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Splitting expenses evenly?

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:37 AM
  • 99 Replies
EDIT: 90% of the women who replied to this thought Im married. To clarify: I AM NOT. I figured using SO instead of DH would be enough explanation. Everyone whose married on here refers to their husband as DH, while SO is used for unmarried couples, hence Significant Other.

SO and I have always split our family's expenses evenly. Such as diapers, clothes, groceries, gas, an other necessities. We each have our own personal bills but they're almost identical because we go through the same insurance company and cell phone company. We split our monthly YMCA bill and I pay the Gerber insurance so he pays the Netflix because they're the same amount pretty much. There's been many times though, that while he's at work, ill randomly buy a decent amount of stuff for DS when were out. Either because I have some extra money to spend, there's things on sale that I'd love for DS to have, or simply because we need it and I can buy it myself. SO has done that a few times also, but no more then twice in DS's entire life, because I'm always with him after he's off work so we always split everything when we go out. Now when we go out to eat or movies or most other outings, he pays for us all.



Ok anyways ill get to the point. I lost my debit card a few nights ago and am waiting for a new one in the mail. SO knows I don't have a way to get $ out of my bank because its closed Sunday, but he was fine with paying for necessities like gas and food. But last NIGHT we go to Burlington to get DS a toddler potty and new shoes and I say before we go into the store "ill pay half of the balance when my banks open tomorrow." And he says ok and we go shopping. At checkout the total is $58 so he says "when we get home and I ask you for $40 you're not gonna be mad right?" And I said "ill give you $30, the total is $58" so SO says "Plus the $10 from giant eagle earlier" (grocery store)...so I agree to give him the $40 and we walk out to the car and as we're loading DS into carseat I say "im fine with splitting everything like we've always done and I agreed to pay you half for this trip, but I think counting down to the exact penny every single time is ridiculous. For the rest of our lives are we always gonna be splitting every last expense ? That's not how married couples do things, or even most couples with kids. (IMO, I'm not actually sure cuz I don't discuss finances with my married friends lol but I'm going by some of the married people I know or when I was growing up and watched friends parents do things or my parents do things with $)... So he gets cranky and says fine just give me 20 then! I said that's not the point and why are you getting mad? I'm simply saying I think it's a little cheap of you to hold me to every last penny.. And that was that.



Oh and all the times I've went shopping without him for stuff for DS, when SO comes home ill show him everything I got because I always love showing off the cute things I pick out for DS, but I've never once asked or expected him to pay me half for it!
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by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
OliviaW.
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:58 AM
6 moms liked this
We don't do this. We share a checking account so there's no my & his money...it's our money. We make sure the bills are paid and groceries are bought. Anything leftover we talk about first if it's a big purchase.
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ncohetero
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 7:59 AM
1 mom liked this
This is what we do


Quoting OliviaW.:

We don't do this. We share a checking account so there's no my & his money...it's our money. We make sure the bills are paid and groceries are bought. Anything leftover we talk about first if it's a big purchase.

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alexsmomaubrys2
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:00 AM

I couldn't live that way at all. We merged our accounts the day after we said "I do".


nanasue31204
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:06 AM
1 mom liked this
We've always combined our finances, we moved in together at 18 and opened a joint account we didn't get married until 23 and had no kids. We believed in living life like we would be together forever instead of keeping it easy to split up. Dh has always made.more money than me and never once complained about paying for more, especially once we started our family. I do more around the house than him and don't complain about that so why would he complain about providing for his family. I'm now a sahm and make no money he still gladly pays for everything.
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98765
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:23 AM

I couldnt even finsih reading that whole thing it was so confusing. Sorry. I could never live like that. Whoever has the $ pays fo whatever it is. And if we both happen to have the $ usually I let him pay. :) 

AleaKat
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:25 AM
1 mom liked this
Same.
I just don't see the point in a marriage if everything is separated yours and mine I'd feel like a room mate.
We are in this together.


Quoting alexsmomaubrys2:

I couldn't live that way at all. We merged our accounts the day after we said "I do".

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aarensmommy
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:26 AM

 we have a shared account,im a sahm and babysit for extra money. his money pays for all our billes and we use the cash i have for anything outside of thats, groceries,clothing etc. it works for us since he doesnt manage money very well. we  discuss what to do with any extra money from his check

Rosebud27aj
by Amanda on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:26 AM

We share our money. 

momma2b2008
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:32 AM
Before my hubby and I got married we had access to each others bank accounts, for in case of emergencies, and even then we didn't split things. But when we got married we got a joint bank account. So we have not really had his and my money. It's pretty much always been our money.
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MayMommy07
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 8:37 AM
It works out my money is for rent and he pays all the rest(credit cars,health/car/house insurance,gas,food) we have one checking and savings. I couldn't split every thing.... I guess it's what works for you. We have one acct. I do the bills so he asks me if he can get a hair cut or buy this( its his money technically) but we are a family and its our money! Good luck Hun!
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