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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

We're growing apart

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:02 AM
  • 15 Replies
They other day I was looking at myself in the mirror nakedand my DH was in the room with me. He didn't even glance at me, but I found out that he's been watching porn. Like these past few weeks he has been so not interested in me. Doesn't look at me hasn't touched me nothing. He always tells me he has things on his mind but he won't talk to me. He spends all his spare time on his phone. I'm trying so hard to be understanding, but I don't kniw what to do
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by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:02 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:09 AM
1 mom liked this
I have a post called putting love first. It is a how to guide to help reconnect. I will bump it for you.

I hope it helps you the way it has help me and others.
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furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm one of those women who are ok with porn so long as my sexual needs are being met. If they aren't being met I'll be pretty unpleasant. I swear I should have been born a guy.

What's he doing on his phone?

To me porn isn't a sign of a guy who is going to stray. It's just how they are imo. I read trashy romance novels and he looks at porn. We still love each other.

Is it stress at work or something else going on that has him avoiding you? I find when my guy is depressed or stressed he just crawls into himself. I have to extracate him with the jaws of life. :P

Anyway, trying reconnecting as CrazyLife said. Do things together. It doesn't have to be huge either. My DH and I would just take short walks and talk some nights.

Have you talked to him at all btw?

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:13 AM

On a side note.......(sorry OP),

What kind of trashy romance novels do you read? I have a ton, but they are mostly supernatural romance.

Quoting furbabymum:

I'm one of those women who are ok with porn so long as my sexual needs are being met. If they aren't being met I'll be pretty unpleasant. I swear I should have been born a guy.

What's he doing on his phone?

To me porn isn't a sign of a guy who is going to stray. It's just how they are imo. I read trashy romance novels and he looks at porn. We still love each other.

Is it stress at work or something else going on that has him avoiding you? I find when my guy is depressed or stressed he just crawls into himself. I have to extracate him with the jaws of life. :P

Anyway, trying reconnecting as CrazyLife said. Do things together. It doesn't have to be huge either. My DH and I would just take short walks and talk some nights.

Have you talked to him at all btw?


ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:16 AM

Other than the phone, has something changed in your relationship? Did you gain weight, has he gained weight, is he under stress from work, did you have a major life change, are you having money troubles? I don't understand why women immediately blame the porn and scream "PORN ADDICTION!" like the people back in the 1600's used to scream "WITCH!". There are a few true porn/sex addicts out there in the world, I'm not going to dispute that, but at least 75% of the time, there is something else going on in the equation that we don't know about on here. Think, there has to be something, and if there isn't, it is possible that you are just having a low self esteem moment and reading too much into things.

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:54 PM

I'm pretty open in what I read. I've read a lot of regency, paranormal/supernatural, mystery, modern day, medieval, etc romances. lol Love Janet Evanovich. Any author suggestions from your own collection?

Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

On a side note.......(sorry OP),

What kind of trashy romance novels do you read? I have a ton, but they are mostly supernatural romance.

Quoting furbabymum:

I'm one of those women who are ok with porn so long as my sexual needs are being met. If they aren't being met I'll be pretty unpleasant. I swear I should have been born a guy.

What's he doing on his phone?

To me porn isn't a sign of a guy who is going to stray. It's just how they are imo. I read trashy romance novels and he looks at porn. We still love each other.

Is it stress at work or something else going on that has him avoiding you? I find when my guy is depressed or stressed he just crawls into himself. I have to extracate him with the jaws of life. :P

Anyway, trying reconnecting as CrazyLife said. Do things together. It doesn't have to be huge either. My DH and I would just take short walks and talk some nights.

Have you talked to him at all btw?



Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:17 PM

 (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 1:46 PM

This might seem like an odd question but.... do you still touch him?   It can be so easy to fall into a rut and often one partner stops doing those little things (like touch) because the other has stopped. 

CharlotteRose
by Charlotte on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:02 PM

Sounds to me like he has become addicted to porn - what do you think? 

mrstchris
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:22 PM
I have tried to talk to his, but he won't talk to me. I know him and there is something going on. I let him know that I am here for him, but he just won't talk to me. Like I can't remember the last time we had sex. He is the one thar told me he feels like we are growing apart. About a month ago he told me that he feels like his penis doesn't work any more. Then said that that happened when he was younger when he got bored with a girl. Then he got a new girl then it was back like new. I've tried to spice things up. I'm just lost.
mrstchris
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 2:26 PM
Quoting CharlotteRose:

Sounds to me like he has become addicted to porn - what do you think? 




No I don't think he's addicted to porn.
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