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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

He wants an answer...but it's not nice and I'd really rather not say.

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:30 PM
  • 27 Replies

So today is our daughter's 10th birthday. I've spent the last month planning and getting everything together. DH suggest making some bingo cards for the party and I didn't say too much when he suggested it two weeks ago. He said he'd make the cards and then they could use something like fruit loops for the markers. Well, he never did it, so today he wanted to go online and find bingo cards then go to his mom's to print them and then go buy special markers. We have less than an hour before people are supposed to start showing up for the party.

I basically said no, the kids would entertain themselves and didn't need bingo. Later he kind of snapped at me and when I asked what was wrong he said that he was just trying to help but everything he suggests I shoot down. The three things he has suggested for this birthday are 1. Go buy red jello and make a "jello" cake. I was already making the cake and needed his help here setting up, not out running around. I did say no. 2. He suggest going to Petco to have our daughter pick out a new fish for the aquarium. Again, I needed his help here. 3. The bingo thing.

I told him I was sorry that I'd made him feel like his suggestions weren't valid or important. He asked me why I do that. The answer is simply--"You plan things, but NEVER follow through in a timely manner. If you want to do something like make bingo cards, you need to do it before the actual day you plan on using them. If you want to have a jello cake, we need to get the supplies before the day of the party. If you want to plan to take extra time to take the birthday girl to pick out a new fish...you need to plan ahead.

I told him I don't know why I do that to him--but he said I do know.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LaLa_Ivory
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:32 PM
.. man id hate to be your husband. you seem a bit controlling.
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Sun_Shine_990
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:37 PM
3 moms liked this
wow. I don't being controling is your only problem. I think you both need to communicate better. I am sorry that you two got into a fight/arugument today of all days but i do think that you two need to learn to communicate and work together better for in the future... Jmo...
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jesuschild06
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:56 PM
3 moms liked this

You need to explain it too him. He is never going to see if it you dont point it out. And when you say no to those kinds of ideas, you need to explain right then that its because you need his help in order to get everything ready for the party (or whatever may be going on). He cannot read your mind.

SuperMom2433
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:00 PM
2 moms liked this
Your poor hubby...
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yikesitsmindy
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:11 PM
2 moms liked this

Wow I can't believe these responses. I agree with you. If he wanted any of those things he should have suggested it more than an hour before the party.

Amberleigh81
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:42 PM
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Uh, yeah. Your husband needs to grow up and learn that ADULTS plan ahead. I can't believe all these women who would let their husbands ruin their daughter's birthday with his poor planning!

You were right ; he was wrong. You may have said things harshly in the moment, but honestly, I would probably do the same thing!
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earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:51 PM
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 I would let him know as gently and caringly as possible bc  he is already hurt, I would thank him for his ideas and let him know they ARE good ideas and the only reason they were a no is because it was too last minute and I NEEDED him here to help now. I would tell him that I'm very sorry if his feelings are hurt and I do value his input and actually so much so that I really want to encourage him to share them and ACT ON THEM ahead of time so that we can use one or more of his ideas.  And that if I came up with a last minute idea I wouldnt be able to use it either.


YVONNE

Gmgej
by Michele on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I am on your side. If your dh wants something he needs to take the reigns and do it instead of waiting for it to be done for him. My dh does the same thing and after 20 some years it is old and I have no patience for it anymore. Time to grow up and be an adult.

LaLa_Ivory
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:26 PM
who said id let my husband ruin a party? lmao!!!

my husband knows how to plan.


Quoting Amberleigh81:

Uh, yeah. Your husband needs to grow up and learn that ADULTS plan ahead. I can't believe all these women who would let their husbands ruin their daughter's birthday with his poor planning!



You were right ; he was wrong. You may have said things harshly in the moment, but honestly, I would probably do the same thing!

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gonecrazi
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:48 PM

 I have one of those too.Gotta while until the last minute to do anything.

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