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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Could i of been wrong?

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:50 AM
  • 6 Replies

My husband and I have been together for over three years now. We just got married In nov. We have been thru so many ups and downs and always came out swinging on the other side. Ive seen him mad upset down sick happy and etc. I know his foot steps his habbits his likes and dislikes. I know him.

We ran into money problems before we got married which we ended up losing our town home. There was no work for him while he was in school and i was already pulling in so many hours at my job i was pretty much living there. We never fought due to not having money in fact i think it brought us closer. Sharing s pop and making pasta every night bc it was cheap.  We would save all our change and go to the movies or race go karts once a month and red box was our bestfriend.

So when we lost our place his mom and dad said we could live with them. They turned there one car garage into a living space for us. We have all our living room stuff in here and bedroom stuff. My husband got a great job up here and im going to be starting school. and I work also. So now we have money and i see a chance in him. He is always angery saying we dont have enough money ( we are saving to buy a house at the end of the year) and there is a whole new side of him ive never seen before. He is a 28 year old man but he is acting like a spoiled rotten teenager. He flys off the handle about everything snaps at me and his family.. and well the sweet man i knew almost seems like he is gone and a dick head has taken his place. i try to talk to him about it but he says im giving him lip which i am not.

At this point i dont know what to do. Could his family be bringing this out in him. Could i be doing it. Is it bc he had to move his wife into his moms house. I dont know and he wont talk to me. I tried to write to him but he says he is not doing none of this stuff. I recorded him once snapping for no reason and he said im just over thinking everything. Im more happy when he is away from me then i am when he is with me sometimes. I dont know what to think or say any more.. but im kinda of becomeing scared of this new person ive never seen before.

by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:50 AM
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Replies (1-6):
AlannaMaria
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this
He sounds depressed. I'm sure it's a bunch a different things that has him snapping at you. I'm sure part of it is living with his parents, not having your own home and own space. He probably feels like a failure. Hopefully he stops being stubborn and opens up to you and communicates about how he's feeling. I hope things turn around soon. Hang in there.
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anotherandree
by Silver Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

It sounds like he is angry, embarassed, and scared that you guys have only been married for less than a year and have already had to move back in with his parents.  That's a huge blow for a man's ego.  Right after my husband and I got married, he lost his job and we had to move in with his parents for a short time and I know he was crazy embarrassed because he was raised that he needed to be able to support his family.  

I know that you said that you have tried to talk to him, but it sounds like you might have to get a bit more firm with him.  I would tell him that if he is feeling insecure that sucks, but he needs to stop taking it out on you.  Tell him that you are NOT over thinking things and that he needs to be a bit more sensative because it is not the living situation that is killing the marriage, but the way he is treating you.  Sometimes you just have to take a different approach when one is not working.

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 12:53 PM

 Depressed and stressed probably. That doesn't give him a license to take it out on you though. Counseling could help both of you!

ReadWriteLuv
by Casey on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:00 PM

I don't know that I could live with a man who was seriously using the phrase "giving him lip". FFS, you are a grown woman, not a child. I understand that he may not be feeling like the king of the world at the moment, but I fail to see how that is your fault. He doesn't have carte blanche to take his frustations out on you. 

LovingMom973
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM

thank you very much. I think he just feels like he is not taking care of me. and i think he is trying to be a big man but all i want is for him to show love and compassion and not worry about were we live as long as we are together.

LovingMom973
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 11:50 AM

Last Night i opened up to him and told him one last time how i feel felt how i feel i see him and how i feel he is acting. and I dont like to say im going to leave you etc. But i  did say that this new person he is changing into is not the man i fell in love with and married that he is becoming a man i dont even want to share the same bed with no more. I know i opened his eyes to his ways bc i saw a change in his face when i was talking to him. He held me to fall asleep and ( im a light sleeper so when i toss and turn i wake up ) and no matter were my hand was all night he was holding it. I think just being able to write it out yesterday and you ladies saying nice words helped me be able to have one last talk. i hope i start to see more changes back to the man i love 

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