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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Don't make me say it...

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:53 AM
  • 6 Replies

My ex left me 4 years ago this past Valentines Day. We are still technically married because I figured if he left he should have to pay for the divorce. Well I have been in another relationship for over a year now. My SO is everything I've ever wanted in a man, he makes me want to be the best I can be and I now know what true love is. We talk about getting married all of the time and we are both ready to make that commitment. This weekend when we went to the ER to get SO stitches (he dropped a hunting knife on his leg lol) and he told the doctors I was his DF. This is not the first time he has done that. With that said I am paying for the divorce as soon as my taxes come back. I know SO doesn't feel right asking me to marry him until the divorce papers are official. I have everything filled out and ready for the divorce, just waiting for the cash... It's getting to the point I can't stand it any more, I want to be SO's, I want to wear a ring proudly. Many times I've nearly broke down and asked SO to marry me myself. I understand why he wants to wait but engaged describes our relationship so much more fittingly than dating. I told him last night how close I've come to popping the question myself, he responded with, "Don't do that." We are old fashioned and I know he wants to do the asking. I guess the point I'm getting at is...

Would you find it inappropriate to be engaged before my divorce is final? No one knows my business and that I'm still married on a piece of paper, they just see SO and I and ask when it's our turn to be Mr. and Mrs.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 8:53 AM
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Replies (1-6):
heartagram_girl
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:00 AM

 Personally I would wait till the divorce is final. I cant imagine being engaged while technically still married. However, this is between you and your SO and your soon to be ex. If he finds out you are engaged, he could start a lot of trouble for you.

The ring is just a statement for everyone else. The two of yall already feel engaged. Isnt that enough for now? You can wait just a few more weeks! Then you will be free to shout to the world about how you feel!!

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PrincessButton
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:14 AM

The ex knows it's coming, when I told him I had everything taken care of and now we are waiting on the money to file he asked, "You want to marry that jerk don't you?" I of course said that eventually that was the plan, I was surprised when he responded with, "I can see you are happy, I don't think I ever once made you smile like you do now."

I do technically agree though, thank you! I just need to be told to settle the heck down lol...



Quoting heartagram_girl:

 Personally I would wait till the divorce is final. I cant imagine being engaged while technically still married. However, this is between you and your SO and your soon to be ex. If he finds out you are engaged, he could start a lot of trouble for you.

The ring is just a statement for everyone else. The two of yall already feel engaged. Isnt that enough for now? You can wait just a few more weeks! Then you will be free to shout to the world about how you feel!!



2lilmamas
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM
Quoting heartagram_girl:

 Personally I would wait till the divorce is final. I cant imagine being engaged while technically still married. However, this is between you and your SO and your soon to be ex. If he finds out you are engaged, he could start a lot of trouble for you.


The ring is just a statement for everyone else. The two of yall already feel engaged. Isnt that enough for now? You can wait just a few more weeks! Then you will be free to shout to the world about how you feel!!


AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:30 AM

I would have waited to date again until the divorce was final (I did actually LOL).  But you've been separated for 4 years now, it's not like you're living in wedded bliss KWIM?  The divorce is comeing, it's just taking awhile.

Go ahead with the divorce sweetie, then you guys can finally live your happily ever after.  Everything will fall into place.  :)

amanda81919
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 10:37 PM
I do think its in bad taste to be engaged while technically married. The day after the divorce is final, over and done with. You can be engaged and get married if you feel like it
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MagicTemptation
by Christina on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:38 PM

My ex and I stayed married for 5 years after we seperated. He even moved several states away. We both got engaged while we were seperated.  We didn't want to go through a battle of divorce right after we seperated. We were both hurt and angry with each other, it wasn't pretty. Then when things calmed down it was like having my old friend back. Neither of us pursued the divorce even though we both had moved on. That was mostly because we were finally on great terms with each other, neither of us wanted to screw it up with dealing with divorce papers. Even though we got along great for 2 and a half years, when we finally filed, we went through quite a few fights. 

It is your life, your business. The decision is up to you and your S/O on what you do.

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