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HELP My husband sent flowers to another woman on Vday

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So a few days ago I discovered that my husband used our credit card to purchase $70 flowers for another woman that he works with. He had them sent to her on valentines day with a message that read "Here is a little gift from a jerk :)". Once he came home, I confronted him. He goes on to tell me how they are just work friends and that him and some other guys from work were making fun of her because her bf does not ever get her flowers. So, she called him a jerk and he felt bad about making fun of her. He then stated that the flowers were an apology. Later on in the conversation I asked him if he has been texting her outside of work. I told him that I have the phone records and I will know if he is being truthful or not. He then tells me that yes he text her outside of work on an average of about 200-300 text each day. He then thoughT it was a good idea to let me read some of the text messages as a way of showing me that there was nothing going on. I felt like the conversation was extremely personal in nature. She was talking to him about her miscarriage and her family. I was very hurt by that. Now eight months ago I was pregnant with our 2nd child and he told me that he did not love me like he felt he should love his wife. He talked about how he wanted a fairytale romance. About a week later I found out that he met some woman through his online game and they were having late nite phone conversations for hours while I was asleep, at work, or while he was alone. He felt so connected to this woman that he had never met that he was actually willing to put on hold fixing our relationship so that he could see what was there with the other. However, in the end we decided that we were going to go to counseling and work on our marriage. He cut off all communication with her. Because of everything that has gone on I severly mistrust him. He, however, sees nothing wrong with his behavior. He tells me that he has not lied to me and they are friends. The fact remains that I had no idea until a few days ago how often he was texting her, and he never came to talk to me about getting a woman that I do not know flowers. WHAT DO YOU THINK AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WAS YOU? THANKS FOR YOUR FEEDBACK

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:58 AM
Replies (41-50):
eatyourveges
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:32 PM
This, although $70 is a bit excessive. Also my husband would have absolutely told me. He prob would have asked me if I minded actually


Quoting eoewan:

I would have thought the flowers was a sweet way of apologizing. I would have been proud of Dh for being sensitive regarding his earlier actions. However, texting continuously would be crossing a line. There is an emotional connection that is worrisome.

My suggestion would be for you both to go to counselling.


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isaacsmom2013
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:06 PM

Ummm...I am in the opposite boat. I recieved flowers from a married man on Valentine's Day and the text they just keep coming.

Mommacandi1
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:31 PM
thats horrible...but listen....my bd married someone behind my back..iv'e been with him for 14 years...he hasnt married me yet....and when i leave he cries for me back ..saying he made a mistake mind u he still married..
Mommacandi1
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 7:34 PM
Quoting bmcandmmh:

wow how do i even respond to this mess?  well first of all pick yourself up mama, get strong and seriously consider leaving him!  He is going to keep doing these things and youre always going to be left not trusting him and scared.  why would you want to live in so much pain everyday?  


xoxRachelxox
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 8:16 PM

It sounds like he's lying out his ass. If he doesn't see anything wrong with it, he'll do it again and just blow it off.

I would be out the door.

I can't be with someone I don't trust and certainly not someone that doesn't find anything wrong with texting and sending flowers to other woman.

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:15 PM

 

Quoting NDADanceMom:

$70 apology? He could have sent her a $20 pot of tulips if it was an apology. If it was multiple men they could have kicked in and been on the card.

 yup!

KristenFowles
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:18 PM

 The cards are in your hands...  NOT trusting your partner is a HUGE handicap in a happy marriage.  Also, not loving one another - As he said he doesn't love you the way he thinks he should.. is another huge handicap...    You can't MAKE him be in love with you, nor can you MAKE yourself trust him...

Counseling probably is a good idea, and you have to decide what you can or can't live with and what you're willing to accept..

xoch86
by Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:25 PM

I think u have ur answer

yaya89
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 9:26 PM
All these ladies have taken the words out of my mouth. If it was me I would not put up with it. If he really wants the relationship to work he will cut all ties with this woman. Sorry and good luck
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iHEAVENn
by Bronze Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:04 PM

$70 for flowers for another woman.... yeah there is more there. 

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