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#1 reason we fight - his male PMS

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:15 AM
  • 10 Replies

SO and I have been together since 2004. We have 2 kids together (5 & 6). Our #1 reason we fight is over how we raise the children and his irrational mood swings. He accuses me of babying and coddling too much and I see his reaction to my nurturing ways as totally unjustified.

We both work full-time and when we came home last night from picking the kids up at school, DS was a little whiny after the car ride home. SO flipped out over what is NORMAL 6 yr. old behavior. We get to the house and DD flops on the couch tired and asks daddy for a blanket. He says no - get it yourself, youre not a baby. I interrupt and say she is cold that's why she wants a blanket. Just then DS comes to me to show me a scratch on his arm and asks for a bandaid. Before i even say a word to respond, SO loses it and goes "Would you stop babying and coddling them so much! They act all whiny because you do whatever they want!" 

I swear he is the one who is the big fucking moody baby. How is what I did babying or coddling? I am a mother who loves her kids!!!! In SOs undeserved defense, he is not normally like that but I swear he has male PMS because he can be super moody an irritable over nothing. Ugh.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
alaskadreams
by Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:41 AM

YIKES!  I hear ya-that would be really hard.  I bet it's just because he was super tired but that's still not excuse

justpeachy71904
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 6:26 AM
I think it is time the two of you sit down without kiddos around and discuss plans for parenting. This is sad and not ok in front of kids :(

Try to agree on how both of you want to raise the kids, future expectations etc... And be willing to make a compromise.
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Monica_0812
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 7:04 AM
I understand he was probably tired but that doesn't make it ok. You both work full time jobs so I bet you are tired as well. You need to sit down with him when he's not tired and explain how your kids need that attention from him even if it small little things. At that age they still want to be pamper so as a mother I understand how you feel.

Good luck!!
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i.heart.myboys
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:35 AM
Good luck mama. Sometimes my DH gets frustrated with our 4 year old's behavior that's normal:) Just be patient is all you can ask for and keep reminding him
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vinalex0581
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:41 AM

sounds like my SO...........sometimes.

he thinks that I coddle the kids to much and that i shouldn't.

ugh!

oh well. i tell him that i'm their mom and i'm going to continue to coddle them.

I tell him to get over it.

it pisses me off.

he says that the boys need to learn to do things for themselves.

well as far as i'm concerned, we need to find a happy medium.

as mothers, it's in a nature to nurture, nothing wrong with that.


Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:40 AM

 (((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

ShannaBee
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:42 AM
Sometimes my DH is moody. Hang in there.
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furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:49 AM

 I've sent my DH to his room. No kidding. I told him he wasn't taking his attitude out on us and he can go to his room.

We talk about our DS in counseling so that we are on the same page when it comes to how to handle his different stages and such. Talking about how to handle things is HUGE though.

JessicaHetzel
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:07 PM

I am not saying you don't give him enough attention, but maybe in a way he is jealous and wants more attention from you? That is the only reasonable explanation I can think of.

belleher90
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 5:06 PM

 i agree...i tried this and it worked for us....now i am able to be the nice sweet mom i wanna be and he makes sure they are diciplined and taught how to be helpfull and have manners.....and if the kids do something wrong or act up, and he comes up with some consequences i back him up...i NEVER disrespect or contradict him in front of the kids...if we dissagree on something we talk about it privately......

Quoting justpeachy71904:

I think it is time the two of you sit down without kiddos around and discuss plans for parenting. This is sad and not ok in front of kids :(

Try to agree on how both of you want to raise the kids, future expectations etc... And be willing to make a compromise.

 

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