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At what year did your true self and your partner's true self come out?

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:14 AM
  • 29 Replies

Couples Show Their True Selves After Only 3 Years of Marriage but Is That So Bad?

Posted by Kiri Blakeley on February 8, 2013 

When is the honeymoon officially over? Ah, the perennial question. For some, it never ends. For some, it never starts. But what about the rest of us? A new poll claims that the "honeymoon period" is over after three and a half years. Sheesh. Not a very long honeymoon, eh? After this amount of time, couples apparently start showing some very worrying signs -- preferring sleep over sex, going to bed at different times, eating in different rooms, and gazing adoringly at the television screen instead of at their spouse.

But some other signs that couples are no longer in the "courtship" phase and have moved into the "Who are you and what are you doing in my living room?" phase seem like just normal living together to me. For instance, it's after three years that couples begin showing their true colors. They wear sweats to bed, fart in front of each other, leave the toilet seat up, stop wearing makeup around the house, stop shaving, and begin watching what they want on TV and not giving a crap what the other person wants.

But isn't this what marriage is about?!! You mean you have to keep up that whole charade of pretending to like college basketball AFTER you're married?! You have to continue to hold gas until your stomach hurts?! You have to continue to buy expensive lingerie?!!!

If that's the case, then why not just stay single and at least get the benefit of a new sex partner once in awhile? Dang.

But other things -- well, it's a shame they have to end so soon. Apparently along with the farts and hogging the TV, couples also stop saying "I love you"; aren't excited to spend time with each other; and celebrating Valentine's Day goes by the wayside. If it's that way only three years in, it's gonna be a loooooong marriage.

I say some things you have to hold sacred: Saying "I love you" should be one. Spending time alone, another. I also happen to be big on not watching TV in separate rooms, and eating dinner together when possible. Date nights? Huge!

But other things couples should just accept about each other. If you don't know by year three that your spouse farts, then I can't imagine what kind of partner you're going to make for the long haul. There will probably come a time when your wife or husband has an illness and you'll see/hear some less than pleasant bodily functions. Uh, hello, not to mention childbirth. There's something that will make you realize you're not married to a Barbie doll.

And that's a good thing. That's what real love is. It's not something out of a rom-com or glossy magazine. But if you want to shut the door when you crap, I'd be totally cool with that.

At what year did your true self and your partner's true self come out? What did they do?

by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:14 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Alwayscheerful
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:35 AM
I don't remember.
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ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:36 AM

My husband has always been exactly who he is....and I'm not saying that is a good thing. There were lots of things about my husband that I accepted 11 years ago, but told myself that someday when he got older he would grow out of, or that he'd eventually get tired of. Nope. 37 years old and he still hasn't changed one bit. 

OHgirlinCA
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:38 AM
We have always been who we are. We knew each others' "true colors" right off the bat.
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CrazyLife1996
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 11:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Very few people show their "true character " immediately.

Most people have their personality which is what everyone gets to see.

Once they are fully comfortable with someone then their "true character "finally shows.
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jesuschild06
by Bronze Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:00 PM
1 mom liked this

first day we met in person, or night rather. That was the best night ever. We completely ignored the fact we had never seen eachother before and had only been talking for a few weeks. We shared our fears and desires. We acted silly and serious. We discussed our favorite tv shows, past relationships and what we expect in a relationship. Our pet peeves. It was 5 hours of non stop talking.

He came over wearing skinny jeans covered in cow poo stains, and I was wearing my sweats and a big ol' t-shirt. He went through my 500 movies and was like "dont you watch anything good," because our taste in movies/shows are so completely different. 

He even farted in front of me that night. Pooped in my bathroom. I farted in front of him as well, but up until I got pregnant, they were always silent, so he didnt know :p

When we moved in together 8 months into our relationship, we still didnt hide anything. We have times we watch our own movies/shows in a different bedroom, we take our alone time from one another, sometimes we dont even eat dinner together. We dont always snuggle 24/7 and we definately fight when it comes to our pet peeves. But we have not fogotten our love for one another. We showed our true colors from day one. There was nothing to fall in love with besides who the other truely is. 

I dont fear that our relationship is going to struggle due to the time we spend in different rooms. Because we also eat dinner together when a meal is actually made, we watch atleast one tv show or movie together a day, we play video games together, we still snuggle while we watch our movies sometimes even random periods of times when we are just talking. We still stare into each others eyes and fall in love all over again. I love him. And I know he loves me.

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:09 PM

It was always there, I was just blinded by love goggles and didn't see it. Now that man irritates me and keeps me aggravated.

toybar02
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM
I can honestly say my husband and I have always been our true selves from day one, I didnt like him at first because of his bluntness and his attitude, and there were things he didnt like about me, but we preferred it that way it makes no sense to pretend to be something you are not, im more of the this is me take it or leave it type and he took it and hasnt left it yet lol
MJP76
by on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:12 PM

We have always been honest with one another from the beginning about our "true selves" I guess.

I mean the post kinda implies that people turn into jerks after the honeymoon phase, which isn't always the case, or after a certain amount of time people let them selves go....

idk we've just always been ourselves from the beginning.. We've been together for 17 years and neither one of us has said "what happened to you?"  

Although sex isn't as abundant as it was the first year.. It's because our lives have gotten busier, and more enriched. And our teen stays up as late as we do..lol Doesn't mean we love each other any less, or treat each other any less. 

I have insomnia and still give my husband the courtesy of going to bed when he does.. Typically because we will lay and talk for about 30 minutes before he starts snoring....lol but as far as farting in front of him... Well... That's been pretty much from the beginning. The average person farts 14 times a day. It's unhealthy to keep it in...lol

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:17 PM

 1st marriage when really young late teens we weren't really all real until about a year into and then it was a disaster after that.

LEARNED from that mistake and after my divorce I made sure "I" was REAL and authentic from even before the first date on, including just communicating online and on the phone. One thing I love about Todd and my relationship is we were both authentic and real from the very beginning (we had both learned in our pasts what a mistake it is not to be... then you are in danger of ending up with someone not compatible etc. ).


YVONNE

carinsmommy
by Member on Feb. 9, 2013 at 12:18 PM

 My husband and I have been together since 2003 so 10 years. I'm 23 and he is 25. We kind of grew up together. We have had two children and one more on the way. By now we know everything about each other. But we started dating when we were still in high school. So we have changed a lot. And I think that all couples change through out their relationships. The important thing is to grow together not apart.
We set certain personal things that we do all the time. We always say I love you, even when we are mad. We try not to use negative terms when we argue. We make time once a week to spend time just the two of us. Some times this is sex, some times we talk, other times we watch TV. Through high school, children, stomach flus, college, and more we have grown closer than we ever were. And over the next 10 years I'm sure we will change again.

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