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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

FWB with a married man! Sexual content be aware.

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 I kinda have a sitaution right now that I am really struggling with. My husband and I are happily married. He is awesome in the bedroom and I love him with all my heart. We have a child together and for that and many other reasons I would never ever leave him for another man. I've had a situation come up where a friend from many years ago has expressed an interest in me and I am fond of him.  Problem lies in the fact that he is married and I happen to be friends with his wife and children. He claims that he is happily married too, but something tells me that that is not the case. I've explained to him that I am not a home wrecker and I will never and have no interest in leaving my husband for him. I want this to be purely a sex no strings attached arrangement. Can this be possible with a married man? I am super afraid that he might leave his wife and confess that he wants to be with me and I just can't have this happen. I care for his wife to much to have that happen. Am I playing with fire? I am super confused and would like some advice. I kinda want him to tell me he was just playing around and go back home to his wife where he belongs and maybe just keep this as a friends situation. We have been texting some pretty explicit stuff to each other, but no plans to really hook-up in person as he knows I have family obligations ans so does he. HELP! We have an OPEN MARRIAGE.

by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:09 PM
Replies (141-150):
Lindalou907
by Silver Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 5:21 AM

You have an open marriage, but does he? You need to knock it off until his wife tells you personally that it's ok with her. Listen to your intuition!

vebsbaybe
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 6:10 AM

 are there kids involved have you stopped to think about the heart ache you  could cause its like the butterfly effect     could you look at yourself in the mirror if you caused   the destruction of a family   cut him off and leave it alone   karma is a bitch   ......

jmlmomma
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 12:43 PM
1 mom liked this

I've read everything posted and replies...

THIS ONE STATEMENT THROWS UP FLAGS..... How old is this man? Why NOW? You are saying he raised you like a DAUGHTER but now he wants to screw you and he claims to love you? He is not right in the head... RUN AWAY from all this crap... He is using you to get out of a marriage he may no longer want.... and he is trying to "Live a fantasy"

 this whole thing is wrong on so many levels....

Quoting isaacsmom2013:


Thanks for supporting me during the frustrating and difficult situation. The entire reason for this post was not to get a rise out of anyone. I truly had and have a fever sticky situation that I need to deal with. Its not easy especially when so many close friends are invloved and this man practically raised me from 15 on until I got married. He was a perfect father to his kids and had the utmost respect for his wife. I am not sure what turned in him to approach me like this.

Quoting AndreaJF:


I suppose so yes, but her friend doesn't know about this....whats done is done, and at least she is trying to repair the situation at this point.  I give her credit for that...she was doing something that might cause hurt to someone else, recognized it, and stopped it before it escalated.  Give her a break.

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

She has already been sending sexually explicit messages back and forth with her "friend's" husband. Don't you think that she's already "hurt her like that"?

Quoting AndreaJF:

So, after reading all of the details...you should definetely not do anything with him since his wife doesn't k now about it.  It might really hurt her if she ever found out.  You should just be straight up honest with him, and tell him to stop with the messages and that nothing can ever happen since she is your friend, and you can't hurt her like that.  He will probably back off, and pretend like it never happened after time, since he obviously doesn't want to lose his wife.  Just ignore all the trolls calling you stupid names, and making judgements on you.  Don't take it personal, some people just think it's their job to "fix" everyone, even though they aren't asking for it.


hugs







mama2sqgl
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:11 PM
So how is it going?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
USMCwife0530
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:24 PM
1 mom liked this
This exactly. And also an "open marriage" is NOT a marriage.

Quoting brittney28:

Gross, you have no respect for your marriage or you're husband.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
trailerrrtrash
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:41 PM

Well...I wouldn't do it. You have an open marriage, but he doesn't. I don't think you should mess around with anyone who isn't single or who doesn't also have an open marriage. You should care about your friend's feelings enough not to do it. Not just because she might find out, but because she's your friend.

pristine729
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 8:16 PM
No, you only do it with single men or other puerile in open relationships.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
USMCwife0530
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 9:44 PM
Whoa. Her comment highlighted in red totally made me make a double take. That's just so wrong on so many levels.


Quoting jmlmomma:

I've read everything posted and replies...

THIS ONE STATEMENT THROWS UP FLAGS..... How old is this man? Why NOW? You are saying he raised you like a DAUGHTER but now he wants to screw you and he claims to love you? He is not right in the head... RUN AWAY from all this crap... He is using you to get out of a marriage he may no longer want.... and he is trying to "Live a fantasy"

 this whole thing is wrong on so many levels....

Quoting isaacsmom2013:


Thanks for supporting me during the frustrating and difficult situation. The entire reason for this post was not to get a rise out of anyone. I truly had and have a fever sticky situation that I need to deal with. Its not easy especially when so many close friends are invloved and this man practically raised me from 15 on until I got married. He was a perfect father to his kids and had the utmost respect for his wife. I am not sure what turned in him to approach me like this.


Quoting AndreaJF:



I suppose so yes, but her friend doesn't know about this....whats done is done, and at least she is trying to repair the situation at this point.  I give her credit for that...she was doing something that might cause hurt to someone else, recognized it, and stopped it before it escalated.  Give her a break.


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:


She has already been sending sexually explicit messages back and forth with her "friend's" husband. Don't you think that she's already "hurt her like that"?


Quoting AndreaJF:


So, after reading all of the details...you should definetely not do anything with him since his wife doesn't k now about it.  It might really hurt her if she ever found out.  You should just be straight up honest with him, and tell him to stop with the messages and that nothing can ever happen since she is your friend, and you can't hurt her like that.  He will probably back off, and pretend like it never happened after time, since he obviously doesn't want to lose his wife.  Just ignore all the trolls calling you stupid names, and making judgements on you.  Don't take it personal, some people just think it's their job to "fix" everyone, even though they aren't asking for it.




hugs












Posted on CafeMom Mobile
WesternNYmom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 11:22 PM

If you need to ask, then yes, this is a bad idea?

No1knows
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:12 AM

If you have an open marriage talk to your husband about it. Yes you are playing with fire and this is just asking for trouble if his wife/your friend finds out.

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