Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

what does this even mean???? (long)

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:55 PM
  • 22 Replies

Totally hate that my first real post is a "vent" but I need to, if not just so i can fall asleep.

I love my DF with everything inside of me. I love who he is and what he represents. He has given up a lot for me, and matured greatly just to be with me, because I was/am that important to him. And I appriciate him so much for everything he does. So why do I have nights like tonight? Is it just pregnancy?

I am so irritated, and most of me doesnt even know why. I had a break down because we didnt have real food in the house and I was so tired of pizza rolls and hot pockets. He suggested talking to my mom about cleaning out the freezer so that we could actually go buy things and have a place to store it. I got mad because my mom cleaned the freezer a week ago and didnt even make a dent in it. I dont even know what she did. So I just swung open the freezer and started throwing everything on the floor. Stil bawling my eyes out because I was so hungry, and knew that going to walmart to get one thing so I could eat would not keep this from happening again tomorrow. I was so tired of going to the store every other day just to get enough for a meal or two because there just isnt room. I knew this was all pregnancy hormones and I was just freaking hungry and wanted to feed my baby. Df was absolutely awesome. As I threw the things on the floor he went through them and sorted meats from snacks from veggies from fruits. So once I got the freezer emptied it was easy to know what I had and could simply put it away. I told him what I wanted, he handed them to me so I didnt have to lean down. He was so patient and so nice. By the time I got done, I had a huge empty section to put frozen meats at when I bought them.

He had made food for himself before my freezer cleaning part of the break down so once I got the freezer filled he ate and went to walmart with me. By the time we started shopping I felt better. I felt a sense of relief and hope. And then WAM! There was BBQ pulled pork all ready to eat. I love BBQ pulled pork, BUT the only BBQ sauce I know I like is honey BBQ. 90% of them out there are too spicy/hot for me. This was honey hickory BBQ sauce coated. I asked him if he thought it would be more spicy than I like. He just kept compairing it to other foods or using other words for hickory and it wasnt helping at all. He loves spicy foods so he doesnt think its spicy at all, but I am so sensitive to them. I got so angry at him for not being able to answer me that I had another break down. He just stayed close to me and was there to talk again when I was ready (He knows that if my break down is from him, not to try to calm me down or hold me. He is to just be there for when I am ready to talk). I knew it wasnt his fault. I called my mom and asked her and she was able to help me, so I then felt better. We continued our shopping with talking and such.

Things were fine. We came home and put the food away, hung out with the parents for a little bit. While I cooked myself food, he started playing a computer game and everything was just fine. I get on here after I eat and read through things, and all is well. Then BAM! 10pm hits and I all of a sudden get upset. Im bored. Hes playing his stupid game again (which I was fine with a minute before). I want to do something and its late and I know he wont be for going to walmart and wondering around, but I absolutely dont want to go by myself. So then he is in trouble. I am upset with him for not reading my mind. BUT I do know its not his fault so I just lay down in bed and close my eyes thinking "maybe if I just fall asleep, Ill be ok." 

20 minutes goes by before he comes to me. He asks me if I am mad at him and I say no (because I knew I didnt have a right to be). He goes out and smokes (Im guesing), comes back, crawls in bed, and goes to sleep. I get no snuggles. He doesnt even tell me goodnight like he usually does. So now, I am awake, wanting to wake him up to scream at him for not even telling me goodnight. He played his stupid game and then went straight to bed. UGH! He gets so upset with me when I wake him and start yelling. But it seems like I dont get angry enough to talk, or I dont feel I have a right to get mad, until he falls asleep. I was upset. He knew I was upset, and he ignored me getting into bed anyways. He never asked what was wrong, just wanted to make sure I wasnt mad at him. He knows I want snuggles when I am upset, and its not at him, unless I am up and doing stuff because of my breakdowns, like the food/freezer incident. Although even then, before the freezer part, he knew to give me a hug and held me while I cried. Thats when he suggested the freezer cleaning. Just ugh ! I hate this. 

Am I just extra cranky at night because Im tired and pregnant? I have horrible pregnancy isomnia. I cant take naps, even when I want to and try. Its almost midnight. I want to wake him, scream and yell at him, and make him stay awake to snuggle me. Is it possible I just hate that he so easily falls asleep and I just lay there for hours, and his has just built up over time? I truely just dont know. I am lost. I hate yelling at him. Especially when he is so perfect to me all day and then its him falling asleep that sets me off. Just grrr. I dont want him leaving me because of this. He has never threatened too, but I feel he has a right, and I think some days I am just waiting for it to happen and I cause a larger fight than neccessary. Just grr. I love him so much.


***and for those of you who dont get it. I guess you are one of the lucky ones who havent had severe pregnancy emotional roller coasters. Good for you. Yes, most of my breakdowns are silly, but doesnt mean they are silly when they are happening. Yes, I am lucky to have him, pretty sure I already stated that. Bed time is the only ime I actually "attack" him, and that is what I am looking for help on. Even when I get mad at him during the day, I am able to rememind myself that it is just pregnancy hormones and it isnt his fault I am mad. It is just something about night time. I dont hit him, I dont throw things at him, I dont call him names, I just yell about how I feel and what I think he is doing wrong. But I promise you just putting me down isnt giving advice or tips on how to help. I was pretty sure this group was meant to share good times and bad, and help when possible.***

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
alaskadreams
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:28 AM
1 mom liked this

Yes it's just your pregnancy hormones.  I wouldn't wake him up.  I know you are frustrated.  Try to relax in a different room.  Tomorrow will be better

soulofsunmama
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:33 AM
4 moms liked this
Good grief.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
preacherskid
by Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:41 AM

It is most likely your hormones.  Are there any other things that are stressing you out, things that could be distanced from you to cut your load?  I would sit down with him at first chance and have a nice long calm talk with him about how you have been feeling.  I am guessing this is your first baby?  It is really overwhelming at first, everything is changing inside you and around you.  Take a deep breath, find something relaxing to do, and enjoy the peace and quiet- in a ew months you will never get that again ;)

anotherandree
by Bronze Member on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:50 AM

Let the poor man sleep, it sounds like he's been through alot! :)  This too shall pass, because it sounds like your hormones are kicking!  My husband had to wrestle me to the ground when I was about 8mo pregnant because I wanted to cut all my hair off when it wouldn't go into a ponytail "the right way."  Seems silly now, but it sure wasn't then!  Try to find something to do (read a book, watch a movie, or something) because this pregnancy insomnia might last awhile and you need to find a way to entertain yourself without waking everyone up.

soulofsunmama
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:53 AM
get your pregnant self outside and WALK, walking clears your head, gets you fresh air, great for you, your body, and baby.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
hollydaze1974
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 12:58 AM
1 mom liked this
It's hormones, and yes,as suggested, don't him up. It's okay to be jealous that he's asleep or somehow mad that he didn't kiss you... But look at it from his poor point if view.... He's watched you have a couple of major meltdown tonite, and knows you were ticked off when you said you weren't.... If he had shown affection at that point.... Could he be absolutely positive you wouldn't tear his head off like a female praying mantis does her mate! :-D

Really! Today you tuckered him out, doll.. Like others have said, go mellow out in another room , I hope you rest, soon, you really WILL make it and he really ISN'T going to leave you.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jesuschild06
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:07 AM

yeah, first baby ! Not sure if there is anything else that is really stressing me out. Besides the little things that I know are from pregnancy hormones, like no food, or not the right food, stupid fish tank, house doesnt clean itself, just silly little things. 

I actually just read through all of our messages when we first started talking and dating. Made me cry and remember why I fell in love with him. Not that I really forgot, but still needed the reminder, despite how wonderful he is now.


Quoting preacherskid:

It is most likely your hormones.  Are there any other things that are stressing you out, things that could be distanced from you to cut your load?  I would sit down with him at first chance and have a nice long calm talk with him about how you have been feeling.  I am guessing this is your first baby?  It is really overwhelming at first, everything is changing inside you and around you.  Take a deep breath, find something relaxing to do, and enjoy the peace and quiet- in a ew months you will never get that again ;)



jesuschild06
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:10 AM

thanks. I have defiantely had breakdowns about my hair. since I got pregnant I have gained a calic! It sucks. Most days, I dont even do my hair. I brush it without looking in the mirror because otherwise I freak.

Its hard finding something to entertain me at night, because I always want him doing it with me. But you are right. I need to find something. Maybe its time to bring out the tape measure, and sissors and start working on the second baby comforter....


Quoting anotherandree:

Let the poor man sleep, it sounds like he's been through alot! :)  This too shall pass, because it sounds like your hormones are kicking!  My husband had to wrestle me to the ground when I was about 8mo pregnant because I wanted to cut all my hair off when it wouldn't go into a ponytail "the right way."  Seems silly now, but it sure wasn't then!  Try to find something to do (read a book, watch a movie, or something) because this pregnancy insomnia might last awhile and you need to find a way to entertain yourself without waking everyone up.



MagicTemptation
by Christina on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:11 AM
1 mom liked this

He was probably tired of the rollercoaster you put him through already today. I know that sounds harsh but it is probably true. He isn't going through the same things as you are with hormone changes affecting emotions. You said yourself he was there for you most of the day when you went on different fits. 

You need to learn to control them. Yes it is hormones, but you are still a grown woman, you can recgonize those urges and feelings for what they are, warn him and then do something to fix it or distract you before it gets too bad. 

jesuschild06
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 1:13 AM

Most days I would love to walk, but it is so cold out. None of my tennis shoes fit, or my boots, and we dont have the money to buy any, so I wear sandals when leaving the house.... in the snow. Taking walks in the snow in sandals does not sound pleasant. And I dont take walks in the dark. Way to scary. I live in the country with no street lights and there are constant break-ins here (people are dumb and dont lock their doors) so I am always terrified one of the burglars are gonna get me !


Quoting soulofsunmama:

get your pregnant self outside and WALK, walking clears your head, gets you fresh air, great for you, your body, and baby.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)