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HELP My husband sent flowers to another woman on Vday

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So a few days ago I discovered that my husband used our credit card to purchase $70 flowers for another woman that he works with. He had them sent to her on valentines day with a message that read "Here is a little gift from a jerk :)". Once he came home, I confronted him. He goes on to tell me how they are just work friends and that him and some other guys from work were making fun of her because her bf does not ever get her flowers. So, she called him a jerk and he felt bad about making fun of her. He then stated that the flowers were an apology. Later on in the conversation I asked him if he has been texting her outside of work. I told him that I have the phone records and I will know if he is being truthful or not. He then tells me that yes he text her outside of work on an average of about 200-300 text each day. He then thoughT it was a good idea to let me read some of the text messages as a way of showing me that there was nothing going on. I felt like the conversation was extremely personal in nature. She was talking to him about her miscarriage and her family. I was very hurt by that. Now eight months ago I was pregnant with our 2nd child and he told me that he did not love me like he felt he should love his wife. He talked about how he wanted a fairytale romance. About a week later I found out that he met some woman through his online game and they were having late nite phone conversations for hours while I was asleep, at work, or while he was alone. He felt so connected to this woman that he had never met that he was actually willing to put on hold fixing our relationship so that he could see what was there with the other. However, in the end we decided that we were going to go to counseling and work on our marriage. He cut off all communication with her. Because of everything that has gone on I severly mistrust him. He, however, sees nothing wrong with his behavior. He tells me that he has not lied to me and they are friends. The fact remains that I had no idea until a few days ago how often he was texting her, and he never came to talk to me about getting a woman that I do not know flowers. WHAT DO YOU THINK AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WAS YOU? THANKS FOR YOUR FEEDBACK

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:58 AM
Replies (31-40):
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 1:16 PM

Well I would actually go see the woman and visit her. Make sure he's telling the truth and see exactly what his and her intentions are. I have a guy friend and we text everyday, we have never met. However, I'm married he has a gf who he lives with. We do not however talk to each other when our SOs are home out of respect for them. We do have an emotional relationship almost like best friends, and we do talk about sex but not about doing things with each other. This could be possible. I would find out from her what's going on.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:00 PM

Wow, how would he feel if you acted this way. In my opinion if you hide something from your partner, that's a form of cheating.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:04 PM
Men don't send a 70 apology and they don't text a woman 200-300 times a day unless there is something going on.

I'm sorry but he is cheating and I counting on you to be stupid enough to believe him.

I really am sorry.
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by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:08 PM
Go back to counseling.

If he would invest the same amount of attention to your marriage, things would be better.

It seems to me like he expects you to make him happy. That is not your job. I also think he has unrealistic expectations of marriage.
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by Charlotte on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:48 PM

I am nasty so i would def confront this woman and tell her to leave yr DH alone otherwise you will be telling her bf because he has the right to know....i realize it takes two to tango but im getting really sick of these whores that think its OK to text/flirt w/a hubby or another man who is in a committed relationship.  Also, I would tell yr hubby that you are very uncomfortable about the situation and either he needs to look for another job (im sure this is unrealistic) , get back into counseling or your marriage is done and then he can spend as much time texting her and buying her "apology" flowers once your gone....

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:05 PM
Ok if he was just saying hes sorry walmart flowets would ve been enough .He lying to you and thinks u will believe him.. Done leave him. kick him out the housse..IF my DH sends flowers to another woman.Im gone..
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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:53 PM

I hope you don't honestly believe he has stopped communication with her? He works with her and I'm sure that he has/is fuckkin her. Counseling won't get you anywhere - he won't change. I would make some plans to start leaving him and then boom - out of the blue just LEAVE and don't look back.  Your better than that, think of the fact that while he was alone he was talking to another woman in your house...and he sent her flowers on your good if that don't take the prize, I don't know what doez, maybe he has already let her visit your house and your bed. 

Sorry, this happening to you, but most of us have been there and done that and some of us have left and other have stayed.  good luck with your counseling, keep us updated, mama.

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 4:55 PM


by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:03 PM

Quoting SARAH576:

I would talk to a therpist and see what she thinks. Also have you tried talking to her and see what she says without him knowing that you are going to talk to her. Maybe you will find out the truth,and the same time  I would tell her how she would like it if you did that to her if she was married. I had a husband that was seeing a woman for 2 years and I didnt know it,But I figure what comes around goes around. I pray alot and go to church that really helps, Also what does your intuition tells you?

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by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:30 PM

wow how do i even respond to this mess?  well first of all pick yourself up mama, get strong and seriously consider leaving him!  He is going to keep doing these things and youre always going to be left not trusting him and scared.  why would you want to live in so much pain everyday?  

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