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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Thinking of walking away.. Update

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:33 AM
  • 51 Replies

I honestly can't keep doing this any more, I'm starting to hate my husband because of his family. If I could have seen the future before we got married I wouldn't have married him. When we got married I had a little girl, since then we have had a baby. We love our daughters more then anything. I love my husband, when at his best he is amazing. I love him, but because of 3 years of hell at he hands of his family, I feel like I'm not on love with him. Last night was the last straw, his sister told me I was of the devil and god needed to protect her brother and these babies. The have called me every bad name for a women in the book, they have not accepted my daughter, they haven't ever came to see my littlest daughter. They wouldn't tell us congrats over getting married, pregnant or having a baby. They have not treated my oldest daughter well, she is always step or not blood. They have threatened to hit me, they have yelled at me, told my husband he needed to leave me, threaten to call the police because on night my husband left his phone in the car & forgot about it,  His mother left a voice mail saying if he didnt call back with in so many mins she would call them and file a missings persons report, on a an that doesnt miss work. they make fun of me, push there cult like religion on me, blame me for breaking there family up.. The list never ends, I have only see them a hand full of times we live hours away. They have always hated me, the first time they met me was just as bad. I won't bore you with the rest of the story, I think you get the idea. I won't allow my children see them I don't feel safe having them around my children.


So here is the problem, it has ruined my short marriage. I'm broken hearted, depressed, and I don't know where to go from here. My husband says he has to have his family in our lives but it has caused our marriage terrible troubles. He has threatened to divorce me over his family, he has yelled at me, treated me badly because he is so angry and bitter about the situation. I'm lost and confused. The only thing I have to live for is my daughters. My husband and his family have completely shattered my confidence and self worth. I don't know where to go from here, I don't want a divorce. The worst things get the more I find my self thinking of walking. I can't go through another year like this. I need help or advice, I have hit the bottom.. 

I just wanted to update you all. I still feel stuck in the same rut. He is being sweet, at times he wants to stand up for us but I dont think he knows how to go about it. I wish I could give him advice or tell him how to go about it. He swears this is his family and hasn't called his family in almost a week.. I wish we could completely move forward. We talked about it this weekend.. 
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Irene712
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM
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 I am almost on the same position. I am just not married. But you don't need a man!! You only gotta worry about one thing, your daughters!! the most important thing in the world for a mom. If he doesn't give you the place you deserve as a wife then you don't need him. You're his family and sometimes even though you love a person so much you gotta let go for the better. You would be better off without him. Or ya'll can jus take some time apart. Try to have communication with him and if he really loves you he'll try to work it out with you. How i do it, i try to stay as far as possible from my boyfriends family, we have a daughter together but it doesn't mean am stuck with him, i always tell him how much i love him, and to not let his family between us, i try to have as much communication as possible with him so we can understand each other. And keep telling him i don't want talking about each other's family, it's hard but ya'll need to try working it out. If there's love, there's a solution!!

amy31308
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:57 AM
Ugh I feel you. I'm an outcast in his family and it just gets worse and worse. They don't call me names but make it very obvious they don't like me. Had I known what I know now I would have never married him and my husband is nothing short of amazing. But it isn't fair for me to go somewhere and be ignored and in a different room from everyone in tears all night. I'm just so so so over it. I'm not going to divorce him but I'm ready to cut ties with his family.
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huntmom1104
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:58 AM
3 moms liked this

I have beeen in this same situation with my ex husband but things got worse his family kept on and on until he would physically abuse me in front of my son so divorce was my only option...

I would suggest counseling, and if that doesnt seem to help really i cant tell you what to do its a decision only you can make ... Just look at your girls their happiness and your own is what your worried about and if you really want them growing up in that environment..

And please dont let them shatter your confindence and self worth.. I see a loving caring woman who wants to fix her marriage if possible and do the best thing for her girls... I respect you and know that i am praying for you and your family.. Good luck girl :)

MrsShipley21
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:14 AM

 Do you believe in building a foundation? Sacrificing? I believe every marriage should be fought for. It takes time and it is hard at times but who said marriage is a fairytale? Girl take charge of your marriage and get this under control for your family's sake. He has to make sacrifices just as much as you do. He needs to realize he has his own family now. And unless he wants to break up your guys home then he needs to get his shit together and starting putting you and your children first. Stress it to him how this makes you unhappy. If he does does not understand why don't you set up a family meeting with his family involved. Let them now how you feel there intruding. There is always a solution to a problem. You can do this! Were women were strong minded and we put up with allot.

jmlmomma
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:19 AM

I wish I had the answers for you. 

I have not gone through this. With that said....I guess I would just stop talking to them and not let them in my life... If your husband is not willing to stand by you then do it on your own. If he treats you badly because of it. then he is not putting you first... you may have to walk away from this relationship.

gonecrazi
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:23 AM

 (((HUGS)))...I have been in your shoes. A good friend of mine reminded me that when we got married I became his first priority. That it says in the Bible that you leave your families to become one. I would have to put my kids and my sanity first. If he has to have his family I would have to go.

susan115
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:24 AM

Starting taping the conversations, so you can use it in court.  Go for blood.  I am sorry for you, but you are strong, you will make and your girls will be happy.

CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:34 AM
I dealt with the inlaws too. My breaking point I told my husband he could visit his family anytime but the kids and I would not go with him and they absolutely were not welcome in our home again. He chose to cut communication with them as well.

However my husband never became abusive in any way towards me.

If he had been he wouldn't be my husband now. You don't deserve to be treated this way and if you can't get threw to him then I would end things with him.

I'm one of the biggest to say do everything you can to make your relationship work but you are being mentally and emotional abuse by everyone including your husband.

No one should ever have to deal with abuse.
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nicole2884
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:36 AM
My only? Is are they in a position where they cld take your daughter from you
What i mean do they have the money to take you to court an make you out to be a bad mom an take her because i believe your dh well take their side.

Emotional abuse is what your describing
Do you have a support system
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littlemrsd
by Bronze Member on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:42 AM
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No they do not have any money to take me to court. Yes, my family is amazing. I wouldn't know what to do with out them.

Quoting nicole2884:

My only? Is are they in a position where they cld take your daughter from you
What i mean do they have the money to take you to court an make you out to be a bad mom an take her because i believe your dh well take their side.

Emotional abuse is what your describing
Do you have a support system



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