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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Life Changing Moments with your DH/SO/DF etc

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:11 AM
  • 55 Replies

In honor of Valentines Day lets hear some life changing, amazing moments with your partner(s).  It can be a current partner, a past partner, whatever.....

I can't wait to read em!!!

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:11 AM
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Anryan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:12 AM
6 moms liked this


I didn't know it at the time, but it truly was a heart stopping, life changing moment when it happened.

     Irish was with his previous girlfriend (they also had an open relationship) and they were having problems.  He had told me he was considering breaking up with her because of the issues they were having and i told him that i would step out of his life until he could clear his head and be sure what he wanted because i didn't want to be the reason his other relationship failed.  He said he understood and we went back to being friends and co-workers.  I slowly noticed over about 3 weeks of back to being friends,  and saw each other every day since we worked together, that he was different.  He didn't talk as much, he didn't look up just walked around with this hang dog look about him.  It wasn't contrived, it was just like someone had pulled all the wind out of his sails.  When i would ask him he would give me this look like it was too hard to even talk and walk away.  No smiles, no funny jokes or poking fun at me during the work day like he use to.  Finally he came over to the house one sunday and asked if we could take a walk and talk.  I said sure and off we went.  We got about a block down the road and I remember exactly what i asked and his reaction...I said "why are you such a zombie...your like a body with no soul" and he stopped walking, leaned against a privacy fence, looked at me and said 'och lass, i may as well be one of your beloved zombies, i don't care about life cause your not apart of it.  i have no soul cause it's left my body and lives in your heart as that is the only place i can be with you' and he started to cry.  This massive, male, Irish hunk of all things manly, started to weep like my 9 yr old losing her favorite toy.  I won't ever forget the picture of him sliding down that wooden fence sobbing.  

     I was completely flabbergasted about his feelings for me.  how could I be so much apart of his very being that i affected him on such a profound level.  I was nothing more that ME...no one special, no one beautiful, no one rich and amazing, just me.  I plopped down on the grass in front of him and asked him if us being apart really was what had made him such a shell of who he was, if us not being together really affected him this deeply.  He said that it did and that he didn't know what to do because he understood why i stepped away but he couldn't be away from me and that he was going to leave his GF regardless if i was in his life or not. Not because he wanted to be with me, but because he wanted to be without her...that I wouldn't and didn't affect that decision.

     I was torn because i did love this man and i did want to be with him but i didn't want to take him from someone else, i didn't want to be the other woman....In the span of several heartbeats, my mind was made up....I leaned over and kissed him.  I won't ever forget that kiss, he made this sound like pain and relief all at once...he kissed me very soft and sweet and for what seemed like forever.  When he stopped he said "aye lass, if your gonna kiss me tell me that wasn't the last kiss of my life...tell me it means you won't walk away again and that we can be us and not just friends"..I said yes we were together and it was like someone flipped a switch in him...Back was my goofy, laughing, playful Irish. Back were the jokes and hugs and poking me with random things he found laying around.

     I didn't know it then, but over the following weeks, i realized i had a fairly tale.  I had a man that literally existed to be in my life and to love me and that doing so made him happy.  I have a friend who is as big a Twilight fan as I am (i know , i know, just hush lol) and since i am poly i use to joke with her that David was my Edward and Irish was my Jacob.  David is serious, old fashioned and down to earth...just like Edward.  Irish is funny, full of love and laughter like Jacob...This friend use to always just smile and shake her head...Well, the other day she said something to me that changed that thought process..She said "Irish is just like Edward is with Bella. You are his reason for existing, he lives to protect, love and take care of you.  It is what brings him the greatest joy in his life, your happiness is his happiness and he is only on this earth for you...just like Edward and Bella"...ya know what....she is right  :O)

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

Anryan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:18 AM
4 moms liked this

With David:

It wasn't as "romantic" so to speak, as with Irish in the whole way it played out but for us it was this....

I was in an extremely physically abusive relationship prior to getting together with David. David, me and my ex had been friends for a little over a year and David was aware that my ex was abusive. Well, when i decided to leave finally i moved back to my mom's house who lived about 2 miles from me and my ex's old house.  A few days later i went to get the last of my stuff out of the old house when i thought my ex would be gone.  David was in the army at the time and at work, my mom was at work as well so i went by myself.  When i got there i was shocked to walk into the bedroom and see my ex sitting on the bed.  He was very angry and said "what makes you think i am gonna let you take you stuff and leave"...i was scared shitless. You have to understand this is a man who beat the crap outta me and even shot me once...I took a deep breath, and knowing i was bluffing said "David is right outside and if you touch me he will kill you", praying he didn't call my bluff .. but of course he did he said "prove it" and i said "open the blinds and look for yourself".  My plan was to run as soon as he went to look but he simply reached over and pulled the string on the blinds without getting up and OMG DAVID WAS SITTING ON THE HOOD OF MY CAR!  Just sitting there, smoking a cigerette and looking at the window of the apartment.  He didn't know i was going, he was suppossed to be on base....but there he was.  My ex let go of the string, laid down on the bed and i got my stuff and walked out.  I haven't seen my ex since then.

I asked dave later that day how he knew i was there, he said that he came home because something felt bad and when he realized i wasn't home he just assumed i had gone to my ex's house.  He said he was angry that i had gone by myself and could have gotten hurt but he was gonna wait outside for me instead of causing an issue unless he had to do something.

Boy am i glad he was there

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 Since I was 6 I wanted to be a veterinarian. My whole life was set on that path. All the right classes, got into the right college, etc. So when I married my DH and moved to Japan I naturally got a job at the vet hospital. My first day I fainted dead away while they were putting in a catheter. I was rushed to the ER and had to get stitches. It sucked. The hospital fired me for obvious reasons and I was devastated at the realization that I would never be a vet. I sulked around the house for months in a state of depression. Finally my DH got tired of it and forced me to go get a job. My life changed then but I will always be grateful to him for making me do what I needed to do.

JessicaHetzel
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this

My husband and I had a VERY hard first 2 years of marriage. It wasn't until recently that it got better. But he had to go to the field for a month (he is in the Marine Corps) and the time apart brought us closer together. We talked about our past mistakes within our marriage and I feel like we finally have this whol marriage thing down. Not saying we are perfect because obviously we fight still. But we are so happy and I feel like it is a whole new relationship

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

I really don't have anything to share, but here is a bump for positivity! :-) 


Anryan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Quoting furbabymum:

 Since I was 6 I wanted to be a veterinarian. My whole life was set on that path. All the right classes, got into the right college, etc. So when I married my DH and moved to Japan I naturally got a job at the vet hospital. My first day I fainted dead away while they were putting in a catheter. I was rushed to the ER and had to get stitches. It sucked. The hospital fired me for obvious reasons and I was devastated at the realization that I would never be a vet. I sulked around the house for months in a state of depression. Finally my DH got tired of it and forced me to go get a job. My life changed then but I will always be grateful to him for making me do what I needed to do.




awwww im sorry u werent able to get to be a vet. im a retired vet tech and saw alot of others go thru what u went thru as well.
Anryan
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:48 PM
Quoting JessicaHetzel:

My husband and I had a VERY hard first 2 years of marriage. It wasn't until recently that it got better. But he had to go to the field for a month (he is in the Marine Corps) and the time apart brought us closer together. We talked about our past mistakes within our marriage and I feel like we finally have this whol marriage thing down. Not saying we are perfect because obviously we fight still. But we are so happy and I feel like it is a whole new relationship





thats awesome
JessicaHetzel
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM

Thanks!

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:26 PM

 It's odd but I've helped in surgery and the pig lab, etc. I'm unbothered by any of that. Shove a needle in an animal and I faint over dead. :( It was just the biggest change in my life. I had to change all of my hopes and dreams. My DH was awesome through it all.

Quoting Anryan:

Quoting furbabymum:

 Since I was 6 I wanted to be a veterinarian. My whole life was set on that path. All the right classes, got into the right college, etc. So when I married my DH and moved to Japan I naturally got a job at the vet hospital. My first day I fainted dead away while they were putting in a catheter. I was rushed to the ER and had to get stitches. It sucked. The hospital fired me for obvious reasons and I was devastated at the realization that I would never be a vet. I sulked around the house for months in a state of depression. Finally my DH got tired of it and forced me to go get a job. My life changed then but I will always be grateful to him for making me do what I needed to do.




awwww im sorry u werent able to get to be a vet. im a retired vet tech and saw alot of others go thru what u went thru as well.

 

kalejames2010
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:39 PM
The last paragraph in this made me tear up! I'm so glad you found someone like this because this is how my dh makes me feel, like I am the reason for him to want to be near me and protect me.

Quoting Anryan:


I didn't know it at the time, but it truly was a heart stopping, life
changing moment when it happened.

     Irish was with his previous girlfriend (they
also had an open relationship) and they were having problems.  He had
told me he was considering breaking up with her because of the issues
they were having and i told him that i would step out of his life until
he could clear his head and be sure what he wanted because i didn't want
to be the reason his other relationship failed.  He said he understood and we
went back to being friends and co-workers.  I slowly noticed over about 3
weeks of back to being friends,  and saw each other every day since we
worked together, that he was different.  He didn't talk as much, he
didn't look up just walked around with this hang dog look about him.  It
wasn't contrived, it was just like someone had pulled all the wind out of
his sails.  When i would ask him he would give me this look like it was
too hard to even talk and walk away.  No smiles, no funny jokes or
poking fun at me during the work day like he use to.  Finally he came
over to the house one sunday and asked if we could take a walk and
talk.  I said sure and off we went.  We got about a block down the road
and I remember exactly what i asked and his reaction...I said "why are
you such a zombie...your like a body with no soul" and he stopped
walking, leaned against a privacy fence, looked at me and said 'och
lass, i may as well be one of your beloved zombies, i don't care about
life cause your not apart of it.  i have no soul cause it's left my body
and lives in your heart as that is the only place i can be with you'
and he started to cry.  This massive, male, Irish hunk of all things
manly, started to weep like my 9 yr old losing her favorite toy.  I
won't ever forget the picture of him sliding down that wooden fence
sobbing.  

     I was completely flabbergasted about
his feelings for me.  how could I be so much apart of his very being
that i affected him on such a profound level.  I was nothing more that
ME...no one special, no one beautiful, no one rich and amazing, just
me.  I plopped down on the grass in front of him and asked him if us
being apart really was what had made him such a shell of who he was, if
us not being together really affected him this deeply.  He said that it
did and that he didn't know what to do because he understood why i
stepped away but he couldn't be away from me and that he was going to
leave his GF regardless if i was in his life or not. Not because he
wanted to be with me, but because he wanted to be without her...that I
wouldn't and didn't affect that decision.

     I was
torn because i did love this man and i did want to be with him but i
didn't want to take him from someone else, i didn't want to be the other
woman....In the span of several heartbeats, my mind was made up....I
leaned over and kissed him.  I won't ever forget that kiss, he made this
sound like pain and relief all at once...he kissed me very soft and
sweet and for what seemed like forever.  When he stopped he said "aye
lass, if your gonna kiss me tell me that wasn't the last kiss of my
life...tell me it means you won't walk away again and that we can be us
and not just friends"..I said yes we were together and it was like
someone flipped a switch in him...Back was my goofy, laughing, playful
Irish. Back were the jokes and hugs and poking me with random things he
found laying around.

     I didn't know it then, but
over the following weeks, i realized i had a fairly tale.  I had a man
that literally existed to be in my life and to love me and that doing so
made him happy.  I have a friend who is as big a Twilight fan as I am
(i know , i know, just hush lol) and since i am poly i use to joke with
her that David was my Edward and Irish was my Jacob.  David is serious,
old fashioned and down to earth...just like Edward.  Irish is funny,
full of love and laughter like Jacob...This friend use to always just
smile and shake her head...Well, the other day she said something to me
that changed that thought process..She said "Irish is just like Edward
is with Bella. You are his reason for existing, he lives to protect,
love and take care of you.  It is what brings him the greatest joy in
his life, your happiness is his happiness and he is only on this earth
for you...just like Edward and Bella"...ya know what....she is right 
:O)

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