How Long is Too Long to Wait... (Valentine's Day Update)
to get married? He asked me four years ago and we have been together for six years in July. I feel I have been more than patient. I feel it is one excuse after another and I am tired. Yes, we hurt each other and I understand he is trying to get over it but I feel alone while in a relationship and I deserve better. What I mean is he has his own room and Karter (our ten month old) and I share the master bedroom. He is still in the other room because when I broke up with him last summer, I kicked him out of our room. I honestly told him it was inappropriate for us to share a bed when we aren't together. After much protest, he finally left. He asked me a few months ago to try again because he wanted his family and he has been getting signs that we should try again.
Today, I asked him how we would co-parent and financially provide for our son without either one of us struggling. I told him I wasn't mad and he went on and on about how he provides and why he can't continue to do that. Am I wrong for wanting to be married? I have given this man five years of my life and love him with all my heart. He is also getting treated like a husband so I deserve to be a wife. It is much more than a piece of paper to me. Actions speak louder than words and that will prove to me that he is serious about wanting his family by giving me the ultimate commitment.
The first excuse was he wanted a wedding, I don't. I would rather spend that money on buying a home or something else. I am divorced and vowed to never marry again because it was very painful and tough for me. I am crying as I am typing this and want to be with him but only as my husband, I am done shacking up with my child's father. Am I wrong to feel this way? He says he wants to marry me and I feel if he wanted to be my husband, we would be married by now. I am tired of how he is trying to get over things. He hurt me too but I truly forgave him and don't throw it in his face because I am really trying to move forward and understand everyone makes mistakes.
Any thoughts, suggestions, encouragement, etc?
I sent my son to spend the night at my friend's house on Tuesday and gave him my Valentine's Day surprise then. Today, I had beautiful flowers, a card and dinner waiting for me when I got home tonight. This makes my decision so much harder. We had a nice time and hope it continues even if I still decide to move out.
How was your Valentine's Day?