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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage
Dh and I have been together 6 years now, and married for 4(in may). We have a 3.5 year old and an 8.5 month old girls. We go through our ups and downs as I'm sure most relationships do but lately I just don't feel that "fire" between us at all. We had a heart to heart about 2 weeks ago about our relationship and my needs. Things were "okay" for a few days and then back down to the slump. How do you keep things alive? I'm just afraid were going to drift apart...
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by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 8:05 AM
Replies (11-20):
starfire59
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 5:23 PM
  1. Call him with a sexy call
  2. Set your alarm at say 2 am and wake him up
  3. Put a sexy pic of yourself and put in his wallet or pocket
  4. When it's warm weather do a midnight picnic in the backyard
  5. Send him a romantic card in the mail
  6. Give him a special bath
  7. Getup early and do breakfast in bed just the two of you before the kids get up
  8. Read a dirty novel together
  9. Take sexy  (not nude) pics of him                                                                                                                  
kajira
by Bronze Member on Feb. 21, 2013 at 7:37 PM

I don't know what to say, I'm really boring and predictable and our sex life is still fun and we are madly in love with each other... 

I think part of it is we make a point to eat together, touch each other, bathe each other, tell each other we love each other constantly, flirt, pet, we remind each other we appreciate the hard work of the other person, we make a point to stop and hug each other when we walk past each other in the house sometimes. just simple little, every day things.

aikimomof3
by on Feb. 21, 2013 at 10:52 PM

The only advice I can give is that you have to make a conscious effort EVERY DAY. Once the honeymoon period is over, all those endearing qualities you used to find so cute will become annoying, and you will find it easier and easier to slip into a state of complacency. Yep, unfortunately after a while it takes effort to keep the passion alive in the relationship, but it is completely possible if you are both on board.

Zazayam
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 12:56 AM

Try date nights at home after the kids are in bed, watch a movie together or play a game or something.

Put on something sexy and seduce him.

Give him a massage and tell him tomorrow's his night to give you one. (bonus points for happy endings)

2lilmamas
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 2:28 AM
Quoting AleaKat:

The Love Dare!
It totally saved us in our slump!


I've read the book not because we needed but just because I wanted to. It definitely great.
canog08
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:14 AM

 


Quoting 2lilmamas:

Quoting AleaKat:

The Love Dare!
It totally saved us in our slump!


I've read the book not because we needed but just because I wanted to. It definitely great.


 by who???

cntrdmom
by Bronze Member on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:27 AM
Schedule some alone time. Some dates. Your relationship is just as important as the kids. We went thru this too. We went thru a lot. Other stuff too. But we just kinda held on. 7 years in April and the spark has come back like a wildfire! Even with a new baby around. Maye something bothering or stressing your DH too. I can recommend a few books that also helped

His needs her needs
She comes first
The 5 love languages
The power of a prayin wife (I'm Christian. If this doesn't appeal to you that's fine. But no matter your religion I think it can offer a different perspective)

This helped me thru our rough times. What it didn't fix right away I got some insight into our issues and could be more patient. Good luck! Just don't give up.

Oh we went as far as to each make a list of the top 5 things we need and weren't getting. Of course his was sex, Xbox, respect, communication and help around the house in that order. Turns out we had a couple of the same needs. But it was a reminder to eachother what we needed. We posted them on the bedroom wall. Lol.
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CrystalPystol
by on Feb. 22, 2013 at 5:39 AM

Do date nights, even at home. Sometimes DF and I will rent a movie and cook one of our favorite meals.

Weekends, we lay in bed together until we are ready to get up. He works 10 hr shifts all week. We just enjoy each others company whether at home or out! 

I hope everything works out for you!

MomToovey
by Marianne on Feb. 22, 2013 at 7:56 AM

 Make time for each other every single day. I know it's hard, and maybe at first you can start with just 10 minutes. But every day, spend quality time with each other. Have date nights in after the kids are asleep. Avoid letting things become routine, try new things.

And above all, choose to feel that fire and it will come back.

2lilmamas
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 3:36 AM
I try appreciate all his efforts. He also tries to do special things spontaniously. We do a lot little dates to spend quality time together.
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