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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

HELP My husband sent flowers to another woman on Vday

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So a few days ago I discovered that my husband used our credit card to purchase $70 flowers for another woman that he works with. He had them sent to her on valentines day with a message that read "Here is a little gift from a jerk :)". Once he came home, I confronted him. He goes on to tell me how they are just work friends and that him and some other guys from work were making fun of her because her bf does not ever get her flowers. So, she called him a jerk and he felt bad about making fun of her. He then stated that the flowers were an apology. Later on in the conversation I asked him if he has been texting her outside of work. I told him that I have the phone records and I will know if he is being truthful or not. He then tells me that yes he text her outside of work on an average of about 200-300 text each day. He then thoughT it was a good idea to let me read some of the text messages as a way of showing me that there was nothing going on. I felt like the conversation was extremely personal in nature. She was talking to him about her miscarriage and her family. I was very hurt by that. Now eight months ago I was pregnant with our 2nd child and he told me that he did not love me like he felt he should love his wife. He talked about how he wanted a fairytale romance. About a week later I found out that he met some woman through his online game and they were having late nite phone conversations for hours while I was asleep, at work, or while he was alone. He felt so connected to this woman that he had never met that he was actually willing to put on hold fixing our relationship so that he could see what was there with the other. However, in the end we decided that we were going to go to counseling and work on our marriage. He cut off all communication with her. Because of everything that has gone on I severly mistrust him. He, however, sees nothing wrong with his behavior. He tells me that he has not lied to me and they are friends. The fact remains that I had no idea until a few days ago how often he was texting her, and he never came to talk to me about getting a woman that I do not know flowers. WHAT DO YOU THINK AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF IT WAS YOU? THANKS FOR YOUR FEEDBACK

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 5:58 AM
Replies (61-70):
baileymarie723
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:02 PM
This is exactly what I was thinking. I could see him making a $70 apology to her being his wife, but to a female co-worker it just doesn't seem right especially adding the 200-300 text messages to the mix.

Quoting NDADanceMom:

$70 apology? He could have sent her a $20 pot of tulips if it was an apology. If it was multiple men they could have kicked in and been on the card.

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thatgirl70
by Bronze Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:03 PM

I'm sorry, but he doesn't need to spend $70 on another woman woman to prove he's not a jerk. A simple apology would have sufficed, at the most, maybe a card. He's full of it and I wouldn't trust anything he said.

Myruhbel
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 3:45 PM
To be honest, I don't believe him. I was in his position. It's not going to stop if he doesn't put an end to everything. He knows what he is doing wrong and he needs to quit it. For me, I told my husband how my feelings were and we got marriage counseling. All relationships have their ups and downs and it takes two to make things work. But BOTH partners have to try their best to make it work! So he needs to quit messing around and get his priorities straight! It honestly does not sound like he's trying very hard. Smh. You deserve better. *hugs*
Princessfloxy
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:10 PM
Pray to God. Sorry
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Bertieb
by Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:31 PM

It's an affair whether sexual or not. If it meant nothing you should have known about the flowers before they were sent. He should be sending her ZERO texts unless they are totally work related, and then not on a regular daily basis.  And how will you knkow if it's ever over if they work together and you aren't there? How could they even keep working together after all that. It would drive me crazy and I would never be secure with him still being there and seeing her everyday.  So sorry about this, it happened to me too!

IQuitCounting
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:36 PM

$70 is a pretty pricey appology to someone that's just a work  friend.... and while he may not have lied to you, why the hell didn't he tell you about it when he did it?  I mean, if my husband were doing something like sending apology flowers to a friend it would have come up in our daily conversation.  He would have told me he felt bad about something he'd said and then maybe asked me for my opinion on how to make it up to her.  It would not have been on the sly at all...

Sorry, maybe he's just dense, but with his track record and the simply needless omission of information would worry the crap out of me.

mamaofficer
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:36 PM

He could of brought her a 3 or 4 dollar sorry card and wrote from a jerk, instead of $70.00 flowers and then texting her alot.

thecoffeefairy
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:38 PM
It sounds like an emotional affair to me. Possibly a physical one.
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alexislovesjr
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 3:47 PM

He just sound like the cheating type by what you describe. Even if he hasn't been intimate with someone else. He has a issue of wondering eyes and lust with other women. There is no relationship if there is no trust. You definetly need some kind of counseling together. Personally I would leave but thats me. I would think he didn't really love me and if he does he will realize it when I leave and fight for our marriage. Dont waist years with someone who may not be worth you love and time. If I ever caught my DH TEXTING much less sending FLOWERS to another woman all hell would break loose!!!

emillz92
by on Mar. 1, 2013 at 6:37 PM

That is WAY too much to spend on her for a stupid apology, and especially on V, Day and he does NOT need to talk to her that much.. It doesn't matter if they're "just friends", there's more to it than that whether he wants to admit it or not.

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