamous relationship does not cheat.


Quoting isaacsmom2013:

We have an open marriage. In fact my husband knows about this man.Not worried one bit about my husband leaving me. He has seen every text message this man has sent me.


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butcher
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 5:57 PM

 i dont understand why u wud have an open marriage....let it go. if u do and it gets back to her, u are a home wrecker.

jojo_382
by Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 6:06 PM
what she said and just say look its not going to happen your wife is not okay with this and I'm not going to do it plus I'm sure you care about her feelings very much so don't do it


Quoting anotherandree:

I have a friend that has an open marriage so I kinda get how that works from your perspective.  However, if your friend does not, this can/will end badly for them, regardless.  If they also have an open relationship and you are friends (not even good friends), you should be able to shoot her a text or email just to confirm that this is okay with all parties involved.  If they don't have an open relationship, keep clear.


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