Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

my husband and i have been together since 1997,moved in together 2001, engaged 2003, married 2004, bought house 2007, baby in 2011. DS just turned 2. we might have one more kid but the stress of a child has changed the relationship so drastically its been a heavy adjustment. i've been a SAHM the whole time and got my old job back but am still waiting to be officially rehired. while having DS has been absolutely awesome, me beign the one home and therefore with a stronger bond to our son seems to have caused part of the problem between my husband and i. while we used to talk and joke constantly, we've also always had seperate intrests and groups of friends as well as mutual. we've travelled, gone to tons of concerts, dates etc. anyway being home, i do 90% chores, groceries, errands and childcare. i babysit another toddler twice a week as well. we fight a lot, mostly about these chores etc. the overwhelming problem i feel, though is that he is unhappy, where i am happy in spite of the fighting, i would just like to work it out and get over the issue. he doesn't seem to be getting the joy out of life. i have learned to balance everything and would like him to talk to me and also be romantic. one way i got a response, i noticed was to actually complain about DS when really it doesn't bother me if he is difficult (he is 2 lol) but i knew DH would react. anyone else experience drastic change after child? how did you keep your marriage strong? did going back to work full time even the playing field so to speak?

sarah

by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM
Replies (11-14):
sarahfaith123
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:57 PM

 

i have totally put marriage counseling on the table as well. thanks for your insight. the similar jobs you and your husband have sound cool and certainly an interesting field to both be involved in. yea the 2 year old tantrums can be a big deal to get on the same page so that you're using discipline the same way etc. or he and i have been discussing ways to head off the tantrums before they begin. congratulations on your pregnancy.

Quoting furbabymum:

 We have a 2 year old. 6 months preggo as well. Also married in 2004. The difference is I never stayed home. I don't have the personality for that. Our jobs are in a similar field (he does drug testing and I work for a criminal defense lawyer) so we have lots of things to talk about other than our DS. Not that DS hasn't totally taken over our lives. Our last marriage counseling session was about how we should be handeling DS's tantrums. I guess I'm really blessed in that my DH adores being a father and he's awesome at it. Anyway, keep up your interests. It's important not to give yourself over to the mom role 100%. I'm still me and I still like to do whacky things that give my DH plenty to discuss. ;) Oh, we cuddle a lot. I'm a natural cuddler so he just can't escape it.


 

i.heart.myboys
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:49 AM
We are kind of having a similar issue. We've been together since 2007, had our first 2009, married 2010, had our second 2010 who ended being special needs, we bought our first house 2012. We are so busy with life and all our son's medical issues that I'm so drained when I clean the house, babysit and get the kids together. I am constantly doing doctors appointments and such. It's hard but we try to do dates when we can (haven't had one since breaking dawn part 2 came out).
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JessicaHetzel
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:58 PM

Our marriage never suffered, but I know how it feels about doing all the chores and taking care of the baby. What I do is just try to keep up with the house to make him happy. I love to please my hisband and seeing him happy about a clean house and a home cooked meal makes me happy. SOme girls see this as kissing his ass and not getting anything in reutnr, but that is just selfish talk. My boys' joy makes me the happiest I have ever been. Maybe give him a little surprise? Cook or bake something that is his favorite? I notice when I randomly try to surprise my husband or do cute things it makes him happy.

sarahfaith123
by Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:31 PM

 yes, that must be unbelievable with appointments and the worry that no doubt goes along with medical issues. i agree, the date nights out seem to make things melt away that seem really important when you're home in the house together or alone with the kids etc. thanks for your support


Quoting i.heart.myboys:

We are kind of having a similar issue. We've been together since 2007, had our first 2009, married 2010, had our second 2010 who ended being special needs, we bought our first house 2012. We are so busy with life and all our son's medical issues that I'm so drained when I clean the house, babysit and get the kids together. I am constantly doing doctors appointments and such. It's hard but we try to do dates when we can (haven't had one since breaking dawn part 2 came out).


 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN